Rex and Neil...by the Numbers

Rex at 9 years...

Height:  4'1"
Weight:  51 lbs.

I think the nurse said that he was around the 5th or 10th %ile for both.

Neil at 6 years...

Height:  4' even
Weight:  56.4 lbs.

90th %ile for both.

Rex has long since been passed up in the weight category, but he maintains his edge in the height category...by an inch.  And Neil still has two more years before he is allowed to sit in the front seat, so Rex has him there...and he likes it.

What stands out about...

...Rex?
Rex is smart, clever, and eager to share stories and jokes and tidbits and facts....all the time!  He still loves his mama and even admitted last night that the song I used to sing to him every night as a baby still soothes him (I still sing it every now and then, and last night, I was playing it on the piano.).  When his attitude is on, we can scuffle for sure.  He is sarcastic and witty with his words--sometimes at the wrong times.  But when it's just us, him and me, it is still wonderful.  I hold his face in my hands and kiss him in all the ways we do--eye kiss, glasses kiss, Aunt Becky kiss, butterfly kiss, chin kiss--and any problems of the day go away.  Last night, we snuggled in my favorite chair under a blanket, and I read a chapter from a book to him--that hardly ever happens anymore, because he always reads for himself--it was wonderful!  All too soon, he will grow up and likely not want that close time with me anymore...I could cry just thinking about that, so I will stop.  I love him so much.

...Neil?
Neil is enthusiastic about everything--playing football with Dad, wrestling with whomever, doing math flashcards, eating...even, on occasion, about doing his chores.  My favorite chore days are when he decides to say, "Oh, that's easy-peasy lemon-squeezy!"  That always goes over better than his more-often favorite line:  "This will take forever!"  We still have lots of discipline/behavior issues with Neil, but in this moment, all I can think of are the good reports I've gotten about him in the last few days--from my friend who took him to a birthday party, from the Saturday night babysitter, from his teacher yesterday:  "Neil is doing an awesome job!"  And last night, as he easily put down 2 full plates of the salad I made for dinner...rarely do I get complaints from him about food--that's nice, as the other 2 English-speakers almost never like what I make.  Neil is my guy, and I tell him so often.  He is strong, sweet, and fast.  And have I mentioned that he is READING??!  I am so happy about how he is doing at school...praise God!

...Beth?
Beth is my precious little girl......oh, my love love!  How I still melt around her!  Ever since Beth was born, it's been hard for me to get enough of her, and it's true--she sort of has me wrapped around her finger.  But what can a mama do?  She's my girl!!  I am so, so proud of Beth right now because....she is now wearing underwear!!  She started going underwear-only on Sunday morning, and so far, so good.  At night, when she needs to go potty, she comes in, tells me, and after we go to the potty, she is rewarded with 5 minutes (or lots of the time, the rest of the night) of snuggling with Mama and Daddy.  She still loves her biki (or "blankie" which she now calls it) but told me the other day that she doesn't need them anymore.  She has two--a pink one and a yellow one--but says that she will save them for her babies that she will have someday (and she rubs her tummy).  I told her that she has to grow up and marry a handsome prince first.  She closes her eyes, raises her arms in a dance-like motion, and asks, "Will my daddy dance with me?!"  I told her that yes, he will.  She and Daddy dance when he puts her to bed and she is wearing one of her "dancing dresses"--one of her two nightgowns.  Beth has a tiny little voice that matches her tiny little frame....such a sweet girl.  (Not to say that she doesn't throw fits here and there--she is three, after all!)

...Tom?
When I close my eyes and think of Tom, all I can see is his huge smile!  He absolutely can light up a room with it!  And that giggle!!!  If you've ever wanted to bottle up a child's giggle--his would be it!  He is strong and brave and fun....and just a wee bit mischievous.  His favorite book--by far--is Llama Llama Misses Mama, and we read it every single day, usually more than once.  But it's come in handy, as I've dropped him off at Bible study and at the nursery at church and have been able to remind him that Mama Llama always comes back.  When we get to that page in the book, he smiles and laughs, and when I step back into his childcare room after being away for awhile, the same smile and laugh is there.  And he runs toward me, arms wide open, just like Llama does.  It is precious!  The mischievous would be funny if it weren't so messy so much of the time--yesterday he locked himself in the bathroom, pulled out half of the Lysol wipes from the container, and "cleaned" the bathroom--and himself!  When we got to him, he was rubbing them all over his face--yuck!  I won't be surprised if there is a rash all over his face today!  But for all his messes and curious behavior, we wouldn't trade him for the world--he is amazing and we are so lucky and blessed that he is OURS!

Our Cramazing May, Episode X

The month we received Tom's referral back in 2009, an online adoption friend traveled with her husband and their photographer friend to India, where they met their daughter.  At the beginning of the trip, their friend took at picture of them walking underneath the India flags in the international terminal at O'Hare.  On their way home, there was another picture taken, only this time, they were walking the opposite direction and had their daughter with them.

As soon as I knew that we were flying through O'Hare, I knew that I wanted to duplicate those pictures. 

In the end, it didn't quite work out, as we ended up flying home separately (see Episode LXXXIV or so), but I'm still glad that I got the pictures on the front end.  Incidentally, we were in this same terminal on April 8, the day that we learned that we had gotten written guardianship, but also the day that we had canceled Hoffbeast's ticket to fly straight to India from Turkey.  On that day, his flight to Chicago had been canceled due to weather, so we had to drive him there ourselves.  We had said goodbye to Daddy right underneath the India flags, and little did we know that it would be just 5 short weeks later that we would be back again, ready to fly to our son...those weeks seemed really long, though.  Here's Daddy with his 3 kiddos in April....to look at this picture now, it feels so obvious that we were missing an important little person!



Back to May, once we got through security, we walked to our gate and had plenty of time for a snack and a bathroom break.  I opted for a McDonald's Coke knowing, of course, that it would be my last one for awhile.  Hoffbeast and Rex went for Starbucks, lemon-poppyseed cake and a cranberry scone...yum!

It was at O'Hare that I found the much-loved, well-traveled, went-with-us-everywhere-on-the-trip-and-entertained-every-child-with-which-it-came-in-contact book, Where's Waldo?  Rex L-O-V-E-S that book, and even now, when Tom sees it, a big smile crosses his face.  It was the perfect find; I am quite proud of myself for that one.  It was one of those things where I thought, "Should I buy that?  It could be useful."  In the end, I can't imagine Rex's trip without it.  Really funny to think back to the places where that book went.  The favorite memory popping to my head now?  When we were in Agra, visiting the Taj Mahal, our guide took us to a beautiful jewelry shop where they were high-pressure salesing us.  The merchandise was amazing, but there was just no financial way, so we spent the whole time trying to convince them why we Americans couldn't afford to buy their wares.  I glance behind me in the middle of all this, and there is Rex, sitting in the middle of the store with one of the employees, showing him the Where's Waldo? book, with the employee pointing and laughing at the book.  Where's Waldo? bridges any language barrier!  Total comic relief...hilarious!



The plane we took to England looked something like this...



And, interestingly enough, this seemed like an important picture to take.  It would be awhile before we saw public bathrooms that were this nice again.  Mind you, the Delhi airport is nice, don't get me wrong, but the O'Hare bathrooms were super clean and germ-free....we certainly never saw self-rotating toilet seat covers while in India!

While at O'Hare, I got this message from my dear friend, Andrea...."Hello!  I at least wanted to be able to leave you a message.  I'm assuming since it did not go straight to voicemail that you are still in country...we just wanted to call and say 'whooooooohoooooooo!'...going to India to get your son, going to India to get your son, going to India to get your son, we are so excited!...N and I just wanted to say that we are praying for you, praying for a safe trip, praying for Tom and just that it would be an awesome reunion of Mom and Dad to their long lost son, although he's not been lost; he's just not been with you, and you've not met him before, so it's not really a reunion, but he's yours, so, you know.  Yeah, just really, really stoked for you.  Can't wait to meet him.  So, I pray that your time is just...so good and is really fun getting to know him and seeing his birthplace.....So, we'll definitely try to check the blog and check for updates.  Love you, friend!"  Then she proceeds to try to get N to say his famous "Bye!"  Can you tell that she was excited??! 

It's how we felt, too!  I smiled from ear to ear when I heard the message because I knew that it represented so many other people who were praying and were also excited for and with us.  Many had followed our process for the two years before, and people were ready for us to go and get him....and so were we!

Neil's favorite thing about school...

Isn't this fantastic?  This from the kid who can't get enough of anything having to do with a ball.  When he could have picked recess, he picked MATH.

Fantastic!  A wee bit surprising, but completely fantastic.

Evening Musings...

It's early on a Saturday morning.  Early as in 2:27 a.m.  Not that abnormal for the old Hoffbeauty, but the new me--I'm going to bed much earlier now.  Unless it's a Friday night....then I stay up as long as I want!  Granted, tomorrow (this) morning, I need to be up and ready to go by around 9 a.m., but there's always time for sleep catchup later.  For now, the quiet night...space to read, write, watch Netflix, and maybe, finally, blog a little.

Today was a wonderful day, especially when compared with yesterday.  I started my day with a crazy dream about Jeff and his John-the-Baptist tendencies (In my dream, he wanted us to eat bugs!), but when I finally got myself out of bed and down to my favorite chair...the one I'm sitting in now...I had a really wonderful time with the Lord, and my day started off a lot different than...well...when I haven't.

You see, I have been struggling with anger.  Anger toward my kids, my husband, myself.  My inabilities have nearly overtaken me sometimes.  My failures have seemed paramount.  My flaws have glared at me in the face.  It hasn't been pretty.

But today, as I sat with Jesus and began my BSF study of Acts, I was reminded of the work that His Holy Spirit can do--and wants to do--in and through me!  A simple morning reallignment really truly did seem to make all the difference today.  It's not as if the day was perfect, and it's not as if I didn't begin to lose my temper here and there.  But when I messed up, the forgiveness that is There was easier to receive.  And when things didn't go as I had hoped, Calm ruled.  It was marvelous.

Jesus, I need you.  E-ver-y mo-ment.  Holy Spirit, empower me and remind me and teach me and guide me.  Father, thank you for sending your Son and your Spirit after Him.  God, I WORSHIP YOU, for You are holy, mighty, righteous, and all that I need.

I am reading a book right now called From Fear to Freedom.  Yes, it's taken me about six years to read it.  But now that I'm almost done, it was worth the wait.  In it, Rose Marie Miller talks about a time when a pastor's wife admitted her anger and asked Rose Marie what she should do about it.  Miller replied with something like, "I don't know a lot about these things, but I think what should you do has something to do with not trying to earn your own record anymore and accepting what Jesus has already done for you."  It seemed too simple at first, and if I'm honest, it seems too simple to me, too.  I rather like the idea that when I make a tasty, healthy, and otherwise-satisfying meal for my husband, I have earned just a little bit of a good wife righteousness.  Or that when my children behave as well as they did today at the library, I have earned just even a smidgen of successful mom righteousness.

But all this is idolatry and should be damned.  I need nothing......nothing.........NOTHING......BUT JESUS.  His righteousness alone can satisfy the perfection required of me.  His righteousness.  Alone.

Jesus plus nothing.  Amen.

Here I sit again...

It's been over six months since I wrote this post.  And here I sit again.  Same Starbuck's, different chair.  Venti instead of grande, but pretty much the same except for that.  The same except for a few other things...

...we are back in our house.  Yes, 6 months ago, we were still "homeless", living with our friends while our boiler/radiators were fixed. 

...my friend is in a better place.  Still not easy.  Still not great all the time.  But better.  And our friendship is better, too.

...we've been to India and back!  This one is just a tiny, teeny, minor change for us.  Not.  It's one of the biggest changes to ever happen to our family.  We prayed that God would prepare our son, and He DID!  Amazing.  Amazing to me, every time I ponder it.  How could he be so ready?!  I look at pictures of him from before we met him, and.....well, it's just a strange feeling that only an adoptive mama can know.  To feel like you knew your child so well (even though you'd never met) and yet at the same time to feel like he was so far away and you didn't know him at all.

Life is full.  And busy.  And tiring.  And really, really great.  I am thankful....

...but it's not all easy.  I've been struggling in some ways....not in ways that Jesus can't handle, though.  Praise God because, in truth, there have been and are real moments when feel that I am at the end of my rope.  But it's a good place to be.  God is my strength, and He is reminding me of this reality that I so often forget. 

I am blessed, and I am grateful.  I am needy, and I am graced.

Thank you, Jesus.

So much on my mind...

...with so little time to put in all into words.