Our Cramazing May, Episode XXIX: Lunchtime for Tom

Shortly after the video shoot was over, it was time for Tom to go to his room for lunch.  This would turn out to be a pivotal time for us as we sat on the floor with the kids and with Soudemani, their caregiver.  It was during this lunch that Tom looked at his daddy with those adoring little eyes and seered the words, "I choose you!" onto his heart.  You see, Hoffbeast already loved--by choice--his son with a passion, but the son had been an unwilling participant in this arrangement until this point.  But over the course of a few short minutes, the love of the father drew Tom in and won him over.

This is one of the many pictures of the heavenly Father that we see in this beautiful story of adoption.  Once an orphan, I, too, like Tom, was chosen for love by my Father.  But I didn't know it.  Nor did I know how to receive the love being offered.  But His Spirit is patient, and He wooed me, drawing me to Himself.  And, one day, I knew Love.

I'm pretty sure the other sweet little kiddos in Tom's room got a picture of a daddy's love that day, too.  I pray that they all will one day know that kind of love...forever.

While sitting on the floor, watching the lunchtime routine, I talked with Swati, who sat next to me.  It was in this casual, normal, everyday-to-them environment that she told us Tom's story.  The story that never made its way to his paperwork.  The story that he will be free to tell one day if he wishes.  The story that likely would have been lost in the shuffle had it not been for the relationship that had already been established.  Swati and I had an immediate connection, and I felt free to ask the questions I needed to ask.  What did his name mean?  What were first few days like?  How did he get to Basundhara?  This information, shared that afternoon around the dinner "table", is so precious, and we will always be thankful that we were able to learn some of these answers. 

It was also during this time that we heard the story of precious little Naomi, the little girl I've thought of nearly every day for the last year.  Naomi's story will not be shared on here, but suffice it to say that her story is a painful one shared by all too many little girls in India.  Naomi's life is a miracle, and I pray that the Lord is preparing her for her family and her family for her.  And I pray that she will be home soon, and that one day I can see her sweet face again in person.  She had grabbed my attention early on in some of the pictures and in one of the videos that we had received of Tom...it was wonderful to sit in that room with her beside me, knowing that she was being left in a good place until a good family could be found for her.  If they called me today and asked if we would adopt her, we would say yes, but they won't; Indian adoption doesn't work that way.  And besides--she has a family, so we've been told.  Naomi and Tom spent a year-and-a-half of their lives as roommates, so I would love to get in contact with her new family so that we can stay in touch over the years.

Other things to note in the following video...I love that we have Soudemani on camera, telling us what to feed Tom.  She says that he should have one hard-boiled egg per day and fish once a week.  And she was rather adament about it!  :)  Also, sitting in the background is a little girl in blue, R.  R was pictured in many of Tom's photographs that we had received from Basundhara before we arrived, and our understanding is that she was the little girl assigned to live in that room and help Soudemani with the babies.  That might not be quite right, but it's something like that.  R's story became very intertwined with ours later, so stay tuned!

There is much to be said about our time at Basundhara that fits in the category of "When in Rome, do as the Romans."  We didn't know what to expect, but we know enough about become third-culture people NOT to go in and pretend that we...knew what to expect.  It was important that we took things as they came, that we got down on the floor, that we didn't react to the fact that Tom was both feeding himself and getting food shoveled in by Soudemani (We're pretty sure that he was a bit favored, being one of the only boys...he got a LOT of food!), that we listen hard to hear through the accent and appreciate that they were trying to speak English...I certainly didn't know a bit of Oriya! 

Our time at the orphanage was as good as it was partly because we made our time there be more than just about meeting Tom.  Yes, that was why we were there.  But if we had taken him and run, we would have missed out on the relationships, on the experience, on the simply being there and seeing life as he had known it for all those months.  He took his first bottle there.  He rolled over for the first time while there.  He spoke his first word there.  He took his first step there.  This was and IS a very important place in our son's life, and taking it all in was not going to be missed by me.  I don't regret one second of our being there...in fact, I wish we could have stayed longer, and I'd love to go back someday!  Basundhara is a place where children are well loved and cared for....and we are so grateful that this was Tom's home while he was waiting for us.