Rex Says...

Mama:  "Rex, are you planning on reading that entire book?"  (Choosing to See, by Mary Beth Chapman)

Rex:  "That's my aim!"

________________________

What 8-year-old responds with, "That's my aim" when he could just say, "That's the plan" or, more simply, "Yep"?

I love that kid.

Adoption Update - Good Place

The Hub and I took today to pray specifically about our travel situation.  I was praying 3 things....

1)  That the passport would come quickly--in the next few days.
2)  That he and I would be in agreement about what we needed to do or not do.
3)  That God would give us clarity about whether or not we should fly to India not knowing whether Jag's passport would be ready or not.

It was a really great day, and I'm thankful.  Still waiting on #1; good on the other two.

Another great Beth moment

For awhile now, we haven't been sure that she actually knows her name.  This confirms it.  It's quite funny, and sooooo precious, if I might say.  :)


Untitled from Sarah Hoffman on Vimeo.

Maybe we should just go??!

This is what the boys looked like on the day we sent in our application to adopt from India.  It was over 2 years ago now....on THE VERY DAY that Jagat was born.  Of course, we didn't know that at the time.

That should remind me to trust in the timing that God has set forth.  He has known this story from the beginning until now...and He will see it through to the end.

I was very discouraged over the weekend, and I spent hours pouring over information that I got from an online adoption group I'm in, just trying to get any nugget that would give me clues as to when we should go.  I came up with very little except a whole lotta doubts, misgivings, and anti-trust issues.  But God sent who I needed:  the body of Christ in the form of two friends who listened and prayed last night and then in the form of our CCC staff team here in our city.  It was wonderful to be able to pray together all day with other staff (It was our bi-annual Day of Prayer today.) and to get my heart and mind refocused a bit on the One who is truly writing this story.

Having said all of that, Hoffbeast and I are considering a trip to India at the end of next week!  He's still not convinced, but I'm thinking that the passport should be done by then, and even if it's not, at least we will have been able to visit Baby J (who is no longer a baby) and begin the bonding process.  And I'm also thinking...that we serve a big God who can remove all of the obstacles in our way.  Not a little god who has no real power; but a big God who spoke and the stars leapt into existence.  If He holds everything together by the word of His mouth, he can certainly figure out how to get a picture and a few little words printed onto a piece of paper for us.

We don't want to be double-minded, and we need wisdom that can only be given by Him.  Give us wisdom, Lord, and then give us faith to believe and to act according to the wisdom you have given.

And then there was morning...a blessed Resurrection Sunday!

Low in the grave he lay, Jesus my Savior,
Waiting the coming day, Jesus my Lord!

Up from the grave he arose!
With a mighty triumph o'er his foes,
He arose a victor from the dark domain,
And he lives forever, with his saints to reign.
He arose! He arose! Hallelujah, Christ arose!

Vainly they watch his bed, Jesus my Savior,
Vainly they seal the dead, Jesus my Lord.

Up from the grave he arose!
With a mighty triumph o'er his foes,
He arose a victor from the dark domain,
And he lives forever, with his saints to reign.
He arose! He arose! Hallelujah, Christ arose!

Death cannot keep its prey, Jesus my Savior;
He tore the bars away, Jesus my Lord.

Up from the grave he arose!
With a mighty triumph o'er his foes,
He arose a victor from the dark domain,
And he lives forever, with his saints to reign.
He arose! He arose! Hallelujah, Christ arose!

(Music and lyrics by Robert Lowry)

The Long Saturday

What was it like, the Long Saturday between your death and your rising day? It must have been just....awful. A sickness, an aching--deep in the gut--for your friends and your followers. They had watched, solemn and confused, as you had been betrayed by one of your own, arrested for no reason, beaten by brutes with weapons that tore your flesh from the bone. They had muscled their way through the crowds to catch a glimpse of you as you struggled under the weight of the cross you were being forced to carry to what would be your crucifixion site. They had stared, not quite believing what they were seeing. Their King, their Messiah, Yeshua--Yahweh is Salvation--was there before them on a Roman cross....dying.

And then, it was finished. Darkness had set in, the earth had trembled. There was silence. And they hadn't known what to do.

Did they just hang their heads and go home, dazed at the events that had just unfolded? Did they gather together and weep? Did they strategize about what was next? Did they talk it out, or turn inward and say nothing?

They must have been so confused. So terrified. So...confused.

Had they been able to sleep? I mean, how do you sleep with all of those thoughts swirling around in your head? On the other hand, they were probably exhausted--many of them had been up for much of the night before.

And then came Saturday. It was the Sabbath. It must have been the longest Sabbath Day of their lives. I'll bet that their "rest" that day wasn't very restful.

How painful that day must have been! How do you just "move on"? How do you get past the visible images that were seered into your brain? How do you forget the cries of agony that you had heard the day before?

I don't think many of them moved on well that day. Maybe at moments, there had been glimpses of hope. But I'll bet, by nightfall, they were absolutely heartsick and thoroughly...confused. And not knowing what to do next.

The women knew of one tiny thing that they could do for their Lord. Prepare the spices. And I would guess that it was with half great resolve, half dejected duty, that they got them ready before once again collapsing into bed. By then, I'm sure they were so tired, and at first sign of daylight, they would need to be up and ready to go. I'll bet it was an early night for them.....and another long one.

But then came morning.

This is.....McWonderful!

Untitled from Sarah Hoffman on Vimeo.

Eyes and Ears - The Beauty of the Darkest Day

Here are the words to The Power of the Cross, written by Keith Getty.

These words tell a bit about The Story of the Great Rescue, written by God.

Thank you, God, for music that stirs the heart and lyrics that point the soul to the Story--and to the Maker.

______________________________


Oh, to see the dawn
Of the darkest day:
Christ on the road to Calvary.
Tried by sinful men,
Torn and beaten, then
Nailed to a cross of wood.

This, the pow'r of the cross:
Christ became sin for us;
Took the blame, bore the wrath—
We stand forgiven at the cross.

Oh, to see the pain
Written on Your face,
Bearing the awesome weight of sin.
Ev'ry bitter thought,
Ev'ry evil deed
Crowning Your bloodstained brow.

This, the pow'r of the cross:
Christ became sin for us;
Took the blame, bore the wrath—
We stand forgiven at the cross.

Now the daylight flees;
Now the ground beneath
Quakes as its Maker bows His head.
Curtain torn in two,
Dead are raised to life;
"Finished!" the vict'ry cry.

This, the pow'r of the cross:
Christ became sin for us;
Took the blame, bore the wrath—
We stand forgiven at the cross.

Oh, to see my name
Written in the wounds,
For through Your suffering I am free.
Death is crushed to death;
Life is mine to live,
Won through Your selfless love.

This, the pow'r of the cross:
Son of God—slain for us.
What a love! What a cost!
We stand forgiven at the cross.

Fingerprints and other such adoption-speak

No real news about travel today, but I can report that I talked with our social worker who joined in advising that we prepare for a second round of fingerprinting. 

This is completely unacceptable to me!  Both of our last sets of fingerprints (one for each adoption) took 2 months to book and another month to get approved.  Are we really suggesting that we don't go to India 'til August??!

I am begging the Lord to move on our son's behalf!  He is the One who sets the lonely in families, and it's time for Jag to come home and start getting to know the family God has chosen for him.  I know that what seems unlikely (that his passport would come soon) can be handled by our Father, and I'm asking Him to do it!

We need to buy tickets next week.  I really think we do.  Please pray for wisdom and for the right timing...

Baby J Adoption -- A Lookback

In December, I finished writing on my old blog; problem is, our adoption story is mostly contained there, so I've decided to start reviewing the important parts of our story on here--and also post pictures, of course, now that I can!  The following blog post was written on Oct. 16, 2009.  I am so honored to be sitting at this place all these months later, knowing that soon, I will be holding these little hands in mine.

"Maybe Someday...Maybe at some point, I'll be able to tell all that's been going on here the last few weeks.  Probably not. For starters, my camera is broken.  That's a bummer and a half.  But in light of everything else going on, that's nothing!  The most important thing has to do with our upcoming adoption.....thus the "maybe" part of the title.  We sent our agency paperwork in on Tuesday of last week, turned in the last of our homestudy paperwork on Wednesday....and got a call on Thursday.  Yes, you read it right.  We got a call.

Was it "the" call?  We're not sure...much is being weighed, many prayers are going up, many questions are being asked, much waiting is ensuing, but at some point within the next couple of weeks, there will be a definitive answer.  And when there is, I'll let you know.  Until then, please pray for us...and for Baby J.  Thank you."

On Oct. 8, we had received medical information...and 3 little pictures.  This one and another one show the results of the amniotic banding.  The 3rd is a sweet, sweet full body picture.  He was so tiny...

The Happenings...

So many things happening here.....Hoffbeast just got home yesterday from being in Turkey, and this weekend I was with our 8 new (7 new, 1 returner, actually) interns at the Intern Kickoff Weekend. Also we were joined by our new Part-Time guy in Chicago, Will. He was great and asked the ever-curious question, "Where are all the dudes?"  Yes, all of our new interns are women this year.  Another staff gal joined us--she was great to have along--and I'm loving having yet another staff woman on the intern team....so much to add, with her compassionate heart and ministry experience.

Turkey was good for the Hub...I'm very thankful that he's had the chance to be a part of the SLI, but I'm also glad that it's almost over. ;) Now, the only really big thing that's going on here is that we are waiting for the word that we can buy our tickets and go to India!

On Feb. 5, the Indian court declared that we are Baby J's legal guardians. We were in Orlando at the time, and it was such fun news--we thought for sure that we would be able to travel in April. But we had to wait for 2 more things--the written order of guardianship (ended up not coming until April 8) and his passport. At this point, we can go get him, but he can't leave the country until the passport is issued, so we want to get closer to the issue date before going. But it's all a guessing game, really.

The deadline is May 17, because on that day, our fingerprints expire. In other words, last year we were fingerprinted, and the USCIS said that yes, we could bring an adopted child into the country. If we don't get him to the Embassy for his appointment by then, we will have to apply for a new fingerprinting date (took 2 months last time) and wait for approval (took 1 month).

Would you pray with us that God will give us wisdom to know when to go and that He will make a way for all the necessary paperwork and appointments to come through and happen by then so that he can come HOME??! We first saw his face on Oct. 8, 2009.

On our way back home yesterday, we were able to stop and visit with a friend...it was wonderful to see her.  Wonderful.  My heart has been heavy for her, and I'm grateful for the face-to-face.

I think that the posts just might be coming fast and furious now.  Just today, our travel dates have come and gone twice already.  I talked to the agency, then the family we are hoping to travel with, then the family again after they heard from our agency, then called them yet again after reading a blog post from a family currently in India.  They've been there a month already with no passport in sight.  Not great news for us.

'Til next time...

Turkey (and Gravy) or Bust!

We've been without The Daddy for a week now, and we're doing okay, thanks to lots of other things going on and distracting our attention.  But we will be VERY glad on Monday when we get to go pick him up from the airport!

Last Friday, we headed to the airport, where Hoffbeast was promptly told that his flight to Chicago was canceled and that we would have to drive there!  Not exactly the most exciting news to the mom who hadn't packed any snacks or any fun things to do in the car.  But you do what you gotta do, and we had to make sure that he made his flight to Turkey.  So....we loaded up the car, and we drove to O'Hare.

While waiting for The Daddy to get checked in, we played around with the camera and smiled...a lot.

Even "the human slippers" showed up at the airport for the goodbye celebration.

We love you so much, Daddy!  We can't wait for your return!!!!

A (Hotel) Room with a View

For the last eight years, I have had the privilege of working with our Here's Life Inner City interns, processing their applications, setting up city interviews, and placing them on city teams.  This year has been a lot crazier than normal, simply because of the intense, having-nothing-to-do-with-interns things going on in my life right now.  But time has marched on, and the Intern Kickoff Weekend that I attend each spring has arrived; I am here, in a hotel, accompanied by 130 interns, 8 of whom belong with HLIC and will be working in New York City, Chicago, Milwaukee, and the Twin Cities next year.

This hotel room has a view--and a much needed one.  The view is called Perspective.  Here, I see why God placed certain people where.  I see why we had yet another intern added onto the team just this week.  I see why one of our interns got stuck in Nebraska's April snowstorm and isn't able to be here.  And I see why I am not flying to India on Monday.

Do I see the view perfectly?  No.  But a little perspective goes a long way, and my ability to trust God with the ups and downs of this wait to travel has gone up by leaps and bounds over the last few days.  I can now say "Thank you!" for not allowing us to go yet.  Not something I was saying at this time last week.

I have so many pictures to share--of so many things:  more pics of Jag, pics of our house, pics of our adventure with our fabulous hosts of 3 1/2 months.  There's no time like the present to start the show-n-tell!

Introducing Baby J!

I can't believe that it's finally time to do this, but here he is!!

Isn't he precious?!  Those eyes!!!  What more can I say?  This mama wants to squeeze and hug and kiss and cuddle her boy....but for now, I look and I smile and I wonder and I imagine. 

Pictures like this have to hold me over for a couple more weeks.  Hang on, Baby J...we're almost there!

Going Private....for now

I was hoping that I wouldn't have to do this, but the time has come for me to go private on my blog again.  For those of you whom I know are reading, I will invite you directly, but anyone who is reading without commenting, please let me know that you are here, and I will invite you to keep reading.

Why am I going private?  Because I am dying to show off pictures of our son, but at this point, our agency still doesn't want his picture on any public online sites.  So private it is....until we take guardianship of him, which we're hoping will be by the end of the month.

Hoffbeast has arrived safely in Turkey...I'm quite thankful for that wonderful little thing called international texting.

(Hiya, Daddy!  Are you reading??!)

The News I've Been Waiting to Share

It's here.  The guardianship order.  It's here.

I stopped obsessing on Wednesday, after we finally decided to change Hoffbeast's ticket.  And then, when I wasn't looking, it arrived.

A simple email yesterday morning sent from the orphanage social worker via our AIAA rep:  "We have just received the Court order for JAGAT. Getting ready to apply for Passport."

It's here.  We can go get him.  And we will.....very soon.

Facebook Status Check

For those of you waiting for an update on our adoption travels (and other things happening around here), here's a glimpse at my FB statusii for the last couple of weeks, the most pertinent being the last one from today...

March 19:  Cleaning the floors in the house...sooooo excited that we get to move home soon!

March 22:  I have so much to do today! Praying for a productive day at the office!

March 23:  HOME!!!

March 25:  Doctors visit today....Beth isn't feeling well, and Rex is getting his shots for our trip. A bad and a good.

March 26:  Hoffbeauty would be lying if she said she wasn't just a wee bit stressed.

March 31:  Decision day: will the guardianship order come today, or won't it?

March 31:  I've sent 63 emails in the last 24 hours. It's busy season around here, people!

April 1:  Okay, our agency is closed on Fridays, so now the last of the wait begins. Agency rep told us that they will monitor emails this weekend and will let us know if the guardianship order is received. Suggested that we wait until Monday to make any changes to our itinerary. We agreed. But Monday is it....I can't stay in limbo-land any longer. :(

April 3:  It's Sunday early a.m. No news yet. I am sad, but am choosing to believe that God has good reasons for us needing to wait, if indeed He changes our plans. He is always good.

April 3:  Do you see that little yellow part of India on my profile pic? I want to go to there.

April 4:  My 3-year-old just said "texting". "What are you texting, Mommy?" And so it begins...

April 4:  Guess what? It's a national holiday in India today. Yippee.

April 4:  The downside: the Butler Bulldogs lose. The upside: Luther Vandross is back!!!

April 5:  TWO of my good friends had babies yesterday....pretty amazing! Now if I could only get my hands on our guardianship order, I could join them in the baby celebrating!

April 6:  This is it. What's it gonna be? Yay or nay?!

April 6:  It's a no. Sad day here. But just this morning, I said to a friend about a completely different situation, "This is a huge lesson for us to trust God when we receive something that sounds like bad news." Guess I get to practice what I preach now. Thank you, God, for being in this with us...

Still Maybe and Counting...

A week ago, I said that Friday was our deadline. On Thursday, our agency rep convinced us to hold off until today. This weekend, India won the Cricket World Cup, so today turned into a national holiday, and our agency said to wait until tomorrow. Wednesday is it...we have to decide by then because we very well may need to change plane tickets.

Welcome to my hurry up and wait world.

Playground Playtime

Untitled from Sarah Hoffman on Vimeo.

There is nothing super special about this video, just that it's a moment of playtime captured second by my camera, first by my heart.  To see the kiddos playing together...it's a special thing.  We were at a hotel last night, and there is a little play area in the yard behind the hotel.  This is the first time that Beth has been old enough and Rex responsible enough for them all to go out there without me.  Mind you, I was watching like a hawk from the window, but it was great.  Of course, it will be short-lived, as Jag will be home soon, and then we'll be back to having a little one.  For now, though it was a precious moment.

Things to note:  Beth saying "adios!" right before starting down the slide and the fact that she has her shoes on backwards, as she often does.  Three-year-olds are cute.  :)

Dinner at Perkins....yep, that's right!

In an attempt to get back to some normalcy--and some photo updates--on my blog, I'm just going to jump into where we were and what we were doing tonight.  Today, we headed over to see Jeff's mom, and as we often do, we went to...........Perkins for dinner!  Now, it's a funny thing about Perkins.  We used to roll our eyes every time Grandma mentioned it as a possible eatery, but the reality is that it's close by, it's comfortable for Gma, and it has pancakes!!!  What's the problem??!  The kids love it, and they usually have a nice little spot for our growing family.  Good to see everyone tonight...next time we sit around this table, there should be one more member of the happy little fleet!

 (from right): Rex with Aunt Mary, Beth with Cousin Molly, Molly's friend, Kim

 Neil with Grandma...and the Animals book

Jeff with his brother, Kevin

Kevin and Mary are crossing the Atlantic on the same night that Jeff is, so all three siblings will be in Europe at the same time!  Jeff will be in Turkey, and Kevin/Mary and Jill/Peter will be vacationing in Italy.  The hope is that Rex and I will then meet Jeff in Turkey and fly on to India.  Cousin Susie will be coming to stay with Grandma while her family is off traveling the globe...I hope she can keep her distracted enough so that she doesn't worry too much about us all!