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Saturday, December 17, 2011

Too Many Details?

My brother told me awhile ago that my blog report of our trip to India had too many details.  So I told him not to read it.

I get it--for my readers who are concise, get-right-to-the-point people, the Our Cramazing May episodes are simply too tedious and too cumbersome to read.  I am not offended in the least.

But for those who are interested in adoption and specifically those who are either in the process to adopt from India or are considering it, I hope that these words and photos will paint a picture of walking with God through the journey.  He was in it the whole time.  At every corner, we were seeing Him provide, lift up, strengthen, and give us faith to keep trusting Him.  Adoption is not for the faint of heart--but it IS for broken people who are motivated by the heart of God to care for orphans and beautifully display a shadow of what real adoption looks like.  I was adopted by the perfect Father, and as I walk through the process, I see God more clearly.

That is not to say that adoption is a means to an end.  Adoption is an end in itself, a permanent, irrefutable, forever condition.  It is a high calling, and one that should never, ever, ever, ever (You get my drift?) be entered into lightly.  But having considered the need and the heart of God toward orphans and the power that is available to those who depend fully on Him, believers should feel free to, motivated by, and confident about moving forward into the beautiful, difficult, rewarding, challenge, and amazing world of adoption.

And, by the way, I doubt that Tom (or Tom's wife and children someday) will think that this record is too detailed.  He has no baby book.  He has very little record of his first two years.  But he will always have this...he will always be able to know what Daddy, Mama, and Rex went through to bring him home to our family.

Too detailed for you?  Skim it and glance at the pics!  Perfect for where you are?  Read on, and enjoy...

Our Cramazing May, Episode XX: Arriving at Basundhara

Bhubaneswar is called "The City of Temples".  There are temples everywhere you look because, as we learned, a temple can be a large building that you can walk into, or it can be a relic tied to a tree.  Anything can be used in idol worship...anything at all.  On our drive to Cuttack, Tuna shared with us about how he had come to know Christ and how he and Jeepu had met.  Jeepu is also a nickname; her family calls her that because she was born in a jeep.  True story.
 We continued to be so surprised at how much English we saw.  On street signs, on buildings, on the backs of vehicles.  We expected that in Delhi but really thought that Oriya would be the dominant language in Orissa.  And while it certainly was the dominant speaking language, you wouldn't have known it by looking around.
 The roadways are full of every kind of transportation imaginable, as well as people and animals walking on the road.  SUVs, motorbikes, autos (also known as tuk-tuks or auto rickshaws), taxis of all sorts, large transport trucks, busses....all of these share the road.  We didn't notice it while there, but someone later pointed out that women don't drive there much.  True...I can't remember ever seeing a woman driver.  But the women are certainly present, often riding side saddle dressed in their beautiful saris and on the backs of motorbikes, sometimes wearing a baby or carrying something large in their laps.  The balance needed is amazing!  And they do it all the time!  Often, a child is sitting on the front of the motorbike seat, and multiple times, we saw a family of 4 on one motorbike!  Auto rickshaws are everywhere, and later that day, we would get our first chance to ride in one!
Cuttack is a small Indian town of about 100,000 people, located at the convergence of three rivers.  Before getting into the city, we crossed over the then-dry riverbed, and again, the landscape changed dramatically.  We found ourselves in a Cuttack neighborhood with our driver and Tuna asking for directions from one person and then another.  Here, there are no fold-out maps, and the neighborhood streets are completely unmarked.  The directions are something like, "Go down the road to the white house on the corner.  Turn right.  When you get to the tire stand, turn left.  Go straight until you see a man on the corner selling pots and pans.  The road to the orphanage is over the sewer ditch a little ways up the road from the man."  I'm not sure what they were saying in Oriya, but it seemed like it must have been something like that.

Eventually, I caught a glimpse of the orphanage through the other buildings.  It is a distinctive color, and its three stories tower above the mostly one-story shacks, makeshift homes, and shops we were seeing.  When we saw the orphanage, our driver suddenly turned, and we braced ourselves for the bumps as we off-roaded up and over an open sewer ditch on two slabs of concrete that had been made into a bridge.  I quick snapped this picture...
 
 See the ditch?  See the concrete slabs?  Our car drove over two of those, one tire on each slab.  Not much surprises me when riding in a vehicle in a developing country, but that one did.  I just couldn't believe that this could possibly be the main entrance.  But each day that we returned to the orphanage, we drove the exact same way.  Eventually, we got used to it, but that first time was a little scary.

When we got back to the hotel that night and after my 2 "boys" were in bed (Daddy and Rex), I sat down at the computer and began to write about our day...

"I have been up late many nights in the last few weeks, but this night is different from any of the others.  Tonight, I sit here as a mama who hasn’t only looked at pictures of her son but has seen him with her eyes and held him in her arms.  He is precious and brave beyond words, and someday, he will probably grow to like us.   J

The trip has been full of adventures already and I will write more over time.  But for now, I must record the events of the day.
Walking into Basundhara was one of the most surreal experiences of my life, perhaps even topping the drive in to the Care Center in Addis Ababa, mostly because of the sheer amount of time that I’ve known about it.  I first saw their website just days after getting Jag’s referral, so I’ve been thinking of this place and this person for 19 months.  Wondering when we would go, hoping that we could go soon, and packing for the actual go.  And now, all of a sudden (not really—it actually took a week of travel to get to here), we were walking in the front gate.  I knew Basundhara’s yellowish color from a long way away….and here we were.
We were greeted by a man, who directed us to a woman, who went and got another woman, who took us upstairs to the room where we would wait for and meet him.  Thank goodness for parents and their blogs that have gone before us…otherwise, I wouldn’t have known what was happening."
This is the "family room" where all waiting families come to meet their kids.  It is also the room where our agency's social worker lives when she comes to Basundhara to visit each year.
Here we are...waiting for three to become four.  It had been a long journey, but we were finally here, ready--so ready--to meet him.  If you look closely, you can see Tuna in the mirror taking the picture of us.  Turns out that Tuna is quite a good photographer, too, which was a wonderful help!

While we were waiting, Tuna went outside and took some pictures of the orphanage compound for us.  It is really such a beautiful place...a haven in the midst of a grossly impoverished place.  We are so thankful, since he couldn't be with us yet, that Tom got to spend the first 2+ years of his life here!
In the center of the 3-sided building, there is a courtyard, and in it, a huge garden with flowering trees, fruits and vegetables, and gorgeous, great, big flowers!  When Tom came to the room, he would have flowers for me, taken right from their garden.
 
The wide porch is used for playing and for teaching, for dressing and for eating.  It is a wonderful space, actually.  People ask us sheepishly, "What was the orphanage like?" with a tone that assumes the worst.  But this place was so nice!  Was there dirt everywhere?  Sure.  Was it sparsely furnished?  Absolutely.  But the kids were loved, safe, and well-taken-care of.  And compared to the world outside the Basundhara walls, the kids were in a virtual paradise.
 
Our hostess during our time at Basundhara was Swati.  I grew to love Swati very quickly...she was kind, welcoming, and had the most beautiful smile!  If I understood her role correctly, she is one of the psychologists on the staff, and when I asked her how she got to Basundhara, she said that she had heard about the good work that they were doing there and wanted to be a part of it.
 In India, there is no hurry.  No reason to rush.  And no awkwardness with silence.  So when Swati and another woman came in and sat with us, it wasn't necessarily strange for them, but it sure was for us!  Not really, but it was kind of funny.  They brought us water and then just sat looking at us.  We tried to make small talk and figure out what was going on (Where was Tom?  When would he come?), but we just sat.  I love it, actually....different cultures have such varied cultural norms, and when you are a guest in a different culture, the best thing to do is to watch, observe, ask questions, adapt, and learn.  So we waited.  Until The Moment finally came.
 Tuna captured this special moment between the three of us, and I love it.  Rex was our first child...there was a day when we put him in the car and drove him home from the hospital.  Now, he was here, waiting with us for the delivery of his baby brother.

Our Cramazing May, Episode XIX: Landing in Bhubaneswar

Orissa is also called Odisha.  In fact, I believe that the governing body there just passed a resolution to officially rename it, so that its spelling more closely resembles the phoenetic pronunciation.  We arrived in Bhubaneswar, the capitol of Orissa, and the landscape was different than anything we had ever seen before. 

We deplaned, and when I close my eyes, I remember...it was overcast and windy...so windy that I had to hold my skirt down.  And I smiled....knowing that my son was close by and also knowing that God had given me a sweet kiss with my favorite kind of weather.  Even though our plane had started off very empty, by the time we had left Delhi, it was very full, so we packed tight onto the busses that would drive us up to the terminal.  It's funny how things that seem so unfamiliar at first can seem so familiar just a few days later.  When we would leave Orissa, I would look at the airport setup, and it would all make sense, but on this day, it was all new.

I haven't talked much about Rex, but I was so very proud of him.  He was experiencing new things every hour...things he hadn't even come close to experiencing before!  And he was doing it with ease, with courage, and with joy (almost always).  It was such fun! having him along...we are forever thankful that he came with us.  Often, he would add just the little bit of humor we were most needing, or he would hold our hands, and all would be well.  I love him.
I remember wondering how this airport would compare with the airport in Tirana, Albania, when I first arrived there in 1996.  It's not a fair comparison, of course, because I'm sure the airport in Tirana has been much upgraded in the last 15 years, and I have a sneaking suspision that this airport wasn't nearly this nice then.  Having said that, I was impressed.  I thought it would be much smaller and not nearly as organized.  It was fine and served its purpose quite well.
Rex demonstrating that, yes, Time's Almanac for Kids is just as exciting in Orissa as it is in Wisconsin!

With our 9 bags in our hands and our hearts in our throats, we exited the airport and found a spot to stand while we waited for our CCC staff friend, Satyajit.  I remembered being surprised that so much was written in English and that there were palm trees.  We stuck out like 3 sore thumbs, so we figured that Satyajit would be able to recognize us just fine.  And he did.  :)


While we were waiting, Hoffbeast went exploring a bit, and he found a beautifully-carved, wooden wheel.  Very cool! 
Then he looked closer, and it got...a...little...awkward.  It was a fertility wheel.  We decided NOT to point out this intricate artwork to Rex!
After waiting for a short time, Satyajit arrived.  Okay, one of the great things about blogging the details is that I remember things when I look at the pictures that I had completely forgotten about.  Satyajit (who quickly told us to call him "Tuna") had hired a car to pick us up at the airport.  Great!  Only problem was that we had a LOT of luggage for such a tiny car.  They were totally determined, and between the driver and about 3 other guys that were helping him, they fit everything in.  Tuna sat in the front holding our biggest suitcase on his lap, while Hoffbeast sat in the middle of the back with more luggage, and I sat squeezed in next to him with Rex on my lap and a bag on top of him.  Pretty funny.  No seat belts, of course.
But we made it, and in what would turn out to be a blessing that is more amazing than words can say, Tuna told us that he was taking 2 days out of his schedule to help us, serve us in whatever ways he could, translate for us, and take us where we needed to go...including the orphanage.  In Tuna and his wife, Jeepu, we have new friends that have blessed our lives abundantly.  Tuna and his family would play an incredibly important role during our time in Orissa, and we will be forever grateful for the ways that God used them.
This is our room at the Ginger Hotel, where we would stay for five nights while in Bhubaneswar.  Very simple, with very few bells and whistles, but perfect for our time there.  And a great price!  Our first 3 nights at the Ginger cost us $87 total!  We knew that we would have to spend lots of money in Delhi, as the hotels are very expensive there, so we chose to go cheap in Orissa, and we were very happy with our decision.

We dropped our bags off, took a short nap, and then left for the 45-minute drive to Cuttack, Orissa, where Tom's orphanage was located.  Tuna had hired a mini-van to take us to Cuttack, and we were so thankful to know that he would be with us....we had already gotten approval from the orphange for our friend to come with us just as long as he kind of stood back and didn't interfere in any way with the process.  By the time we were done there, he was a welcomed help to the orphanage.

We walked out of the Ginger knowing that when we walked back in the door, everything would be different because we were going to meet Tom in person!!!

Our Cramazing May, Episode XVIII: INDIA!

Asia...India...New Delhi!  We were here!!!  I remember landing in Ethiopia and feeling the same way...we were in Neil's birth country....the long journey had led to this, and here we were!  Difference here was that this journey had been much, much longer...and we still had another plane ride to go before we would meet Tom.  But it would be very soon.
 When we landed, the adrenaline kicked in, and even though it was 2 o'clock in the morning, we were all wide awake.
 Rex was very responsible with his luggage and with Jingles, his stuffed animal friend (that he eventually gave to Tom).  Look how excited he was!
 This is the inside of the Delhi airport terminal.  All throughout, there are signs that say, "Rated the World's #4 airport."  Oh, the irony that, just 10 days later, Rex and Daddy would be stuck in this terminal for hours, finally missing their flight.  That saga will be described later....Rex can't wait to help tell the story!

Getting off of the plane, we had to have our itinerary out to show to the guards on the way in.  I had them ready and showed the guard exactly what he was looking for.  Kind of funny...it didn't seem like he really knew what he was supposed to be looking for, but it was VERY important that he look like he did.  So I helped him out a little.  ;) 

Once in the terminal, we visited the bathroom, gazed at our surroundings (Are we really in India?), and found a little coffee shop where we would spend the next couple of hours.  While there, I asked the cashier how to say "Thank you" in Hindi, and he wrote it down for me.  Of course, I tried to repeat it many times, and he and the other guy working laughed at me.  No better way of making a connection with someone than trying (even if you fail) to learn something they have to teach you!  The effort is nearly always appreciated (and you might just learn something in the process).  Everyone was so nice, and we couldn't believe how very modern, clean, and "normal" the whole experience felt.  Then again, it seemed completely foreign and different and all-new interesting at the same time.

While we were sitting eating our early a.m. snack and drinking our hot drinks, a man came up and asked if he could sit with us, as there was only one table (see above) outside the coffee shop.  He was a fascinating man, and we had a wonderful discussion for an hour or so.  His American name was Pat, and he was an Indian man traveling back to Chennai to visit his mother.  Pat had lived in Chicago for quite some time but currently is living in China, teaching up-and-coming businessmen the ways of Western business.  He was fascinating...and was a Christian.  He told us all about the St. Thomas Mount in Chennai, which is said to be where Thomas was killed and also about the Dioceses where his remains are said to reside.  Six months later, I can't remember much of the details about the conversation, but when it was over, we were very encouraged and were so grateful to the Lord that He had brought us an Indian brother in Christ to welcome us to India.

It was especially nice because one of the names that we were giving our new son was Thomas, after Hoffbeast's paternal grandfather but also in honor of the Apostle Thomas who is believed to have been the disciple to head east from Jerusalem and take the Gospel all the way to India.  How sweet of the Lord to give us an appointment with a fellow believer who could encourage us and tell us a little about our child's namesake and his role in Indian Christianity.
Indian elephants have small ears...Indian elephants have small ears.  I can never remember that, but this picture of this huge, beautiful, bronze elephant should help me remember.  (Aren't elephants supposed to be forgetful or something?  Kind of ironic that I can't remember the difference between African and Indian elephants, huh?)
 To me, this face says, "I can't believe I'm here.  I'm here.  I can't believe I'm here.  I'm going to hold my baby in a few hours.  This is really happening.  I am in Asia with my sweet husband and son, and soon we will meet Tom."  All that.  My face says all that.
 In 10 days time, Rex and Daddy would not be able to get through those doors.  Remember the itinerary that I said that we needed to get into the airport when we arrived?  Well, they needed one 10 days later, too, but they didn't have a printout of it.  So they were stuck outside for hours--and then stuck inside for longer.  Oh goodness....what a story.  And when we took this picture, we had no idea of the drama that was to enfold.  At the time this picture was taken, we still really liked the Delhi airport.  :)

Soon after taking this picture, we began walking toward the Kingfisher Airlines check-in.  That would be the last flight before arriving in Orissa, the state where Tom lived.  On the way, we took our time, knowing that we had plenty of time to get to our gate.  Hoffbeast stopped and exchanged some money, and we noticed little things like the donut stand.  It was called something like "Donut Destination" and had a bright pink neon side.  It looked so out of place, like it had just been pulled out of Times Square or something.  We sauntered and waved to our friend, Pat, as he was moving toward his connecting flight's check-in area as well.

And then we got to Kingfisher.  I calmly handed our itinerary/tickets to the Kingfisher agent, and time sped up!  He said, "Come with me!" and all of a sudden, we were rushed to the front of the line, through the check-in area to security, where he escorted us through a private line and on through the airport almost all the way to our gate.  It was so odd, but we were grateful.  We were walking really fast...poor little Rex had to move as fast as his little legs would carry him.  But he did great!  It was exciting and confusing at the same time.  Why were we being escorted?  Were we supposed to tip this guy?  Were we late for our plane somehow?  We rounded the corner to the hallway where our gate was, and our guide said that that was the end of the road for him.  We thanked him, offered him a small tip (which he refused), and rushed on toward our gate.  We gave our tickets to the gate agent, aware that we were there 2 whole hours before our flight was scheduled to leave, and we rushed down the ramp and out to the jetway.

Here, Hoffbeast tells the story...

To this day, we've never figured it out.  The only thing we can figure is that we were treated sort of like celebraties because we were white.  Seems crazy, but at the same time, there were very few white people in the airport...I think we maybe saw one other.  And this was a huge airport that was very crowded by the time morning came.  So maybe that was it.  I don't know.  Whatever it was, we sure appreciated the help and were grateful to be on our plane early.  Fabulous customer service--we highly recommend Kingfisher!

The Daddy deep in thought...
The view out the window of Bhubaneswar, Orissa, was very different from what we had seen when flying out of Delhi.  Night and day.  A tale of two cities of sorts.
Finally, after 6 days of travel, we were here.  And seeing Tom's face for the first time was only a few hours away...

Our Cramazing May, Episode XVII: India or Bust!

It was finally here...the day we would fly to India.  We would be meeting our son THE DAY AFTER THIS ONE!  It was heart-stopping excitement, and we had to just keep putting one foot in front of the other to keep from getting overwhelmed by what was about to happen.  This video was taken right before we went outside and loaded up the car...


Click here to read the post I wrote the morning we left England...
Jill and Peter live on a close.  As in, their street address is something like 4 Carriage Close.  A close is one main driveway off of the main road that then has multiple smaller driveways off of that one.  Sort of like a court or a cul-de-sac but not really because there is only room for one car to comfortably be on the drive.  I love it...it's so cozy!  You'd sure want to get along with your close neighbors, though, as well...you're very close to them!
Rex is ready to go!  And Hoffbeast poses with his niece and sister, E and Jill.
Heathrow is a gigantic airport, but everyone we met was very helpful and excited about the purpose for our travel. 
Daddy and Rex joked around, and Jill took lots of silly pictures of them while they were waiting for me to get us all checked in.
While finding the check-in was relatively easy, getting from there to our gate was a haul-and-a-half!  But we made it...and even had time to stop at an airport cafe for a coffee.  Tragedy averted:  Rex forgot his book in Aunt Jill's car...enter Daddy to the rescue! 
Finally, we were in the plane and seated for the long flight to India.  India....we were going to INDIA!  That's where Tom lived!!!!  Soon, we would see his sweet face in person! 
None of us had ever been to Asia, so the prospect of our arrival would have been exciting even if Tom hadn't been in the picture.  With him waiting for us, it was so overwhelming, exciting, scary, uncertain, and every other kind of emotion that it was hard to contain ourselves.  Breathe, people, breathe.  (I must say that Hoffbeast would never describe it the way I am right now.  He is always so steady and calm...but I know that inside, he was feeling much of the same.  Come to think of it, I was pretty calm, too...I had to be, I suppose, as there were so many details to keep track of, and I had to stay steady for Rex's sake.  But. I. was. so. so. so. so. excited!)
Our first view of Tom's birth country would be out of this window...
...and we were off!  Somewhere over the patchwork farmlands of southern England.
Rex (and us, too!) loved being able to check and see just where we were on the map...
Again, we should have been sleeping, but we were too excited.  There was some sleep, but mostly, we filled the time with movie watching, channel changing, and Waldo searching.  And eating.  Rex actually liked almost everything on his plate...especially the rice pudding and the dessert.  He did think that it was a little funny that there was a packet of ketchup on the plate with the sandwich.
Sleep came soon after eating and then, before we new it, we were landing in Delhi!
(Check out the above map.  I couldn't help but think of all the tragedy that had occurred in the land underneath us over the decades and centuries.  Seeing all the mountains on the map, I imagined our soldiers working to avenge the deaths of 3000 people on 9/11, seeking out the terrorists and fighting to make a people free.  I thought of the firefights that had occurred in the very airspace we were flying in....and here we were, peacefully flying high while a war waged below.  Almost without thought, hopping over the warzone to the place our heart resided.  Very strange juxtaposition.)

Our Cramazing May, Episode XVI: Teatime at Darnley's

After our delicious lunch, we ventured to the high street of Jill's small town, knowing there was a cafe there that has a scrumptious cream tea.  We've had it before, and we were wanting to try something new, but really, why mess with the best?  It. did. not. disappoint.  Even now, I can almost taste it if I think hard enough!

(Click here to see the original blog post about this day that I wrote while we were still in England.)

Darnley's,  our destination shoppe, is on the right.
Rex was simply mesmerized by the size of his hot chocolate!  (Note:  his eyes do the same thing as mine when he is zoning out.)
Yum!!  Can't wait to dig in!
While enjoying our afternoon tea, E was showing us her photography class's end-of-year project/portfolio.  She is so talented and has such an eye for the art!
Ten minutes later, the hot chocolate had barely been touched.  Rex claimed that he didn't like it.  I say that jetlag was kicking in and that his tastebuds had gone on strike.  Couldn't just let that deliciousness go to waste, so.....I drank it, of course!
And here it is.  The cream tea.  Clotted cream and jam on biscuits.  Simply delicious!  Makes my mouth water just looking at this picture!
Look at the fancy dishes used--and this for a little afternoon snack!
Another picture that perfectly captures an afternoon in England...I look at this, and in a second, I'm back there.  I have no idea when we will go again, but when we do, I'm heading straight for Darnley's!
All the sugar made Rex just a wee bit loopy, so P gave him a lift up the high street and back to the car.  Another beautiful afternoon in the books.  Next up?  More eating...this time at dinner!
Jill and Peter had prepared and grilled a fabulous assortment of meats for Peter's birthday dinner, and we ate up!  I'm telling you...we just ate pretty much the whole day.  It was great.  :)  Food, fun, and family...doesn't get much better than that!  Of course, we hadn't planned our trip to be there on Peter's birthday, but we were sure glad that it worked out that way.  We love our family across the pond, and anytime we get to see them, we are blessed.  We ended the day by singing to the birthday guy, eating summer pudding, and sitting around the table for a couple of hours hearing about their lives and travels.  The next day, we would be off on another huge travel journey of our own!
Hoffbeast could hardly wait to dig into the summer pudding!
(For more pictures of our evening, click on the above link.)