Could it be?

I don't know what's happening, but...

-tears came on Sunday when I saw a very recent picture of her.
-her first name appeared on a waiting child list.
-the top-of-my-newsfeed news tonight was a friend who had a baby yesterday...named the same name.

I just want her to have a family so badly and for said family to want to be in contact with our son as badly as we want him to be in contact with her.

And if there is no "said family", then can I please be her mommy? Please?

Only God could make it happen.  Then again, He IS a God who does some pretty cramazing things.

We shall see.

Glorious Unfolding Tour

After a wonderful Boxes of Love outreach day, Bart, Neil, and I drove just out of town to attend the Glorious Unfolding concert of one of my favorite artists ever, Steven Curtis Chapman.  We were privileged to represent Show Hope at the concert, and it was wonderful...so worshipful and so encouraging.  Again, Neil's picture flashed across the screen from our days at the orphanage in Addis Ababa, new son in daddy's arms.  This time, it was Mama's arms that were around him, so proud and thankful to call him mine.  God chose us for each other, and despite our struggles, I am so grateful every day for him.

While at the concert, I met another mom who has kiddos from the same orphanage in India as Tom.  I had first gotten into contact with Kathy way back when we were considering Tom's referral and learning about his special need.  One of her daughters was also born with amniotic banding, and she was so confident back in those days when she encouraged us to adopt him.  It was awesome to finally meet her and her daughters. Hopefully someday, we will be able to (re)introduce Tom to her daughters.

In another life, I would work for Show Hope!  They have such an amazing ministry of spreading the word about adoption as a reflection of the gospel and God's heart for His children!  We received grants twice due to the generous donors of Show Hope, and we were happy to be able to be at the concert asking others to be a part.

All was well until I learned the next day that Kathy had met SCC after the concert.  Wish someone would've told me that that was gonna happen!  Oh well....hopefully there will be another time, because I do want to say thanks.  Their family has blessed us in a thousand ways, and I'd love to introduce SCC to one of those ways (Tom this time...Neil met him when he was just a year old).

What a great day really looks like...

Earlier this morning when I checked Facebook, I saw that a "friend" (who just got back from India after meeting her son) had posted a photo of Soudemani, Tom's nanny from his two years at the orphanage.  She is a beautiful woman, and we are so grateful for her intense and loving care of our little one.  Tom was just over 2 years old when he met him, and she was his primary caregiver for most of that time.

Showing Tom her picture prompted a look at other India pictures and videos...always a treasure to walk down that very important memory lane.

And then, the words from Beth, "Tom, do you remember the time when we first met at the airport?  That was a great day!"

Yes, it was, girly.  Yes, it was.

Show Hope 10-year anniversary weekend!

What a blessing is the ministry of Show Hope!  Our family has benefitted twice now from grants given by Show Hope as we traveled the road of adoption.

I remember sitting at the Steven Curtis Chapman concert in September 2002.  Rex was just two months old, and Andrea and I headed to the concert--it was one of my first evenings away from Baby Rex, and it ministered to my soul.  The whole concert was amazing from start to finish, and most of the night was spent searching every nook and cranny of my purse for an extra tissue.

Nicole Nordeman opened.  She was fantastic.  Steve Saint appeared onstage with Mincaye, one of the Auca Indians who had speared his father and 4 other missionaries.  It was astounding.  And then, a video...When Love Takes You In.  I remember weeping and telling Andrea that I couldn't wait until we were at a place where we could adopt.  Less than a year later, we would attend our first adoption seminar, and we were off and running...in our hearts anyway.

Steven Curtis Chapman explained that night about how his daughter, Emily, had wanted a little sister and had prayed that her parents would open their hearts to adoption.  The prayers uttered by a little girl a decade-and-a-half ago has led to thousands of children being helped home through the ministry of Show Hope, as well as all the other adoption initiatives with which they are involved.

A few months ago, we received an invitation in the mail to attend the 10th anniversary weekend of Show Hope.  At that time, we had recently received our pregnancy diagnosis, and any thought that we would be in a place to travel to Nashville over Memorial Day weekend was....not there.  I didn't even consider the possibility, so I tossed the invitation, knowing that having it sitting around the house would just make me sad that we couldn't go. 

A couple of months later, as my pregnancy was stabilizing, and I was beginning to feel better, Hoffbeast suggested that we consider traveling to the weekend.  Let's just say that it didn't take a lot of convincing.  I was so excited--and here we are!

This afternoon, we drove to The Factory in Franklin, Tennessee, an old, long-ago-shut-down factory that has been converted to an amazing retail, dining, and learning space.  There, the offices of Show Hope are housed, and as a lover of all things behind-the-scenes and headquartersey, I loved being there!  Plus, I was able to meet in person a couple of the special people who have helped our process along there over the years.  The Chapmans were there, too, but unfortunately they took off before we were able to get much more than a handshake in.  Hopefully we will get a chance to talk with them in person tomorrow and introduce them to Tom--we are so thankful for the the grant that we received from them for our Indian adoption, as well as the first one we received prior to traveling to Ethiopia to meet Neil.

And I really hope I can tell Mary Beth that she traveled with me to India--because I'm not sure that she knows.  (Any of you reading along on our India travel journey knows that I began reading her book on the plane on the way there, and it was a constant companion for me during our whole trip.)

So, without further ado...photos of our day...

Let's just say that there were....a few people there.  It was hot and crowded, but they kept us well fed and hydrated.  :)  The daddy took the kids exploring while I waited in the hour-and-a-half line.

 It was worth it, though!  Once inside, I got to meet my Show Hope friend, Jaimee, in person for the first time!  Hoping to catch a little more time with her tomorrow...

 Their office comes equipped with a swing!  Now THAT'S a fun office!!  (Hoffbeast and I were both dreaming about HLIC's new office while we were there.)

 Maria's "SEE" flower adorned every corner of the office.  What a beautiful girl whose life has been used to bring Jesus great pleasure--both while she was here on Earth and now that she is in Heaven with Him.

 Afterwards, we spent some time with "Rusty", the Factory's metal man...so interesting!  He was HUGE, and the building of him took six years!  As we understood it, all the parts used to build him came from the factory itself, and he stands now as a memory to what the building used to be, even as it has been refurbished and is now used for completely different purposes.



 I am getting bigger every day!!  :)  Feeling good and really trying to enjoy these days...

 Last up for the night, frozen yogurt...yummy!



We are so grateful for the family God has given us!  Each of our children is so special, and tonight as I put Beth and Neil to bed, I reminded them that if I could have chosen any kids in the whole world to be mine, I wouldn't have chosen any differently.  God is so good in His choosing.



GOTCHA!

 You are FAMILY.  You are OURS.  We've GOTCHA...forever.

MIA: Green Card

One of the things that has been frustrating my life so much in the last week is the fact that we have lost Tom's green card.

Let me say that again.  We have lost Tom's green card.

Anyone who has ever been in possession of a green card knows that, um, you don't lose it.  Like, you just don't.  It's that important.

But we did.

I can't tell you how aggravating it is to know that you opened this Very Important Document, know that you set it down in the spot where your Very Organized Husband would find and file it, and now know that it is gone. 

I have spent hours over the last few days looking for it.  Hours.  Lots of hours.  Both the structured I'm-going-to-be-logical-and-look-through-every-file kind of hours and the I'm-in-the-middle-of-folding-laundry-but-oooh-I-should-stop-and-look-in-that-random-place kind of hours.

It isn't here.

Considering the fact that the Hub never saw said green card, the most logical explanation is that the owner of the green card followed Mama to Daddy's desk, grabbed the mail she had just set down, and proceeded to circular file said mail for her.  (Now, I'm not one to just go around blaming my toddlers for my mistakes normally, but it is just the type of thing that our little Curious George would do, and we simply can't figure out a better option.  If and when the lost green card ever turns up, I promise that I will issue a public apology to my little.)

I was hoping that my third trip to the Social Security administration office yesterday would be the charm, but alas, it wasn't.  Despite my best efforts at some sort of replacement document that would house the needed information, I have now been sufficiently convinced that I can not get a Social Security number for Tom without it.  But the good news that I got yesterday is that there is such a thing as an Adoption Tax ID, so tomorrow I head to the IRS help office to see if I can apply for one of those for him, simply so we can get our taxes filled out while I then go and apply for a replacement green card.

More time, money, paperwork, and waiting, here we come.  Fun, fun, fun.

NOTE TO PROSPECTIVE ADOPTIVE PARENTS:  Don't lose the green card.  Just don't.  Make a copy, and file it right away. 

I'm trying to trust that God has a reason....even for this....and that He can use even this frustration for His glory.  And I'm thankful today for my renewed perspective that allows me to almost laugh at the situation--instead of crying.

Too Many Details?

My brother told me awhile ago that my blog report of our trip to India had too many details.  So I told him not to read it.

I get it--for my readers who are concise, get-right-to-the-point people, the Our Cramazing May episodes are simply too tedious and too cumbersome to read.  I am not offended in the least.

But for those who are interested in adoption and specifically those who are either in the process to adopt from India or are considering it, I hope that these words and photos will paint a picture of walking with God through the journey.  He was in it the whole time.  At every corner, we were seeing Him provide, lift up, strengthen, and give us faith to keep trusting Him.  Adoption is not for the faint of heart--but it IS for broken people who are motivated by the heart of God to care for orphans and beautifully display a shadow of what real adoption looks like.  I was adopted by the perfect Father, and as I walk through the process, I see God more clearly.

That is not to say that adoption is a means to an end.  Adoption is an end in itself, a permanent, irrefutable, forever condition.  It is a high calling, and one that should never, ever, ever, ever (You get my drift?) be entered into lightly.  But having considered the need and the heart of God toward orphans and the power that is available to those who depend fully on Him, believers should feel free to, motivated by, and confident about moving forward into the beautiful, difficult, rewarding, challenge, and amazing world of adoption.

And, by the way, I doubt that Tom (or Tom's wife and children someday) will think that this record is too detailed.  He has no baby book.  He has very little record of his first two years.  But he will always have this...he will always be able to know what Daddy, Mama, and Rex went through to bring him home to our family.

Too detailed for you?  Skim it and glance at the pics!  Perfect for where you are?  Read on, and enjoy...

The Best Days of Our Lives

Yesterday was one of them....the day when our Tom received his new name and the judge said "yes".

Yes, it's final...and he is ours forever.

More pictures later, but for now, here we are with our social worker just after the court case...I'm a happy mama.  :)

Court Date!!!

Exciting news!  We found out today that we have a court date for Tom's readoption in our state!  At this point, his name will officially change to the one we are giving him, and we will go from being his guardians (according to the US) to being his parents! 

December 13, 2011.....the perfect day for court!  We were really hoping to be able to finalize this year, so we are grateful.  It'll be so good to have this part of the process behind us...praise the Lord!!!

Our Cramazing May, Episode IX

This blog series is going to test my knowledge of Roman numerals, I just know it!  I am already on the ninth installment, and we haven't even gotten off the ground yet for our first of eight flights!

This video was taken just after leaving little Beth with her grandma and Aunt Becky.  I remember feeling so stunned that this was actually happening....all of the ups and downs of the weeks prior to this day had led to this one very exciting and climactic hill climb....toward our son.  We were on our way!

Rex and his daddy kept me laughing the whole way....that's part of Hoffbeast's role in my life, for sure!  He has a keen ability to keep things lighthearted, even when they are feeling stressful or heavy to me.  And Rex is often the same way.

Untitled from Sarah Hoffman on Vimeo.

One of the funny things about that video is that Rex was sooo concerned about his book, yet that book ended up coming in a distant second to the book that we bought while we were in Chicago.  The book in this video, the 2012 Time Kids' Almanac--which he had been dying to get--was purchased for him a couple of weeks before the trip, but we didn't allow him to look at it until the day we left home.  A bit cruel?  Perhaps.  But we did it because the last time we had gone to the bookstore to buy new books for the trip, he had read them all in 3 days.  We had to save it so that it would actually keep him occupied for awhile.  :)

We got to the gate in Indianpolis with plenty of time to spare.  I was able to find a little shop where I bought new toothbrushes, toothpaste, and a few other toiletry items that we had left in the Hub's bag at my parents'.  Then we sat in for the short wait, and soon, we found ourselves boarding plane #1, headed for Chicago!

The plane was one of those very small ones with one seat on one side of the aisle and two on the others.  The boys sat together while Mama hung out in the single seat.  I didn't care...I was just happy that we were together and that the last leg of our journey to Tom was actually beginning!

It was a short flight, but during it, I did a lot of pondering while looking out the window...

...and a lot of treasuring, while watching my husband and our oldest son, hand in hand, enjoying the journey together.  Their hands are exactly the same--and just like Grandpa Hoffbeast's, too.  I wish I had a picture of Hoffbeast and his dad holding hands.  I'll bet it would have looked just like this.

Our Cramazing May, Episode VIII

Mom and Becky dropped us off at the curb then went to park while we checked in for our flight.  The first American Airlines worker we came to was a sign of things to come...we had wonderful service during each of our flights to India!  (On our way back?  That was another story....see Episode LXXVIII or so.)  We told her that we were beginning our adoption journey, and we didn't know it at the time, but she gave us bulkhead seats, which was much appreciated later.  So much more room to stretch out! 

After checking in, me already having counted our bags and made sure we had our boarding passes, tickets, and passports multiple times, we sat down for a last snuggle with our girlie.  It wasn't really the quiet, memorable moment I was hoping for, as she was squirmy, and the rest of the crew was eager to get going.  I, on the other hand, was dreading leaving my sweet Beth.  But it was almost time...

(I would like to say right off the bat that I realize that the background we chose for our attempt at a photo shoot was a terrible one.  Thank goodness that the travelers' upper body clothing was awash in color; otherwise, we would have all disappeared right into the wall.)

 So typical...a precious, quiet moment with Mama, hands on my face and around my neck...

...and a silly, giggly moment with Daddy.  I was too somber to even attempt a giggle (which I rarely get anyway--that's Daddy's job!), so I was glad that we got some smiles on camera so I could take them with me!

 We then moved on to the security checkpoint, and the real goodbyes began.  I was so happy to be leaving, so glad to be getting on with this journey--finally!--and yet leaving my girl was not easy.  Thankfully, she was super brave and somehow seemed to understand pretty well what was happening.  She didn't cry at all, and so we didn't either...much.  We hugged, we kissed, we prayed, we hugged and kissed some more, and then we walked, looking back for a last glimpse, only to see our happy, big girl waiting and waving with Grandma and Aunt Becky.  She was going to be just fine! 

And she really was....the whole time we were gone.  God was so gracious in answering our prayers about both Beth and Neil...they had a wonderful time with our friends and family, and reports were that neither of them were afraid or homesick.  They knew that we were coming back, and they knew that their little brother would be with us!  Praise God!

Untitled from Sarah Hoffman on Vimeo.

Our Cramazing May, Episode VII

On Monday, May 16, it felt like our adventure was truly beginning.  We were actually loading up the car and heading for the airport!  We were so packed in...our Buicci's trunk wasn't really all that big, and we had decided that both my mom and sister would take us to the airport.  It was a pretty hilarious ride there, up until the time the Hub realized that he had left his extra contacts sitting out on Mom and Dad's bathroom counter.  Thankfully, Dad (and my sister's friend at the post office drop-off) came to the rescue, and we were able to have them overnighted to our travel partners, Scott and Karen, to bring with them to India when they left the next day.

Hoffbeast, Rex, and my Mom in the front seat...

   

 ...and Beth, me, and my sissy in the back.    

         

The little face I was gonna miss every minute we were gone.  Notice the gum in her mouth.  She's become a big fan of gum, thanks to Aun And, Kara, and especially my sister, who spoiled her rotten the whole time we were gone!  Oh well--what are aunts for if not to spoil their nieces and nephews, right??!

     

At different points on the drive up, I would catch the Hub's eyes in the rearview mirror.  It was as if to say, "Wow.  We're really doing this!"  I still can hardly believe it sometimes....but then I look at little Tom and know that it was all very real!

We had 9 bags in all, and I was constantly counting them!  Once we arrived in India, we were able to leave 2 of them at the orphanage, as we brought lots of donations (toys, clothing, medical supplies, etc.) with us that had been collected by our agency.  It was a blessing to be able to carry needed supplies with us.  The orphanage is wonderful--but it is very sparce in terms of material goods.  Anything that we could take would be helpful, as what they do have only lasts for so long.

Arriving at the airport, making sure we had all of our bags.  This was the first of many times we had to remind Rex to stay close to us!

For some reason, the fact that we had duct tape with us was very funny to me!  What's funnier is that we carried it all the way to India and back!  (I thought that Hoffbeast wanted it with us, but he had only wanted to tape our broken suitcase for the trip over....oops!)

Jingles would become a very important friend to have with us on the trip, as he was often used to comfort Tom and break the ice with him and the other kids at the orphanage.  Good pick, Rex!  (Incidentally, Jingles is MIA now.  Kind of sad.  He was a good stuffed dog, and he served his purpose well!)

Enjoy this video taken on the drive to the Indy airport....we really love each other--we do!  :)  The good-natured arguing is actually pretty funny to me as it very accurately illustrates both the tension and the excitement in the car at the time!

Untitled from Sarah Hoffman on Vimeo.

Our Cramazing May, Episode VI

 Consolidation and repacking at the parentals' house:

Blankets, shoes, baby toys....check!

 Instant oatmeal, granola bars, powdered juice packets....check!

 Sunscreen, kleenex packets, hand sanitizer....check!

Almost ready to GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our Cramazing May, Episode IV

On the morning of May 14, we woke up bright and early (Okay, it probably wasn't that early; then again, I had only gotten about 4 hours of sleep!) to finish up the packing and be gone on our incredible adventure.  There was so much to do still, in spite of all the work and prep we had already done.  Packing for that many people who were going to be in such different places was quite challenging:  Neil with 2 families, one where he needed school uniforms and the other where he didn't; Beth with my parents; Rex with us in 3 different climates; our clothes, and, of course, clothes for Tom in three different sizes!

Thankfully, our faithful and available friend and intern, Noel, came over to help with the kiddos and with just about anything I asked of her.  I can't even remember all that she did now, but all I can say is THANK YOU!  Noel, you blessed us so much that day...it was fun having you around to cheer me on and you were super duper helpful!  I can't even say how helpful....we probably would have left a lot later than our already-late leave time of 3 p.m.

One of the things that Noel did that day is that she became our chief photographic documentarian.  Here are some of the images that she captured....

C000847 was Tom's passport application number.  Here, I am pointing to India's passport application update website and noting that it says, "Passport has been granted and is expected to be dispatched by 20-05-2011.  Subject to all documents being in order."  It was a very big deal when it was updated to this status from the previous one, which had said, "Application has been received and is expected to be dispatched by 10-05-2011.  Subject to all documents being in order."  The date was 10 days later, but in the newer update, it actually stated that the passport had been granted.  Now all we needed to do was to get there and find it!  I had gotten very familiar with this passport website, so much so that I am pretty sure that I knew more about it than the Indian passport official we eventually spoke to.

Our travel partner, Scott, helped me to make our hotel reservations for our arrival in India.  For some reason, I was having trouble, and Scott and his expertise with all things business-in-India came in quite helpful even early on.  A sign of things to come.  I spent moments in between packing doing all sorts of last-minute computer things as they would come to mind.

By this time, I had moved upstairs to print.  The Hub was busy, too--paying bills, organizing things for while we were gone, making sure we had our traveler's checks, etc.  We were in task mode for sure!

I had the thought that maybe I should print out a screen-shot of Tom's application status from the Indian passport website.  This became a very important piece of the puzzle on the day we appeared in person at the passport office.  I am so grateful that the Lord gave me the idea to do this, as I'm not sure that we would have been able to move forward in the process without it.

After printing Tom's, I decided to print a screen-shot of L's application status as well.  Later, it would be extremely important that I had paid close attention to her application as well as to Tom's.  Praising God for making me just a little bit OCD about stuff like this!  ;)  I say that tongue-in-cheek, but the reality is that every member of our travel group had strengths that came in handy and that God used to bring our children home.

Another thing we had to do was to print out a copy of our Show Hope grant application, as it had to be mailed before we took guardianship of Tom.  We were blessed to receive a grant from Show Hope (Shaohannah's Hope at the time) when we were adopting Neil, and we are praying that God will use them to again provide for some of our unexpected travel costs.  Either way, though, we love Show Hope, as they are a blessing to so many families and have been used to bring so many orphans around the world into forever, loving, God-centered homes.

Here is our packing list, with lots of it crossed off!  We would buy the food once we got to my hometown.  Mom and I needed to have a reason to go to Target after all!

 Many bags!

 Rex and Beth spent lots of time on the couch that day watching Saturday morning (and afternoon) cartoons.

The Bible to the left of our wedding picture and bouquet belonged to Thomas, paternal grandfather of Hoffbeast.  Thomas was an immigrant from Ireland and a minister of the gospel.  Tom is named partly after his great-grandfather Thomas and partly after Thomas the apostle, who is oft-credited with first taking the Good News of Jesus to India.

At 3 p.m., we locked the door and headed out.  Rex and Beth were safely situated in the car seats, and Noel, Jeff, and I stood at the car and prayed.  We prayed that God would protect us, that He would provide for our needs, that He would go before us with the passport officials, that Tom would bond well to us.  It was a special time, anticipating that there would be a time a few weeks from then, when we would stand in the same place, holding our son and introducing him to our neighbors.

It happened.  It really did.