Happy Littles!

Today, I told them that they are a little like twins.  Such best buds, every since their first meeting.  On Tom's birthday last week, we were discussing best friends, and they both easily said that each other was the very best.  Today's giggles were a testimony to their enjoyment of each other, and I am so grateful that they will be in school together in the fall.  One shy, one definitely not shy.  One with a big, gregarious personality, one with a (mostly) quiet, sweet personality.  

Both with the best hugs and snuggle capacity a mama could ever want.

Caringbridge - 24 weeks

Hi, everyone!  I have reached the all-important 24 weeks, and I want to thank each one of you again for the ways that you have reached out to us, prayed for us, made us laugh, taken care of our children during my many doctors appointments, brought us meals, etc.

My appointment last Friday was with the perinatologist, but for the first time, I was able to see a different peri than the one I've been seeing, and I'm not gonna lie....it was great!  Hoffbeast and I both really liked him and were so appreciative of his concern.  For example, he actually asked me, "So, how are you feeling?"  Seems like an easy question and one that a doctor would readily ask, but Dr. W just never goes there.  That's just not his way.  We have gotten to know him enough that we have accepted it, but it sure was nice to have a change.  Apparently, you just see whatever peri is on the schedule that day; since my appointments are always on Fridays, I will continue to see whatever doc is there on Friday of that particular week.  Let's hope Dr. M is there next time again.

Dr. W had explained awhile ago that at 24 weeks, the risks for this pregnancy begin to drop.  Our son, Bart, has made it now far enough that if he were to be born, he could likely survive with the help of the amazing neonatal intensive care units that are available to us.  Here in Milwaukee, we have the #4 Children's Hospital in the nation, and the hospital where I will deliver has a Level 1 NICU.  In addition, our closest hospital, in the case of an emergency, also has a Level 1, and our dear friend, Megan, is a nurse in the NICU there.

That is not to say that we are ready to meet him yet!  We are hoping that we can make it to at least 30 weeks, as that will ensure that Bart has a much better chance at not only surviving, but thriving in life.

Baby Aaron....oh, I love him.  Yes, I do.  Whenever we get to see the boys on the ultrasound screen, it is a joy.  I watched Bart move and stretch and kick, and my heart swelled.  I can't wait to meet him, to hold him, to get to kiss his little cheeks.  And then the picture moved to Aaron, and I'm telling you...my heart swelled again.  I felt such love for him, just like I had felt upon seeing Bart.  He is tiny, and he will not survive without a miracle, but for now, there is still blood flowing to his little body, and I am enjoying every moment with him.  And I can't wait to meet him, too, and to hold him and kiss his little cheeks.  It might be soon, or it might be in eternity, but it will happen....oh, I'm so thankful!

One of the risks that we are facing is that often in this kind of pregnancy, excess amniotic fluid develops.  If this should happen, I will need to have an amniocentisis every other week or so to remove fluid.  Let's just say that I would rather not have to undergo that.  So please pray that my fluid levels would stay in the normal range.  Of course, we are also watching my blood pressure, and as soon as I hit around 28 weeks, I will begin more intensive monitoring.

For those of you in Milwaukee who have babysat during my appointments, thank you!  I would like to give a special thanks to Karlin, Lisa, Lisa, and Nicole for serving us in that way, as well as to my teammates Kara, Bridget, Andrea, Cheryl, Anna, and Katharine for helping with so many around-the-house and babysitting/driving kids odds and ends.

Soon, I will be having twice-a-week appointments, so I probably need to find some other people who can watch my littles here and there...don't want to wear out our welcome with the 4 ladies I mentioned above.  ;)  If anyone else is willing (Sam, you're on the list--thank you!), please let me know.

Today, I went to Sam's Club and purchased a deep freezer (Thank you, Mom and Dad!), so once that is delivered, I can begin to stock it up with meals...that will be great!  Hopefully I won't need to be hospitalized at the previously-suggested June 19-ish date, but we will have to wait and see...I plan to ask my midwife about that one when I see her tomorrow.  Either way, it will be good to have meals frozen and ready to go for whenever they are needed.  I think a meal list will be made at some point for anyone who wants to help in that way.

Thank you again.......for everything.  We are all very grateful.

Caringbridge - 23 Weeks (and counting)

Here I am again, sitting down at my computer, trying to figure out how to answer that question I am asked again and again, "How are you doing, Sarah?"

First, let me tell you how I'm doing physically....I have gained another 6 pounds, my blood pressure is good, and Bart's heartbeat remains strong.  We will see the perinatologist tomorrow and will get our first in utero glimpse in 4 weeks.  I am hoping that Aaron is still with us, but we will wait and see.  I have been told that travel should stop at 30 weeks (June 5), and I will likely start having NSTs (Non Stress Tests) twice a week, I think, starting at 28 weeks or so.  Sleeping isn't so easy, but that's sort of to be expected.  I have a couple of great sleep nights a week, but most are spent tossing and turning a lot more than I'm used to.  I still don't enjoy my nightly shots, of course, but I'm getting through that, too...I just remind myself that I'm doing it for my family!

Now for the emotional part...I'm doing okay.  Really, I am.  Jesus is meeting my every need, and for that I am eternally grateful.  I have an amazing family, great friends who have served in countless ways already (and I know that there's more of that ahead!), a big, beautiful, welcoming house, an exciting ministry I get to be a part of...the list goes on.  I am blessed.

And in this hardship, in this reality that we are facing, I am blessed still.

We've been studying Joseph in Bible study, and it's amazing to see how his faith and trust in God was seemingly unshakable.  Hardship after hardship, suffering after suffering.....it didn't change his trust or waver his faith in the work of God.  Over and over, the text in Genesis says that "God was with [Joseph]."

And that, I'm certain, is the Truth to which we must cling--we, meaning all of us....Jeff, me, our kids....and you.  For in reality, hard times come to all of us.  For some, it will be in the realm of childbearing, for others it will be the loss of a job, for a few it will be an explosion that strikes out of nowhere.  Tragedy comes in this broken world...we weren't made for this place, after all; we were made for Another.

But through it all, He has promised never to leave or forsake His children.  So when I am afraid, I remember that His perfect love is what casts out my fear; when I am anxious, I remember that I can't add time to my life by worrying; when I am paralyzed by the unknown, I pray, thank Him for His presence, and walk on.

Our babies--both of them--are precious, both to us and to the God who made them.  What a privilege I have to be their mama and to carry them for now.  Thank you, God, for choosing me for this honor.

Intern Explosion--again!

Last year, I put up pictures of our new HLIC interns and titled it "Intern Explosion".  Here I am again, overjoyed at the fact that the Lord has raised up 13 interns who are assigned to 5 different Cru Inner City city teams....Milwaukee, Minneapolis/St. Paul, Chicago, Los Angeles, and Seattle.  Pictured with me above are all of our interns for next year (7 new and 6 returners) and our 3 intern coaches as well as Janet and Debby, the ladies I get to work with on administration of our intern program.  It was such fun to get to spend this last weekend with them at their kickoff weekend, as they were trained and sent out.  They will report to their respective cities, Lord willing, in September.  Thank you, Father, for raising up these laborers for your harvest in the city!

Caringbridge - 22 weeks

It seems impossible that I'm this far along.  I'm always aware of my pregnancy--that's for sure!--but considering where we were in January, things are going very well, and the concerns have been pushed aside in many respects.  I am so thankful for that.

22 weeks.  Just 2 more weeks, and the risks begin to drop like flies. Amazing.

And yet....the reality of our situation still remains.  One of our babies is doing well while the other is not.  I have been enthusiastically responding to the question of, "Do you know the gender?" with "They are twin boys!"  Because the reality is that I don't know how long we will have both of them, so while we do, we rejoice.

Bart and Aaron still haven't been officially named....the daddy just can't seem to confirm what the mommy already knows.  ;)

My appointment with my OB last week was another good one.  Bart's heart rate was solidly in the 140s, and I have finally started gaining weight!  In fact, in 2 weeks, I had gained 6 pounds!  That's really good considering the fact that it took me to 20 weeks before I had surpassed my pre-pregnancy weight....I just couldn't eat much for so long!

But now....I eat.  I eat often.  I'm at that stage now where the hunger strikes at a moment's notice.  And I must eat.  The other evening, Hoffbeast was heading out the door to run to the store for milk, of which we were completely out.  I needed milk for my night-cap cereal break.  But with coat on and keys in hand, he stopped to talk about something with me.  A few minutes into the conversation, I said, "I need milk."  He smiled and said, "Wow.  You are so done with this conversation, aren't you?"  "Yep," said I.  And out the door went my knight in shining armor........who returned promptly with milk.  :)

The babies are moving around a lot now, and I am enjoying it every single time.  Beth even got to feel a kick yesterday!  It is pretty obvious that Bart is hanging out on my right side, as most of the kicks are centralized there.

There's my most recent update....there's not much else to share, which at this point, is a good thing.

Thank you for praying, and please...don't stop.  I am keenly aware that another complication could arise at any moment.  Last night, while up for my middle-of-the-night trip to the bathroom, I had a terribly sharp pain that was different from any I remember feeling before.  I will be calling the doctor later today, just to let them know.  As soon as I got back to bed, the pain went away, and the babies started moving, so I am assuming that all is well, but anything out of the ordinary is a concern.

Our family appreciates your prayers so much....we are honored that God has chosen to use you in this way.  Thank you for the online comments, the cards, the meals, and the babysitting help, too....His people are joining us, and we are blessed.

Our Cramazing May, Episode XLIX: Doctor's Office and Exploring

Our first morning in Delhi began with breakfast, an easy task in this posh, beautiful hotel.  We were living in the lap of luxury, even compared with the nicest hotels we've stayed in here in the USA.  Everywhere we turned, there were reasons to be thankful that we had ended up at this hotel....a restaurant with delectable food, a mall attached with anything we could possibly need, and simply impeccable service.  The staff at the hotel treated us with such care, and to this day, we still recommend this hotel to any other traveling families.

But that morning, we had work to do!  Before Tom and L were allowed to enter the USA, they were required to have a TB skin test done, a test that required 48 hours between administration and reading.  So promptly at 9:30 a.m. (after falling asleep somewhere in the wee hours of the morning), we had to appear at the doctor's office, armed with paperwork, money for the test, and......7 small passport-sized photographs of the kids.  Oops.  I had forgotten that not-so-minor detail.

We had gotten the name of a driver from a previously-traveling family, but because of our late arrival, we weren't able to hook up with him for this trip.  So we hired 2 automobiles and set out to look for the doctor's office, which we were told was pretty close to the hotel.  Buildings ran together and looked alike, small temples adorning the streets everywhere we looked, but finally we saw signs of a medical clinic, and it became apparent that we had arrived.

One of the first things I noticed upon walking in was the sign on the wall that warned that identifying a baby's gender during an ultrasound was illegal.  I remember that that image wouldn't leave my mind for awhile, a public reminder of the crimes against baby girls rampant throughout the country.  Of course there is a black market for ultrasounds which will tell this news, but at least officially, India is trying to stop the abortion of baby girls for the mere reason that they are girls.  My heart is heavy even now when I think of the atrocity and so sad to know that sweet, innocent girls are discarded simply because of their gender.  I want to adopt a baby girl from India...I'm just sayin'.

Considering all that had happened the previous two days with Rim, I wasn't a bit worried about the outcome of this doctor's visit, but for some reason, the whole task was still a bit daunting.  The "receptionist" was all business--he never smiled, and when he finally addressed us after we had waited for quite some time, he expected us to have everything in order and seemed to be not so happy about the fact that we didn't have pictures.

In fact, I really had forgotten.  It was as if all of the mental energy I had for details had been used up in Orissa, and when we finally arrived in Delhi, I mentally collapsed.  Thankfully, Scott picked up the detail reigns, making all the arrangements with the drivers and taking over at the doctor's office where I couldn't.  Again, Hoffbeast and Karen were in charge of comforting and entertaining the kids....the four of us really made a great team!

We were able to get directions to a shop close by that would take passport pictures of the kids, so we headed out on this new adventure.  Finding the shop was like finding a needle in a haystack, but eventually, we did find it.  It was tiny and crowded, and I was thirsty and not feeling it, so daddy stayed with Tom while Rex and I went on a little walk to find some bottled water.

Our walk turned out to be one of the most "local" few minutes of our time in Delhi.  We strolled, taking in the sights, sounds, and smells, observing while being on guard, aware of how out of place we must have looked. We found a stand that sold water, bought a few bottles, and began heading back.  As we were walking back, Rex asked me about the many temples we were passing, and about that time, we saw a woman enter one to pray.  This temple was only big enough for half a dozen people or so to be inside, and the faith with which she confidently entered made my heart so heavy....why this temple instead of that one?  Why this god instead of the other?  The spiritual poverty and the emptiness held within those four unsturdy walls was impossible to miss.  So Rex and I prayed as we walked....for that particular woman, for the beautiful country our son/brother had come from, for the people there to know the One True God.

When we got back to the shop, the photos were being developed, and we were almost ready to head back to the doctor.  But while Rex and I waited outside, we couldn't miss the two precious little girls who had plopped themselves on the steps of the shop.  At first, I assumed that they were there with a parent, waiting for him to finish his inside-the-shop business.  But soon, it became clear that they were there alone, street children wandering around by themselves, trying to find food to eat and things to do to pass the time.  These girls were maybe 5 and 6 years old...and stunning.  Beautiful, precious little girls....I wanted to scoop them up and take them home, but all we could do was share what we had.  They were happy for the little treats we gave them, and Rex, of course, struck up a conversation with his eyes.  Those girls represent for me all the little boys and girls all over India who live like this....I never want to forget them.

After the photos were developed, we headed back to the doctor's office, where more waiting led to the eventual meeting with the stern but kind doctor, who asked us the basic questions about Tom's health and examined him.  He was curious about why we were choose a boy with amniotic banding to adopt, and we gladly told him of God's provision in bringing him to our family.  He gave Tom the clearance and sent us to the test room, where the TB test was quickly administered, and we were told to return in 2 days for the reading.

The next wait was in the lobby, where we had to wait in a line to pay for the exam/test.  Waiting, waiting, lots of waiting in India!  Finally, we were able to pay and returned to our autos for the trip back to the hotel.  By this time, we were all hungry and very, very exhausted!

I ventured out to the mall with the boys that afternoon while Daddy took a nap, and we found the food court, complete with lots of Indian-inspired American fast-food restaurants.  I'm not gonna lie....I enjoyed it.  I especially enjoyed the random chicken place called something like "Kenny's American Chicken".  I had never heard of it before, but it was the most "American" thing I tasted while in India, and I enjoyed it...a lot.  A few times.

When we got back from lunch, it was my turn for a nap, so Daddy and the boys went exploring.  There was a bad storm outside, but they opened up the 3rd floor roof door anyway, just to look and see what the pool was like.  Hoffbeast told me that there were huge waves in the pool, and shortly after opening the door and just a few feet from where they were standing, part of the facade fell off the side of the building above them and crashed to the ground.  He stood there, staring at the danger that they had just missed....praise God.  Immediately, hotel staff came rushing out, saw the damage, and quickly shooed Hoffbeast and the boys away saying, "You should go inside.  There is a bad storm...the pool is closed!"  Yes, I would say that the pool area would be closed after that!  At next check, all signs of the incident were gone...as if nothing ever happened.  Where is OSHA when you need 'em??!

That evening, Hoffbeast and I chatted in our room and made plans for the next few days while the boys played.  It felt so good to have our boys together forever....and we couldn't wait to get home to introduce Neil and Beth to their new brother, too. But before we could do that, we had to get through two doctor's visits and a very important visit to the Embassy.  There was a lot to do.

Following are scenes from our room that night....fun was being had by this part of our little family, and our hearts were very full.

Our Cramazing May, Episode XLVIII: Arriving in Delhi

The flight was wonderfully uneventful, and upon arrival, we walked out again in the beautiful night air, somewhat in shock about the fact that our time in Orissa was done and that we were actually in Delhi.

We hopped on the shuttle and made our way to the terminal, where we waited to get our luggage and then began the process of figuring out where to go.  It was already quite late, but we didn't have any room reservations yet.  We had been so focused on getting the passports that, to be honest, we figured that we could find a room when we got to Delhi.  God had been in the details so much already, and we knew that He would continue to provide.

But after multiple phone calls and several times being told that the hotels were full, we were starting to get discouraged.  We were all beyond exhausted by this time, but we decided to call one of the hotels back and try again.  It was the hotel that we had originally been planning on going to and that had been recommended highly by a family who had traveled a month or so before us.  I told them that even though they had already said no, I was calling back because this other family had told us that they had taken such good care of them as an adoptive family.  The manager assured me that they had no special deal or anything for adoptive families but that they had heard our plight and had made two rooms available.  We again found ourselves so grateful that God had provided just when we needed it.

The next task was making our way to the hotel which, as it turns out, was not so easy.  We walked outside and negotiated for two small vehicles that would take us to the Hilton Garden Inn Sakat.  Rex went with L and her parents, and Tom was, of course, with me and Hoffbeast.  The drivers assured us that, oh yes, they knew right where that hotel was, which didn't become problematic until a half hour into our drive when, at almost midnight, the cars pulled over to the side of the road, and it became very clear that we were lost.

And did I mention that we didn't have the hotel address on us?  Oops.  And somehow we didn't have the ability to use our cell phones--maybe they were dead or had no reception?  I'm not sure, but whatever it was, this was not a good situation.

I was so tired and almost throwing up my hands.  So we started praying.  We were definitely in a precarious situation....late at night, with a driver who didn't speak English and having no idea where we were supposed to be or how to get there.  Our driver didn't exactly understand what we meant even when we said the hotel's name.  For a few minutes, I was stumped.  All these details and now....we didn't know what to do.

I remember shrugging my shoulders and telling the driver, "I don't know!"  Finally I asked him if I could use his phone and ended up browsing online and finding the address of the hotel.  Once I showed him the address, he figured out the general area, then called when we got close for exact directions.  Turns out that the "Of course we can take you there!" sort of meant, "We want your business.  We'll figure out where we are going once we have you in our cars."

It was well after midnight by the time we arrived, but we were so very happy to finally be there!  Two things stand out about our arrival:  the high security (We had to send all of our luggage through an x-ray machine just like at the airport, and each of us had to be searched as well--each time we walked into the hotel.) and the warm welcome.  The people there were sooooo kind.  I can't say enough about the hospitality we received from the moment we arrived to the time we left several days later.

And our room........it was beautiful.  We did not expect the poshness that met us at this hotel.  Everything about it was lovely and comfortable and just perfect, especially after our cramazing adventure in Orissa.

Guess what we did after we finally got in our room?  We slept.........for hours and hours and hours.

Our Cramazing May, Episode XLVII: The Happiest Moments

So, after much, much, much waiting, praying, wondering, waiting some more, praying a bunch, working it out, and then waiting a lot more, in a moment, everything was moving in warp speed!

After thanking the nice security guard at the guard house outside the passport office for taking our pictures, we moved quickly back to the van, and our driver sped away.  It was now almost 5 p.m., and we had just 2 hours to get to the hotel, throw our stuff in the van, drive a half hour to the airport, buy our tickets, and get on a plane.  That was a lot to do in a very little time.

The drive back to the hotel was a different kind of cramazing.  We couldn't stop looking at the passports, and the smiles wouldn't leave our faces!  I couldn't wait to get back and celebrate with everyone, and I was so excited about seeing the look on Karen's face when Scott gave her the news.  Technology stole my thunder, though, because when we got back, she already knew.  I'm still not sure how she knew, but I think maybe Scott had called ahead to give the hotel a heads-up that we were going to be busting out of there in rapid fashion.

We gave L and Rex the news, and they were ecstatic...it was really cute.  Tom, on the other hand, was just real tired.

While checking out, I couldn't resist snapping this pic of our favorite and most reliable bellhop.  He was always ready to help, and this was no exception!

We ran up to the room and as quickly as possible, got all the luggage back downstairs...

...and shoved into our mini van.  Pretty hysterical as we realized that we had to stuff  luggage for seven people in there...and still fit all of us plus Tuna and the driver in there, too.  Believe me...we didn't care at that point.  In fact, we loved it!  This was the adventure we had been waiting for!

We quick ran back in to say goodbye to our beloved Ginger...

It really was a great place to have to spend five days!

Here are Rex and Karen, stuffed in tight on our ride to the airport!  On the way there, we all laughed and talked and celebrated and rejoiced and just. couldn't. believe it.  At the same time, we were suddenly aware that we were leaving this place that had been home to our children for their whole lives.  As we drove, I tried to take in all the sites of Orissa that were in front of me...

motorcycles everywhere

an official government residence

beautiful drawings adorning the ubiquitous city walls

single women in traditional tunics talking on cell phones

married women in ornate, traditional saris

And then, before we knew it, we were at the airport, facing our next challenge:  buying tickets for the flight to Delhi.  We needed seven tickets, and the plane was near full already.  Scott and I again went into detail mode and approached yet another window, trying to make friends with yet another Oriyan who would become part of our story.  The woman behind the glass was very curious about our adoptions, and she didn't seem to respond well to me but was happy to talk to the tall, male American.  So Scott pulled out the woo and made it happen!  Tickets were purchased...I could hardly believe this was actually happening....it still seemed like a glitch was sure to be around the corner.

We got through the initial security check with relative ease and were soon waiting to move to the gate and load the plane, the only glitch in sight being that Tom had a blowout diaper, one that I for sure did not want to accompany us onto the plane!  I quick went and changed his diaper, and we were set! 

VID00057 from Hoffbeauty on Vimeo.

Saying goodbye to Tuna was bittersweet.  Of course, we were more than eager to get on the plane, but leaving our dear brother was hard...he had been such a beloved companion and confidant and guide and friend in such a short time.  Scott got last minute directions from him about what to do when we arrived in Delhi and about how to reach him should we need anymore help.  And then we gathered and prayed one last time together, gave hugs and kisses, and said goodbye for now.  I can't wait 'til the day when we are reunited again...someday.

The kids were champs.  They were tired and hungry, but somehow they all seemed to understand that we just had to get through this.  Security was a pain, as they had to check through every one of our carry-ons, but again, we couldn't possibly complain at this point.  We just wanted to get through it and be told that we could go.  

I can't remember exactly what, but someone ended up leaving one of our carry-ons behind, and we almost completely left it.  Luckily, we remembered and were able to retrieve it!  Tragedy averted!

Between that picture and the next, the most amazing thing happened.  All seven of us--the people who just a few hours earlier thought this would be impossible--walked together out on the tarmac for the beautiful, surreal, dark-blue-just-evening-sky walk out to the plane...and up the stairs...and were seated.  We. were. so. happy.  Can you tell??!

I realize that there is a lot of exhaustion in this picture, too, but believe me...it was a happy exhaustion.  I remember just sitting in my seat thinking, "I can't believe all that just happened."  But it had.  And we were here.

Cramazing.

Our Cramazing May, Episode XLVI: Passport Office, Take 2 (and 3!)

When I say that Tuna got to work, I mean it!  He absolutely was not content with only one of us getting a passport.  Really Important Man had promised L's passport, and he needed to make sure that it happened!  So for the whole hour we were driving back to Bhubaneswar, Tuna was on the phone, talking to this person and that, in rapidly spoken Oriya, trying to make this thing happen.

Our plan of action:  drop Hoffbeast and the kids off at the hotel and head back to the passport office for go-around #2.  Breaking the news to Karen was not going to be fun....I was so glad that she and Hoffbeast had each other to process with as we ran off--and had the entertaining kids to distract them as much as possible.

Back to the passport office...I really didn't care to see inside that building again, but we had to do what we had to do, so inside we went.  This time, we arrived in the afternoon, so the crowd was much smaller, and getting in was physically much easier.  Tuna explained the situation to the security inside and after awhile, we were directed upstairs again.

(One funny side story....remember my near-indiscretion from the day before?  Well, on this day, a ceiling fan nearly blew my skirt all the way up around my shoulders....super embarrassing second awkwardness at the passport office.  Really--I promise--I wasn't trying to score points in that way!)

At the top of the stairs, we again turned left, thinking that we knew what to expect.  But this time, things were different.  The afternoon brought an entirely different mood at the passport office, and an armed guard stepped in front of Scott and me and made it very clear that this time, we would not be allowed through the glass door that led to the winding hallway of numbered rooms.  We would stay outside that door, peering through to see as much as we could see, and we would do literally the only thing we could do to help....we would pray.

There are no pictures from any of this time...it was way too tense for photographs.

Tuna walked into Room #2, then left again, following the Important Man from the day before.  Back to the room.  Out of the room and into Room #4, where we could only assuming that he was pleading with Rim on our behalf.  Back to Room 2, then out again and down a hall out of view...for awhile.  Back again.  

This went on for 20 minutes.  Scott and I would look at each other, speak a quiet word, try to smile at the stoic guard, and then go back to silently praying and waiting.

Finally, after Tuna had been in Rim's room for what seemed like forever, he began to emerge.  And then went back in.  Several times, we would see the sleeve of his shirt only to see it disappear again as they continued to discuss (debate?  argue?  negotiate?).  We never fully understood all that was happening, but we again watched as the God of the universe moved the mountains.

Eventually, Tuna walked down the hallway toward us, opened the door, and explained that Rim was very unhappy about this mistake but that he was wielding all the power he had to make us wait for an answer.  He had finally agreed to get L's passport printed but had demanded that the orphanage director come from Cuttack herself that afternoon to receive the passport in person.  I remember feeling like that was such a long shot, but Scott was eager to call and ask....what could it hurt?  He called the orphanage, explained the situation, and then gave the phone to Tuna to make arrangements.  I was pleasantly surprised to hear that she was willing to do what was needed....again, praise God!  But the timeline was very tight.

Tuna went back to update Rim and make another call or two, and when he returned, he told us that Rim had relented and decided that he would give the passport to us directly....at 5 p.m.  It was 2 p.m. now, and our flight was leaving at 7 p.m.  Tuna had asked for an earlier delivery time, but Rim wouldn't budge.

Until he did.  As we were turning to leave, Rim, with a big smile on his face, walks down the hall and out the door and says, "Okay.  4 o'clock.  Come back at 4:00, and I will have your passport!"  He seemed very proud of himself for being so magnanimous.  At this point, we didn't care.  We thanked him profusely and left, hoping hoping hoping that he really meant it and would make it happen.

By this point, we were soooo hungry and thirsty, and since there was nothing more to do for two hours, Tuna took us to a restaurant owned by a friend, which turned out to be my. absolute. favorite. Indian food of the whole trip!  Maybe it's because I was so dang relieved that this passport situation seemed to be working out, I'm not sure.  Either way, I ate sooooo much food.  And it was all delicious!!!  If I ever get to go back to Bhubaneswar, I'm heading straight there!  :)

Promptly at 4 p.m., we walked back into the passport office for our third and final visit.  This time, we turned right at the top of the stairs and entered a room full of windows on the sides and chairs in the middle.  Tuna went to a window and explained why we were there, and we proceeded to play a little game called "Make the Foreigners Wait for their Stuff for Absolutely as Long as Possible."  It was fun.  Okay, not really.  More like ridiculous.  The man behind the window first said that no, it wasn't ready and wouldn't be for a while.  Then he told us that it was there but would have to be reviewed.  Then, in a move that was purely for show, they called Scott up, asked for his passport, and carefully examined every single page and passport stamp to make sure they knew exactly where he had been in the world over the last 5 years.  Why?  No reason.  No reason at all....except that they could.  After--no joke--another 30 minutes of waiting, the handoff was finally made, and we walked out.......looking like this.............

It was an unbelievable feeling and definitely one for pictures!  Here we are with our angel, Tuna.  Thank you, Lord, for sending us this dear friend and advocate who worked tirelessly to get our children home.

And thank you, God, for your cramazing work on our behalf.....I am still in awe.

Our Cramazing May, Episode XLV : Getting Tom's Passport

Wednesday morning, we woke up, keenly aware that this day was big.  Really big.  Would everything play out as we were hoping?  Would the long-awaited passports actually be in our hands within hours?  Would we be able to step on a plane together and arrive back in Delhi by day's end?  The answers were still mysteries to us, but we were about to watch and see...

That morning, Karen decided to stay back at the hotel, rest, and pack for our hopeful departure.  The plan was for the rest of us to drive to Cuttack and meet the courier who was holding the passports, returning in plenty of time to eat lunch and get to the aiport for our evening departure.  That was the plan.

Tuna arrived with a smile on his face and hope on his lips.  This was it; this was the day that we were all waiting for....hopefully.  But before we left the hotel, he had to share one piece of sad news with me:  our original taxi driver had returned the night before, and that morning, Tuna had gone to check on my FLIP.  No dice...it was gone.  But then, "I did a miracle!" he says, as he pulls out my FLIP from behind his back!  Tuna was so proud of himself for tricking me, and I couldn't decide whether to laugh or to cry!  All those precious videos were returned to me!!!  And to think--it would have been SO easy for that driver to have sold it instead, but he turned out to be an honest man (Or possibly Tuna was able to buy it back?  Not sure which!  Either way...)...praise God!

We loaded the van and drove the 45 minutes to Cuttack, and on the way we learned about Tuna's call to the postmaster general that morning.  As it turns out, the passports had indeed been mailed and had arrived in Cuttack.  Unfortunately for us, the guy in charge of the post office in Cuttack was not agreeing to release them to anyone other than an official of the orphanage.  Makes sense, actually, but it just meant another step for us.  Now we needed to go to Basundhara and ask someone there to come with us as we made our way through the streets of Cuttack to find the random courier who literally held the key to our travel home.

Our other option was to wait until the afternoon mail arrived at the orphanage; this would be a last resort but would result in yet another night at the Ginger (We enjoyed our time there but were definitely ready to leave by this point!).

So, off to Basundhara we went!  On the way, Mr. D explained to Tuna a little more about the situation at the passport office and about the tension between the Important Men there and the representatives of the orphanages.  Turns out that it is quite common for the orphanages to feel very much at the mercy of the Important Men; a past slap on the wrist by the courts had led to an ongoing conflict of power between the two parties.  Had God not intervened the day before, we all felt confident that we would not be on our way to the passports today.

This time, when we arrived at Basundhara, we decided not to take Tom inside the complex.  We had said our goodbyes on Monday, and bringing him into that again seemed like the wrong idea.  Having said that, we couldn't be there without giving Soudemani the opportunity to love on her sweetheart again.  So while Scott, Tuna, and Mr. D went to find help, I went to find Soudemani while Hoffbeast and Tom waited in the van.

Soudemani quickly understood that Tom was outside and that I wanted her to come see him.......and she was SO happy!  These last few pictures of the two of them together bring back memories of another nanny goodbye in another land a few years before this one, when Neil and his nanny, Aster, said goodbye.  

Much laughter and familiarity--Tom was very happy to see her, too!

For some reason, my pictures are all overexposed, but they are still precious...and all that I have.


At first, Tom hesitated to go back to Daddy, but only for a second or two.  Soon, he was settled back in the strong arms that he had begun to trust so much over the last few days.

And they said goodbye, tears in her eyes...



I walked back in with Soudemani and while passing the office, I saw this duo waiting to talk to someone.  My mind wandered as to the situation....I never found out what was happening, but I have a strong and very sad suspicion...

Soudemani wanted me to take her picture with this other nanny who is obviously a good friend of hers.  I was happy to oblige!

And then I said my own goodbyes...

DSCN3650 from Hoffbeauty on Vimeo.

One last wave from B, whom would hopefully be joining his new family in just a few months...

And then, finally, armed with the Basundhara official, we made our way through the winding streets to a random location where a guy on a bike held our fortune.

Seriously, the situation seemed so crazy....and I felt like a paparazzi, using my zoom to capture these images.  On the left, the courier.  On the right, the orphanage official.  

Words exchanged, papers perused, phone calls made.

What was going on?  This was not the quick exchange those of us waiting in the van were hoping for.

Finally, Tuna decided to get out and check to see what was happening.  More waiting...

And then....a wave toward the van.  Tuna is motioning for Scott to come and join him at the bike.  Something is wrong.  What is going on?

Eventually, Scott and Tuna, looking rather dejected, return with the official to the van, where Scott quickly announces, "Looks like Tom can leave, but we'll have to stay for another week or so."

WHAT??!?!

You can guess what had happened.  After all the haggling with and promises from Rim, the other girl's passport had indeed been issued instead of L's.  I had the thought that somewhere in America, R's family had no idea about the cramazing story taking place at that moment on the other side of the world that was enabling their little girl to come home much quicker than otherwise would have possibly happened.  Exciting for them, devastating for Scott and Karen....and for us, as we felt so in this together and desperately wanted them with us on the rest of our journey.  It was an enormous blow, and none of us knew quite how to respond.  We cried, we sighed, we prayed..........and then Tuna got to work.

Tom with his passport...having that document in our hands felt cramazingly good, dulled only by the sadness that our friends couldn't feel the same way.  Interestingly, the date of issue on the passport was May 6, 2011.  May 6!  It was now May 25, which means that that passport had been printed and sitting in that bright blue building for nearly 3 weeks!  Who knows how much longer it would have sat had we not gone and fought for it...

Our Cramazing May, Episode XLIV : Indian Game

After a good afternoon nap for all seven of us, our taxi driver was back to pick us up, this time to take us to Tuna and Jeepu's house for a beautiful evening of fellowship and celebration.  As it would turn out, the timing was perfect, as we would say goodbye and fly out of Orissa the next evening.  Of course, at this time, we were only hoping that that would be the case, but the events of the day and God's very obvious hand in it had lightened our moods and given us the freedom to just really enjoy these new friendships that we had.

Little C, welcoming us to their home!

In India, two beds are often pushed together and used as sleeping space at night but also as couch/resting place by day.  We all sat together getting to know each other better and hearing each others' stories.

Tuna and Jeepu showed us a photo album with lots of wedding and extended family pictures.

G was a quiet, sweet presence at their house...I really enjoyed her and wish we could have understood each other better!

At first, Tom stayed glued to Hoffbeast's hip, but eventually, he ventured down off the bed, ready to explore.  He was becoming more confident already!

At some point during our visit, I turned to big C and asked if they had any traditional Indian games that they liked to play and if he wouldn't mind showing me one.  So out came this!  

We spent the next hour sitting on the floor playing....so much fun!

Tom decided that sitting with Mommy just might be acceptable, especially since his friend, L, was so close by.  He was cautious but got more and more comfortable the longer we sat there.

C and G were both amazing at this game, and L wasn't too bad either!

I, on the other hand.....I wasn't so good.

The game was played by flicking a certain-colored disk into one of four corner pockets, attempting to knock your opponents out of the way at the same time.  First, they shook powder on the board to make it easy for the disks to slide.  Sort of a combination of air hockey, paper football, and billiards all rolled into one!

The winner, C!

L was all smiles!  In fact, this was the first time we had seen so many smiles on her outside of her hotel room!

Finally, a group picture before our goodbye.  It had been a joy-filled evening, and we were and remain so grateful for the friends God has given us on the other side of the world!