Reflections on Heaven, by Randy Alcorn

"If we understood Hell even the slightest bit, none of us would ever say, 'Go to Hell.' It's far too easy to go to Hell. It requires no change of course, no navigational adjustments. We were born with our autopilot set toward Hell. It is nothing to take lightly--Hell is the single greatest tragedy in the universe." -Randy Alcorn, "Heaven"

Look around you, and take note of everything beautiful, lovely, or good--love from family, laughter with friends, joy (even if only momentary). In Hell, there will be none of any of those things, because God is not there, and every single thing that we see around us that is beautiful, lovely, or good is that way only because it is reflecting our beautiful, lovely, and good God.

Randy Alcorn describes it like this:

"Hell will be agonizingly dull, small, and insignificant, without company, purpose, or accomplishment....Because God is the source of all good, and Hell is the absence of God, Hell must also be the absence of all good. Likewise, community, fellowship, and friendship are good, rooted in the triune God himself. But in the absence of God, Hell will have no community, no camaraderie, no friendship."

That is worse, even than the death and pain and grossness that we find around us, because it is forever.

But on the other side of the picture is Heaven. Heaven is attained only through the grace of Christ. This is the hope to which Dad and Ralph and Uncle Jasper was holding, and I feel 100% sure that if they could speak to us now, they would implore us to cry out to Christ, confess our sins, receive forgiveness, and accept the invitation to the heavenly party that will last forever!

For the Taking

Chaos. Evil.

Mayhem outside their windows.

And yet...

They sleep sweetly.

Rest without thought, recuperation without hesitation, peace without fear.

Oh, the truths I am reminded of as I return from my walk through the valley of the shadow of death.
My children are truly my greatest teachers.

The invitation     to rest like that     is     always     there,

For the taking.

Overrated

In the fourth chapter of John, Jesus's disciples are concerned about his need for food, to which he gently replies, "I have food of which you know nothing."  Further confusion ensues among the disciples until Jesus then states, "My food is to do the will of Him who sent me and to finish His work."

Tonight This morning, I'm wondering if it would be okay for me to substitute the word "food" for "sleep."

Because that's how I feel right now, having had not one wink of sleep last night.

We are in Montana, finishing up our biking leg today, and last night, I stayed up late to wash our four loads of dirty laundy.

In one washer.

And one really slow-working dryer.

By four-o-clock this morning, I was finally ready to go to bed.  Enter Cher, my new friend.

It's 6:30 a.m., and I haven't slept.  Hopefully Cher is sleeping by now, but I decided that at this point, a little sleep would be more painful than helpful. (We'll see if I agree with myself in a few hours.)

Besides, I'm not really tired.  Doing the will of God is better than sleep anyway.  Don't get me wrong...He has created us in such a way that we need sleep, I get it.  But isn't it awesome that He can give us the strength we need for times like this when He calls us to a different path than our norm?

Cher is a new believer, coming to Christ, I believe, about three weeks ago after having walked through a very dark, low period of life.  And she's so hungry.  But her culture has. effected. her. so. much.

We started our conversation by talking about basic parenting questions.  About seven thousand smokescreens later, including talking about my view on homosexuality and whether or not Jesus is actually perfect, we finally got to the heart of the matter:  Cher realized that she was needy, and three weeks ago she cried out to a God who has proven to be infinitely personal to her.

(I realize that if Cher, in fact, doesn't believe that Jesus was perfect, it's hard to believe that He has become her perfection, but I think that Cher understands about as much as it is possible for her to at this point.  Either way, God knows her heart, and it wasn't my job to figure that all out but rather to just share the Gospel again, pointing out to her the way to the Savior.)

I was amazed at a few things:  1) how difficult it was for me to argue the very good points she was bringing up (Perhaps my exhaustion had something to do with my lack of clarity?), 2) how evangelistic this young believer was, albeit about some of the wrong causes, 3) how easily swayed by the culture she was and how influenced by it her beliefs are, 4) how eager she was to have a more mature believer speak into her life.

It was, no doubt, a divine appointment, and I'm thankful.  Lord, draw her close.  Guide her in the Truth, and teach her, Holy Spirit.

Sleep, it seems, is overrated, at least this morning.  Today, my sleep was to do the will of Him who sent me...what a privilege.

perspective

Sometimes

something

bad

                                          happens.

A window.

Glass.

Shards.

                                          a bullet.

I want to run.
I want to cry.
I want to hide.
I want to protect.

But
          my
                      protection
                                            is
                                                     not
                                                                 on my terms.

It
is
on
His.

Which is why....

                                                 Nothing

                                       truly

                               bad

happened.

Some trust in horses, and some trust in chariots, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.  -Psalm 20:7

Could it be?

I don't know what's happening, but...

-tears came on Sunday when I saw a very recent picture of her.
-her first name appeared on a waiting child list.
-the top-of-my-newsfeed news tonight was a friend who had a baby yesterday...named the same name.

I just want her to have a family so badly and for said family to want to be in contact with our son as badly as we want him to be in contact with her.

And if there is no "said family", then can I please be her mommy? Please?

Only God could make it happen.  Then again, He IS a God who does some pretty cramazing things.

We shall see.

From Tom's mouth to God's ears...

"God, please give me a thankful heart.  And will you come and live in my heart forever?"

Have more precious words ever been spoken?

Did Tom enter the Kingdom today?  I don't know....but I know that the Father does--and that He is working.  Unless the Spirit draws a person, he/she does not long for the things of God or understand the message.  But Tom is beginning to understand the Good News, and whenever evidence like this prayer shows itself, it is something beautiful.

Thank you, Lord, for drawing my son...

Created with Purpose

I’m a doodler.  If you took a look at the margins of my class notes from years past, or church bulletins, or napkins, or my journal—any number of places, really—you would see doodles.   I’m no artist, mind you, so my doodles are mostly geometric shapes or attempts at new fonts or maybe just intricate scribbles.  Sometimes once the doodle is done, it occurs to me that I didn’t have a plan when starting the doodle—it just kind of ended up taking shape over time—and sometimes it turns out to be pretty interesting (as far as doodles go).

The picture of the doodle is a microcosm of my creative structuring…I rarely have much more than a vague plan, but over time, the creative thing takes shape—paint in a room, a decorated cake, a blog post.  It’s how I’m wired.  Uniquely and creatively formed…just like my Father planned.

He, on the other hand, had a design.  And a purpose.  And since His plans cannot be thwarted, I can know that His plans for me will be completed.

Our babies have a purpose.  They were designed by our Creator with meaning, and the plans He has for them will be completed.

We are working on baby names.  Being the name nerd that I am, it is particularly important to me that these babies have names which express the heart of the Father toward them.  I look down at my pregnant belly, and it still is astounding to me that God made two babies out of one egg and put them in my womb!  I saw a set of identical twin girls today…I suppose it will be even more strange as time goes on, but as I suspected would happen, I did a double-take.  I want so badly to see Aaron and Bart walking together, holding hands, reflecting each other as in a mirror.

But it is not to be.  God could do a miracle—of course He could—but the likelihood is that His plan for little Aaron is being completed now.  Love grown even in imperfection.  Beauty born out of loss.  Purpose where the world says none exists. 

God, do your thing.  Use our child and our little family in the way you see fit.  Will you grow us, change us, make us more like you?  Cause us to ooze compassion as we see others travel through the valley of the shadow of death.  Make us more aware of the grief that accompanies this broken place, if only to join you, Jesus, even a small bit in your suffering.

And then, give us hope.  Hope that you are sovereign.  That you are good.  That you have plans we cannot see.  That you have not forgotten us or left us or forsaken us in any way.

And where we doubt, give us faith to believe what You say is true.  Where we lack, give us what we need.  And where we grieve, fill our hearts with your peace.

You are good…you are good…and your love, endureth forever.  Amen.

Ringgggggggggggg

One week ago, we were in St. Paul, Minnesota, finishing up our HLIC staff conference.  At the conference, I had been challenged to believe again that Jesus truly IS the only hope for our cities.  I had been motivated again by the life and words of Dr. Bright, the founder of CCC who lived a humble, imperfect, forgiven life in Christ and who believed our big God for very big things.  And I had been inspired by Jahill's story, one of redemption of a young man who had come straight from the streets.

As Jahill's words rang through my ears, I prayed again for Desi, our 19-year-old "son" here.  He can stay in school until he is 21, and I hope that he does.  Because if he doesn't, what in the world is going to happen to him?  Jahill prayed fervently for him after we talked, and my heart joined his faith-filled prayers.

I asked God to prepare me to come back, to ready me for the doorbell rings, for the kids that would sit on my porch, for the men and women who would ask us for help.

I was full of faith and ready to go!  Sort of.

Tonight.  Celebrating USA wins in soccer and in water polo and in the decathalon.  Eating ice cream.  Kicking back.  It's my relax time, after all.  11 p.m.  Olympics are over, Hoffbeast is asleep, our visiting friend leaves, I need to clean the kitchen and do a couple more things before heading to bed.  Rex can't sleep, so I tell him again about counting sheep, give more goodnight kisses and hugs, and he's off to sleepy land.  Sighs of solitude and the end of a good day.

And then...11:26 p.m.

I know that the doorbell ringing is likely Desi.  And I think about not answering.  But I can't not answer.  I'm awake and it's raining pretty hard and the boy who calls me "Ma" is standing on my front porch.

"I was gonna see if you could take me home," he starts, just after Rex groggily walked down the stairs yet again to see what was going on.

Really?  You're going to show up at 11:30 p.m. and ask me to do something for you??!  Where are the boundaries?????!!!?!

So I wake up the Hub and ask if I should do it, and the rain becomes the deciding factor.  And I am stern with Desi and his friend when we get in the van and let him know that if he comes over after 10 p.m. once school starts--and if the doorbell wakes the kids up--I will be very unhappy and the answer will certainly be "No!"

And we drive.  And laugh.  And silly argue about cell phones and egos, like children and parents do.

And he says, "Thanks" and "I love you" as he gets out of the van.

And I thank God for providing Virgil as a friend and allowing Virgil's mom to say that yes, Desi could live with them for awhile since his home life is such a chaotic situation.

And on the radio, Calling Glory is telling me to not give up and the David Crowder Band is reminding me of oh, how He loves us.

And I pull up to the house and remember my prayer, that God would ready me for the door bells.

I could have stayed home, watched late night Olympics and gone to bed a wee bit earlier.  But instead, I got to show Christ's love to a young man who desperately needs to see his need and who desperately needs to know his worth--and more importantly, His worth.

Thank you, Lord, for loving people in the city way more than I do.  If you are pleased to do so, use me to love people like you do, even when it's hard or uncomfortable or just plain inconvenient. 

And, please, ready me for the door bells.

Home...for now

We're home.  Gone for nearly two weeks.  Many conversations.  Lots of people.  Heart involvement...and yet rest.  I sit at home on my family room couch, ceiling fan cooling the air, Olympics filling the sound space.  My attempt at breaking my writer's block was promptly met with, well...many conversations, lots of people, and heart involvement (and a little rest).

So.....a little late-nite stream of consciousness for you, my faithful readers (all 3 of you).  :)

The Olympics are great, as usual.  This year has been weird for me, though, as I am used to camping out by the tv every night for 2 weeks.  This year, we were at our staff conference, and we were only able to catch a tad bit of the action here, a little bit more there.  The late night replay, however, is allowing me a rare glimpse at an entire event that I had wanted to see:  uneven bars final.  (Too bad I already heard who didn't win....grrrr.)

Our conference was great.  My favorite part was, of course, spending time with people, catching up on life and exchanging encouragements.  Some of my favorite people are on staff with our ministry, and I feel blessed each time I am with them.  In addition, I was able to spend time with a few of my dear friends who aren't on staff but who live in the area.  Blessing upon blessing as we laughed and cried together.

I am distracted by the uneven bars.

One of the testimonies given at our conference rocked my world.  A young man named Jahill had been a wreck, doing everything he could to defy a God that he believed couldn't possibly care.  And then said God got ahold of Jahill's heart.  And now, he is walking with the Lord and sharing the Gospel in powerful ways with other young men in the inner city who are now where he was then.  Afterwards, I was able to spend time talking with him, sharing my heart about seemingly-hopeless situations here in our city.  He was compassionate and he opened the Word and he prayed.  I'm thankful for this man and reinvigorated with the reality that Jesus is truly the only hope for our city.  But He is in us, so the possibilities are endless as His people take Him onto the streets and into the office buildings here!

The Chinese gymnasts look really young.  Seriously.

That last big paragraph seems really Polliana.  It's not.  It's real.  Jesus is real and He is here, and we, His people, get to be His ambassadors and the Gate Beautiful for the people around us.  But. it. will. not. be. easy.  There is a spiritual battle raging daily.  The enemy wants to attack relationships--marriages, friendships, work relationships--and isolate people so that he can do what he does best...lie.  He wants to pit believers both against one another and against those who don't know Him so that he can do what he does best...lie. 

Enough about him.  I wanna make more of Jesus.  In my life, in the lives of my kids, in ministry.  I must decrease; He must increase.

(I feel like I'm sounding Polliana again, but that last part is all Scripture, so I think I'll go with it.  Eyes of faith, baby.)

The reality is that my heart has been pummeled by heavy things this summer.  And I'm still dealing with the effects.  But just as real (even more real, really) are the realities that God is on the throne, that He loves me with an everlasting love, and that He is for me.  Thankful am I.

I love my children.  And my husband.  My kids make me laugh, and every day I have a million things to record, yet I rarely get any recorded at all....except in my heart--which, I suppose, is the best place for them to be.

Gabby Douglas is up.  I'm out.

Trusting in the True Keymaster

My Redeemer Lives, by Nicole C. Mullen.
Starry Night, by Chris August.
Some other awesome worship songs I can't remember right now.

What do these have in common?  They were all playing on the radio, one right after the other, as I was driving up to Indianapolis to be with my mom and dad at the hospital tonight.  And they were each, in their own way, one at a time, helping tune my heart to the heart of God.  Perspective, Truth, Reminders of His Sovereignty, Goodness, Faithfulness, and Power.  All very much needed right now.

Dad is in congestive heart failure and today, kidney failure.  It doesn't look good.

Yet tonight, his numbers look much better, his blood pressure is up and potassium is down, and he is talking a little bit more.  It's looking kind of good.  Okay, maybe not good, but definitely better.

While watching him lie there, I was reminded of just how desperate we all are.  The doctors can do what they can; the medicine can help in this way or that; tests can be done; nurses can be called.  But God--the Great Physician Himself--holds the keys to life and death.  He is God of all....He is Everything.

And we have given our lives to Him, the only One who makes the moon reflect the sun, who designed every single starry night, who designed our amazing bodies in such a way that the heart will create its own tiny tributaries where the arteries aren't functioning.  He is the One on whom we cast our cares, our fears, our doubts.  He holds them all right there in His hands, and He never tires of His children crying out.

This is not what I had planned for this week, but there is no place I'd rather be.

The doctors reminded us today that he is very sick.  God has reminded me today that He is very able.  There is no question in my mind that Dad will be healed...I just don't know yet whether it will be here or There.

Evening Musings...

It's early on a Saturday morning.  Early as in 2:27 a.m.  Not that abnormal for the old Hoffbeauty, but the new me--I'm going to bed much earlier now.  Unless it's a Friday night....then I stay up as long as I want!  Granted, tomorrow (this) morning, I need to be up and ready to go by around 9 a.m., but there's always time for sleep catchup later.  For now, the quiet night...space to read, write, watch Netflix, and maybe, finally, blog a little.

Today was a wonderful day, especially when compared with yesterday.  I started my day with a crazy dream about Jeff and his John-the-Baptist tendencies (In my dream, he wanted us to eat bugs!), but when I finally got myself out of bed and down to my favorite chair...the one I'm sitting in now...I had a really wonderful time with the Lord, and my day started off a lot different than...well...when I haven't.

You see, I have been struggling with anger.  Anger toward my kids, my husband, myself.  My inabilities have nearly overtaken me sometimes.  My failures have seemed paramount.  My flaws have glared at me in the face.  It hasn't been pretty.

But today, as I sat with Jesus and began my BSF study of Acts, I was reminded of the work that His Holy Spirit can do--and wants to do--in and through me!  A simple morning reallignment really truly did seem to make all the difference today.  It's not as if the day was perfect, and it's not as if I didn't begin to lose my temper here and there.  But when I messed up, the forgiveness that is There was easier to receive.  And when things didn't go as I had hoped, Calm ruled.  It was marvelous.

Jesus, I need you.  E-ver-y mo-ment.  Holy Spirit, empower me and remind me and teach me and guide me.  Father, thank you for sending your Son and your Spirit after Him.  God, I WORSHIP YOU, for You are holy, mighty, righteous, and all that I need.

I am reading a book right now called From Fear to Freedom.  Yes, it's taken me about six years to read it.  But now that I'm almost done, it was worth the wait.  In it, Rose Marie Miller talks about a time when a pastor's wife admitted her anger and asked Rose Marie what she should do about it.  Miller replied with something like, "I don't know a lot about these things, but I think what should you do has something to do with not trying to earn your own record anymore and accepting what Jesus has already done for you."  It seemed too simple at first, and if I'm honest, it seems too simple to me, too.  I rather like the idea that when I make a tasty, healthy, and otherwise-satisfying meal for my husband, I have earned just a little bit of a good wife righteousness.  Or that when my children behave as well as they did today at the library, I have earned just even a smidgen of successful mom righteousness.

But all this is idolatry and should be damned.  I need nothing......nothing.........NOTHING......BUT JESUS.  His righteousness alone can satisfy the perfection required of me.  His righteousness.  Alone.

Jesus plus nothing.  Amen.

And then there was morning...a blessed Resurrection Sunday!

Low in the grave he lay, Jesus my Savior,
Waiting the coming day, Jesus my Lord!

Up from the grave he arose!
With a mighty triumph o'er his foes,
He arose a victor from the dark domain,
And he lives forever, with his saints to reign.
He arose! He arose! Hallelujah, Christ arose!

Vainly they watch his bed, Jesus my Savior,
Vainly they seal the dead, Jesus my Lord.

Up from the grave he arose!
With a mighty triumph o'er his foes,
He arose a victor from the dark domain,
And he lives forever, with his saints to reign.
He arose! He arose! Hallelujah, Christ arose!

Death cannot keep its prey, Jesus my Savior;
He tore the bars away, Jesus my Lord.

Up from the grave he arose!
With a mighty triumph o'er his foes,
He arose a victor from the dark domain,
And he lives forever, with his saints to reign.
He arose! He arose! Hallelujah, Christ arose!

(Music and lyrics by Robert Lowry)

The Long Saturday

What was it like, the Long Saturday between your death and your rising day? It must have been just....awful. A sickness, an aching--deep in the gut--for your friends and your followers. They had watched, solemn and confused, as you had been betrayed by one of your own, arrested for no reason, beaten by brutes with weapons that tore your flesh from the bone. They had muscled their way through the crowds to catch a glimpse of you as you struggled under the weight of the cross you were being forced to carry to what would be your crucifixion site. They had stared, not quite believing what they were seeing. Their King, their Messiah, Yeshua--Yahweh is Salvation--was there before them on a Roman cross....dying.

And then, it was finished. Darkness had set in, the earth had trembled. There was silence. And they hadn't known what to do.

Did they just hang their heads and go home, dazed at the events that had just unfolded? Did they gather together and weep? Did they strategize about what was next? Did they talk it out, or turn inward and say nothing?

They must have been so confused. So terrified. So...confused.

Had they been able to sleep? I mean, how do you sleep with all of those thoughts swirling around in your head? On the other hand, they were probably exhausted--many of them had been up for much of the night before.

And then came Saturday. It was the Sabbath. It must have been the longest Sabbath Day of their lives. I'll bet that their "rest" that day wasn't very restful.

How painful that day must have been! How do you just "move on"? How do you get past the visible images that were seered into your brain? How do you forget the cries of agony that you had heard the day before?

I don't think many of them moved on well that day. Maybe at moments, there had been glimpses of hope. But I'll bet, by nightfall, they were absolutely heartsick and thoroughly...confused. And not knowing what to do next.

The women knew of one tiny thing that they could do for their Lord. Prepare the spices. And I would guess that it was with half great resolve, half dejected duty, that they got them ready before once again collapsing into bed. By then, I'm sure they were so tired, and at first sign of daylight, they would need to be up and ready to go. I'll bet it was an early night for them.....and another long one.

But then came morning.

Eyes and Ears - The Beauty of the Darkest Day

Here are the words to The Power of the Cross, written by Keith Getty.

These words tell a bit about The Story of the Great Rescue, written by God.

Thank you, God, for music that stirs the heart and lyrics that point the soul to the Story--and to the Maker.

______________________________


Oh, to see the dawn
Of the darkest day:
Christ on the road to Calvary.
Tried by sinful men,
Torn and beaten, then
Nailed to a cross of wood.

This, the pow'r of the cross:
Christ became sin for us;
Took the blame, bore the wrath—
We stand forgiven at the cross.

Oh, to see the pain
Written on Your face,
Bearing the awesome weight of sin.
Ev'ry bitter thought,
Ev'ry evil deed
Crowning Your bloodstained brow.

This, the pow'r of the cross:
Christ became sin for us;
Took the blame, bore the wrath—
We stand forgiven at the cross.

Now the daylight flees;
Now the ground beneath
Quakes as its Maker bows His head.
Curtain torn in two,
Dead are raised to life;
"Finished!" the vict'ry cry.

This, the pow'r of the cross:
Christ became sin for us;
Took the blame, bore the wrath—
We stand forgiven at the cross.

Oh, to see my name
Written in the wounds,
For through Your suffering I am free.
Death is crushed to death;
Life is mine to live,
Won through Your selfless love.

This, the pow'r of the cross:
Son of God—slain for us.
What a love! What a cost!
We stand forgiven at the cross.

Eyes and Ears - The Litany of Penitence

Today in my email, a message from Judy Douglass, wife of Campus Crusade for Christ President, Steve Douglass.  Such an encouraging and convicting way to start my morning!

"Last year about this time I discovered this beautiful prayer/confession from the Book of Common Prayer.  It is powerful in helping me to get my heart right before the Lord.  I hope you will spend a little time with the Lord praying through The Litany of Penitence.  May He meet you with wonderful mercy and grace."

The Litany of Penitence

Most holy and merciful Father:
We confess to you and to one another,
and to the whole communion of saints
in heaven and on earth,
that we have sinned by our own fault
in thought, word, and deed;
by what we have done, and by what we have left undone.

We have not loved you with our whole heart, and mind, and strength. We have not loved our neighbors as ourselves. We have not forgiven others, as we have been forgiven.

Have mercy on us, Lord.

We have been deaf to your call to serve, as Christ served us. We have not been true to the mind of Christ. We have grieved your Holy Spirit.

Have mercy on us, Lord.

We confess to you, Lord, all our past unfaithfulness: the pride, hypocrisy, and impatience of our lives,

We confess to you, Lord.

Our self-indulgent appetites and ways, and our exploitation of other people,

We confess to you, Lord.

Our anger at our own frustration, and our envy of those more fortunate than ourselves,

We confess to you, Lord.

Our intemperate love of worldly goods and comforts, and our dishonesty in daily life and work,

We confess to you, Lord.

Our negligence in prayer and worship, and our failure to commend the faith that is in us,

We confess to you, Lord.

Accept our repentance, Lord, for the wrongs we have done: for our blindness to human need and suffering, and our indifference to injustice and cruelty,

Accept our repentance, Lord.

For all false judgments, for uncharitable thoughts toward our neighbors, and for our prejudice and contempt toward those who differ from us,

Accept our repentance, Lord.

For our waste and pollution of your creation, and our lack of concern for those who come after us,

Accept our repentance, Lord.

Restore us, good Lord, and let your anger depart from us;

Favorably hear us, for your mercy is great.

Accomplish in us the work of your salvation,

That we may show forth your glory in the world.

By the cross and passion of your Son our Lord,

Bring us with all your saints to the joy of his resurrection.

Almighty God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who desires not the death of sinners, but rather that they may turn from their wickedness and live, has given power and commandment to his ministers to declare and pronounce to his people, being penitent, the absolution and remission of their sins. He pardons and absolves all those who truly repent, and with sincere hearts believe his holy Gospel.

Therefore we beseech him to grant us true repentance and his Holy Spirit, that those things may please him which we do on this day, and that the rest of our life hereafter may be pure and holy, so that at the last we may come to his eternal joy; through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Amen.