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I chose this one tonight. Our glory babies are never far from this mama's heart...

Baby Hunt

Ten years ago right about now, our beautiful son, Hunt, entered the world. He was 5 lbs, 8 oz and perfect...but our hearts were broken because the LORD had called him Home. I'm so thankful to know that Jesus understands grief and wept with us as we wept for the loss of our baby. God was faithful, and as we entered the next few days of uncertainty and weeks and months of intense sadness, He held us tight, always offering the promise of His never-ending presence...thank you, Lord, for the years of mercy and gifts of grace that have followed that bittersweet day. Mama loves you, Hunt, and I look so forward to the day when I will see your sweet face again...for now, I just have to wait and continue to entrust you to His very safe arms. God is good...even in this...and we praise His name forever and ever!

Remembering Trena

This is a big week for us...tomorrow is the 10th anniversary of the day our son, Hunt, went to be with the Lord. But the memories start before that day...just a few days before Hunt died, our dear friend, Trena, had gone Home and had been given a new, cancer-free body. We praised Him even as we grieved. Then, that morning, as we heard the words and knew their meaning that would forever change us, we remembered that she was There. I don't know exactly how Heaven works, but it sure was wonderful to think of Trena taking Hunt onto her lap and laughing as she told him stories about his daddy. We would name our son after my dad...and after Trena. Just a few years before, she and Dave had been a rock for us as we walked through our engagement, and on the day we married, Trena was right by my side, keeping me calm and making sure I was all ready. My heart is full of beautiful memories when I remember this dear friend...you are still very missed, Trena Weier! Can't wait to see you again...

Beauti-FALL

These are the burning bushes at the corner of our house...thanks to Jeff and Jamie Pytlinski for blessing us with them after Hunt passed away and to Greg and Marcia Lilley for helping us get them planted all those years ago...they are now mature enough that we can really enjoy their beauty and remember His grace when we do.

Glory Babies

Nine years ago today was the funeral for our dear little Hunt. Today, we visited his grave and together with our family, memorialized both him and his little brother, Aaron, who is now rejoicing in Heaven with him. August 8 will always be a special day for our family, remembering our two precious boys who are with Jesus...

Someday I will write about our little family memorial service.  Not now, but someday.  It was beautiful and special, and I am filled with gratitude to the Lord for His mercy and His good gifts.

Revisited - July 15, 2004

The doctor came in with the ultrasound machine.  I never looked at the screen, but turned my head to the left and alternately closed my eyes and looked at my husband and my friend.  I already knew, but their faces confirmed.  Death had visited my womb, and our son was gone.  Whisked away to the arms of Heaven, away from fear, pain, doubt, confusion, and all the vestiges of this sin-stained world.  Amidst the tears, there was grace.  Grace to trust God….I remember thanking Him by faith, for this was His will for us in Christ Jesus.  I didn’t have to understand it or like it or want it.  I didn’t, didn’t, and didn’t, but by His grace—only by His grace— I could choose in that moment to trust.  We turned to each other almost immediately, and it was as if we were thinking the same thing:  Trena, our friend who had gone Home just four days before, was there and could greet him as he entered Heaven.  She could take him on her lap and tell him all about us—especially lots of stories about his silly daddy whom he would have to wait to meet.  To this day, that remains a beautiful picture to me…we loved Trena so much, and it was obvious that we would name him after her.  We had wrestled with that third name so much during those eight months, and now we knew what it was to be….Trenard.

I look at your picture now, and I can still feel the skin on my finger against your face.  I loved touching your body, holding your shell….it wasn’t you, but since it was all I had, it was wonderful…as wonderful as could be, considering the pain.  I never would have called it wonderful then, because I was so sad, but from where I sit now, with only a memory…it was wonderful.  Even then, by the grace of God, I had a bit of perspective.  Not as much as now, mind you, but some.  You were safe and would never have to live in this broken place.  You were whole and would never have to be teased or deal with the crushing blows of rejection.  You were healthy, and nothing and no one could hurt you.

I miss you, Hunt.  You are my gift, and I can’t wait to hold you again.