Halloween

The American cousins trick-or-treating with the English cousins in tow. It was a drizzly-which-turned-to-full-on-rainy night, and fun and memories were had by all...

This year, we had a coyote (Tom), a princess (what-a-surprise-Beth), a Native American Chief (Neil), a slice of Pi (Rex), and a doctor (cousin M).

After a momentary afternoon panic on the part of Mama, thinking we weren't going to be able to finish the costumes on time, we pulled it out, and in the end, we really had a great time.  Neil wore a pillow case costume drawn by my mom and worn by one of us kids years ago when I was little.  The upside...it was awesome.  The downside...non-permanent marker + rain = a destroyed costume.  

Sad.  :(  At least we got pictures, and he enjoyed every minute of it.  Thanks, Grandma, for your constant contributions to our kiddos.  Maybe next year, we can borrow the Daniel Boone cap.  :)

13 Weeks!

Hello, world! My name is Bart, and I'm 13 weeks old today! My mom says I can't wear this premie-sized onesie anymore cuz I've finally outgrown it...I'm huge!!!

Tummy Time!

He's not always this peaceful when laying on his tummy, believe me, but today...he loved it!  Such a sweet little guy...we are blessed!

Rest.

Rest.  That's what today was for me.  Without a doubt, one of the most relaxing days I've had in a very long time.  I can't explain it, really, but if I'm ever again asked what a relaxing day would look like for me, I'm going to describe this one.

It wasn't exactly filled with people, but I certainly wasn't alone; it wasn't chalk full of activities, but there was plenty to do; it wasn't a nice, warm day, but it wasn't freezing either.  It was perfectly in between...on all of those.

The highlights of my day:

-breakfast with my most of my brood (Daddy and Neil were gone for much of the day...but that's NOT why it was so great!) as well as some of Hoffbeast's extended family

-swimming with the gang...Rex and Beth got some mama swimming lessons, and they both are a little closer to being confident swimmers.

-mandatory rest time (Translation:  Rex worked on the computer doing a project for school while Mama, Beth, Tom, and Bart zonked out!) with a Cosby Show marathon in the background .

-playground time and the return of Dad and Neil.  During this time, I had Bart in the baby carrier and youtubed/listened/sang to whatever Steven Curtis Chapman song happened to come to mind.

-dinner (pizza delivered from Dominos which, by the way, is MUCH better than it used to be...their revamp is actually working, I think!), bedtime, and snuggles in our hotel room, all while watching the Cardinals beat the Red Sox in Game 3 of the World Series.

-late-night hangout time with my SIL, BIL, and two nieces from England.....a wonderful way to end a lovely day.

-shower.  Yes, that counts as a highlight....I have five children, people!

Interspersed throughout, of course, was nursing Bo, sticking my tongue out at him (That's his favorite playtime activity!), and putting him down for his naps.  That, and watching the big kids interacting so well with him. Rex has made up a song that helps him calm down, and he loves walking around with him, growing more confident by the day.  Neil is my go-to bottle-feeding expert...he is great at it!  Beth sits next to him and sings sweetly, and she loves to draw for him..."scribble scrabbles" are his favorite, of course!  Tom would kiss him all day if I'd let him...which I won't, thank you very much!  A baby can only have so many big brother kisses in a day; mama kisses, on the other hand...you can never have too many of those!

I am so thankful tonight....for so many things.  Thank you, Lord, for this day, for the ways that you are working, and for answering prayers.  You are faithful, and I praise you tonight.

3 Months!!!

He's 3 months old today...amazing. Here he is hanging out with his Auntie Kara...he is one loved little baby around here!

 I totally didn't plan it, but I did notice when I took this pic that Bart's sleeper today matched the blanket...love it! That blanket was made for Bart by Neil's 1st grade teacher...their class was praying for the babies for much of last school year, so she made that for him this summer. So sweet!

Sleepy Baby!

Sweet sleeping baby...LOVE!

Neil and his baby buddies

I was testing out my new scanner app on my phone...it worked very well! And look what a great image it captured...1-year-old Neil and his Ethiopian buddies, O and T!

Hoffchildren!

This photo was taken one morning before I left for Pennsylvania, and I loved having it with me both to share with others and to gaze at myself.  I have the most wonderful, charming, beautiful, sweet, fun-loving children around, and the love they show each other (most of the time, anyway) is precious.  They have a deep love for one another...couldn't ask for anything more!

Sidekick

Daddy's sidekick...someday. (Right now, he's more like Mama's sidekick!) 

I go.

My heart is heavy tonight.

Not sure why.  Exactly, anyway.

Loss.

Break-ins.

Jail time.

Unexpectedness.

Holes in windows.

Anger.

Disappointment.

Much, much brokenness all around.

We weren't made for this place, and tonight, I have tried to escape its harshness by watching a new show, eating ice cream, avoiding the necessary in every way possible.

What I need to do is to go to bed, rest in Him, and begin a new day, breathing in His mercies that will surely be new on the other side of the sleep.

By faith, to bed I go.

Mama and Baby

What a sweet little guy....I treasure every snuggle, every hug and kiss.  He is a gift beyond measure!

Morning Snuggles!

Hoffbeast and the Ladies!

Our team had our pictures taken together today!

We are so incredibly grateful for each one of these dear friends and co-workers who are also all about reaching the inner city with the Gospel!

Pictured l to r:  Hoffbeast, Hoffbeauty, Bridget, Kara, Cheryl (intern), Andrea, and Katharine (intern)

Caringbridge - Baby Day, Part 1

Tonight's the night.  The night I force the words out of my heart and onto the paper.  There will never be a perfect time, a time when there are no other distractions and life slows down enough to just think. and. breathe. and. remember.  Not unless I just make it happen.  So tonight...

<think. breathe. remember.>

I barely slept.  Nearly two hours of working to get my wedding ring off followed by finally packing my hospital bag and checking the last few things off the list led to about a hundred minutes of sleep.

I haven't put my rings back on.  My ring finger is still traumatized from all the Windex.

But really, who can think of sleep when the alarm goes off on the morning of a planned c-section?  The clock alarm--Beeeeeeep, beeeeeep, beeeeeep.  The heart alarm--"It's baby day, the day you will meet your babies."  There's no snooze button on the heart alarm....once the heart is awakened, there's no going back.

Hoffbeast was, as usual, a happy little fleet manager and had the car all ready for the ride to the hospital. We drove our Escort, the same little car we drove to the hospital on the Fourth of July back in 2002 when Rex was on his way into our arms.  We drove and laughed and videoed and hoped....the day was finally here.

People have asked how the day of delivery went.  It was beautiful....and sad....but mostly beautiful.  God was so evident in His presence, and I am grateful--I will always be so grateful.

I had become quite apprehensive about the surgery by the time the day actually came, both because of what I knew--I had had three c-sections already--and because of what I didn't know--would Aaron's body be there?  would Bart's heart be as healthy as we had hoped?  would there be any more complications waiting around the corner?

And it went amazingly well.  Really.

One of the best parts about the day was our anesthesiologist.  We had had a bad experience with the anesthesiologist on the day of Beth's birth, and I was so hoping that that would not be repeated.  It was the complete opposite.  Dr. T was kind and compassionate and sensitive to my needs, including the need to have both my husband and my friend in the room with me.  When we asked, she said yes, and the result was both some amazing pictures of Bart's birth and the reality that I never had to be alone...even when daddy walked away to be with baby, Andrea was able to stay right there with me.  And while my husband was wiping my tears and calming my nerves, Andrea was checking on Bart and continuing to capture the moments on film.

My doctors...I just can't say enough about them.  Dr. D and Dr. M both performed my surgeries with Hunt, Beth, and now Bart & Aaron.  I feel like they are part of our family, and the comfort I felt with them there cannot be overstated.  Of course I was still nervous.  But I knew, too, that they would take the absolute best care of me possible.

These were, after all, the two doctors that God had handpicked back in 2004 to be the doctors who would perform my life-saving operation after Hunt had gone to be with Jesus.  He knew long before I ever did how much I would need their exact expertise and know-how, and He put them there at the hospital that morning. They cared for me back then, and it hasn't changed since.  On July 24, they were the right people again...I am so thankful.

Dr. D asked me where Bart's given name came from.  Right there in the OR, we were able to point to the book of Ruth, to the Christ-figure who pointed to the real Kinsman-Redeemer who would come after him.

Thank you, Jesus....for your love for our boys and our whole family.  You didn't have to give us these gifts, but you did.  Aaron was with us for a short time, but his little heart has changed mine.  It pointed me again to my need for You and has glorified you in ways I won't know this side of Heaven.  And Bart....this sweet little baby who coos and breathes and baby-snores right next to me now....you have shown me your grace again in the way of this precious-beyond-measure love of my heart.  

Why?  And again, why?  I don't know.  But your ways are higher than my ways, and your thoughts higher than my thoughts.  So I grieve, and I hope, and I cry, and I trust, and I remember, and I joy.

You are good, and your love endures forever.

A Night in NYC

For the last three trips to Valley Forge, I have ended up on a New York City adventure.  The first year, it was spontaneous, but the last two years, it was planned.  This year, while the team went to see Wicked on Broadway, Bart and I roamed the city for a few hours and had a great time!

Me, Bart, and Times Square!

Baby Bart meeting my friend, Carole, at the Redeemer Presbyterian Church office...they got along pretty well right off the bat! It's pretty sweet to introduce him to people who prayed so faithfully all those months for him and Aaron.  Aren't they cute together??!  :)

Fall in Valley Forge

2013 Cru Stint/Intern Conference Attendees

  As one of my teammates said, it was, "awesome ministry collaboration with awesome colleagues!"

I have been incredibly privileged to be a part of the Cru Campus Ministry's Stint/Intern Coordinator team for the last several years.  Each fall, we meet in Valley Forge, Pennsylvania, to discuss strategy, recruiting, policies, and all sorts of leadership development pieces related to our Cru intern program.

Jim Rhodes, the leader of our team, calls me at "at-large" member of the Campus Ministry, and my role on our team is partly to speak as a representative of the non-Campus ministries within Cru.  I love this team, and I continue to be grateful to get to be a part of moving our intern program forward, specifically in Cru Inner City.

This year, Jim hired a babysitter so that Bart could join me at the conference!  As you can see from the photo above, two babies joined in the fun this year...what a great example of valuing moms in our ministry!

Beth Says

"Oh, Bart, you're so cute!  I know I wanted a girl, but I would miss you if I didn't have you!  I love you soooo much!  As a baby, you're so cute!"

Yep.  We love him, just as he is, boy parts and all.  :)

10 Weeks!

I said, "Can you give me a smile?" and he did this! He is responding to our voices more and more...10 weeks old today!!!