Gotcha, Neil!

Nine years ago today, our precious Neil was placed in our arms...it will forever be one of the most wonderful moments of my life. I can't believe it's been so long ago...Neil, I love you forever and ever, no matter what! You are ours, and we are yours. Have an awesome GOTCHA day!

Happy New Year!

Bringing in the New Year @ TCX....happy 2015 from Hoffbeast, Rex, Neil, and me! As is typical, I've been quite reflective this evening...so thankful for our faithful God who goes before us no matter what circumstances come this year. For Neil, this was his first time getting to stay up with the students to ring in the new year...what an experience!

My Football Guy

Neil's first flag football game...it was SO fun to watch! Two TDs and two interceptions for him, and the final score was 31-0...nice!  

Neil had been waiting for years to play his favorite sport, and as his mama, I loved seeing the joy on his face in the above picture--and all throughout the season!  He was quite a football rock star....love you, Bud!

One more year of flag football, and then we probably move on to tackle....yikes! I'm holding out just as long as possible!

Soccer buds!

Here is Neil with one of his very best friends, J.  J is part of an amazing family, and we pray that these boys always stay close, encouraging each other toward the grace and gospel of Jesus Christ!  For the last few years, Neil and J have played soccer together.  That run ends this fall when Neil takes up flag football, and J goes on to further his work in martial arts.

But never fear....5th grade isn't too far away, and I have a feeling that when it comes, our school's soccer team is gonna be loving these guys!

Neil and his baby buddies

I was testing out my new scanner app on my phone...it worked very well! And look what a great image it captured...1-year-old Neil and his Ethiopian buddies, O and T!

BASKETBALL!

Neil is playing ball, and he loves it.  In fact, tonight he told me that he is done with soccer.  We'll see if that sentiment holds once soccer season rolls around.  ;)  For now, though, he is loving playing on the Pacers Upward team and so far, is the high scorer of the season!  Last week, he only scored 6 points...I think his high so far was 20 points!!  Pacers are 3-1 half-way through the season.  Way to go, buddy!!!

Presentation Day for Neil

Presentation Day in Neil's kindergarten class. Seen here with Mrs B. and with George Washington, whom he portrayed in the class play.  "Presentation Day" is a day at our school at the end of the year where each class gets to show off to the parents all they have learned during the year.  As is traditional at Presentation Day, Neil's teacher presented him with a book complete with an inscription--a character trait seen in him and a Bible verse to go along with it.

Mrs. B chose "enthusiasm" for Neil, and it is so perfect!  Neil IS enthusiastic about just about everything--granted, enthusiasm isn't always a good thing, but the Daddy and I get the privilege of helping him learn how to use his enthusiasm for his good and God's glory!

Mrs. B is going on maternity leave at the end of the week, so Presentation Day came a bit early for Neil's class.  She has been the perfect teacher this year for our son, and we are so grateful.

Thank you, Mrs. B., for all that you have poured into your students this year!  You have been a great blessing to Neil and to our whole family!  We will miss you next year!!!

Happy birthday again!

I do love my birthday...and I do love catching up on posts I always meant to write but never did.  After writing about Rex's last birthday, I looked back at all the pictures from Neil's birthday last year that never were shared.  Doesn't seem right. 

So again, without further ado, Neil's 6th birthday, last June, on the way to Colorado:

 Birthday pancakes at our India travel friends' house...made especially by Mr. McF!

 A little Birthday basketball while sister scootered...what a beautiful summer day!

 Birthday water gun

 A birthday dad attack!

 Birthday cupcakes

 Birthday with new friend, B

 A birthday attempt-to-get-the-siblings-to-all-pose-for-the-camera.  It didn't work.

And finally, after a fun morning with friends and a long traffic-filled afternoon, a birthday dinner somewhere in Missouri.....at the favorite fast-food place of any child in America.  Gotta love McDonald's for road-tripping!

I love you so much, Bud!  You are so passionate about whatever you do, whether playing basketball or soccer or football or baseball....or hugging your mama.  :)  I know that you think Dad is cooler, but I also know that you think I'm the "best mom in the world"....I'll take it!  How is it possible that you are now going on 7 years old?  You were my baby a minute ago!  I love the young boy that you are growing into, and I can't wait to watch and see what God is going to do with your life.  Always treasure Him above all else...

The Missing Piece

I knew there was something we were missing, but I just haven't been able to figure it out.

It's a tiger.  That's what we need.

Today at our parent/teacher conference, Neil's teacher explained a little more about these fantastic peaks into his little imagination that we are getting.  She said that she always gives the kids a question, and they have to answer it in words and then draw it out.  It's part of their writing curriculum, and in it, they are looking to express detail. 

It's hard to argue with this.  That is some serious detail.

Grrrrowl!

(By the way, Neil's teacher gave him high marks in almost everything, with the exception being penmanship...not because he can't do it, but because he rushes and his work ends up sloppy.  Thank you, competitve spirit, for that one!  So we're going to work on that.  Also, he is still quite tired in the afternoons, so 2 days a week, he will be coming home at half-day, and we'll keep evaluating in case even more time at home would be good for him.  After this year, we won't have a choice...it'll be all day, every day for the next 12 years.

A few more afternoons with Neil at home will be good for me him.  He's growing up so fast...)

K5 Thanksgiving Feast!

Neil is in a wonderful K5 class at a wonderful school.  He has wonderful friends and a wonderful teacher.  We are so thankful.  There is something about a kindergarten Thankgiving feast...I'm not sure, but for me, it's some sort of rite of passage.  Maybe it's because I have memories from Thanksgiving in kindergarten.  My teacher, Mrs. Foster, and my mom, who was the other kindergarten teacher, always asked their students how to cook a turkey and then wrote down the responses.  I have a vague memory of this little interview outside my classroom, and now here is my son, arm around his buddy, chowing down on his feast so fast that I couldn't even get a picture before his plate was empty.  I remember very well Rex's feast when he was in K5...and now he's a 4th grader!  The time goes so fast, and I want to be busy capturing the memories while I can...so that I will still remember later.

Captured Instagrammly

Neil and his friend, C, enjoying their kindergarten class's Thanksgiving Day celebration feast today! 

(Neil WAS enjoying it; he just was refusing to smile correctly for the picture.  It's kind of his new thing.)

Giving it up

I feel like we're pretty different most of the time.  He is rough-and-tumble, competitive, athletic, and really likes to eat--a lot.  And he's anything but compliant.  I'm not always compliant now, but I sure was when I was a little girl.  I've never been too athletic, although I do like to try, but few people would describe me as competitive.  And I don't eat that much--at least, not when I was little, I didn't.

But tonight, something hit me. 

We're actually a lot alike, at least in one area.....our desire for control.

I have seen it in him since he first came home almost six years ago.  And I know that I struggle with areas of control.  But I've never seen--or noticed--the two bumping up against each other like they did tonight.

He knows how to push my buttons, that's for sure, but that's where the description usually ends for me.  Tonight, I saw a relationship between my need for control and his ability to push.  It goes like this:

I give an instruction.  He pushes back and won't comply.  I require compliance.  He won't comply still.  I get angry because he won't do what I'm asking and because my time is now being taken up with such a silly little thing that is turning into something much bigger than is necessary.  He continues his refusal.  I apply consequences.  He screams or cries, vying for control.  I get irritated by his fit and end up yelling, being harsh, or something else that results in a quick erasure of the smile I likely had on my face before this whole thing began.

It happened today.  Quite a few times.  Not an easy day with my Neil.

I love him with a passion--a deep, rich, passionate passion that I'm having trouble describing in words.  I can close my eyes and feel my love for him, but I can't write it out.  A mother's love...that's the way it often is, I suppose.  Deeper and more real and more solid and more committed than words do justice.  Just a tiny, dim reflection of the kind of love the Father has for us...a kind of love that couldn't be described in words but only in actions.  It needed a cross to illustrate it fully.  And on the cross, Jesus laid down His life for me, readily giving up control so that I could have life.

Am I willing to do the same for my son?  Lord, help me to reflect Your kind of love to my precious little boy...thank you for my son, Neil.  He is my guy, and I wouldn't trade him for all the control in the world.

Colorado or Bust!

Every other summer, our family heads out to Colorado for our summer staff conference and classes.  I am on the conference team, and Jeff takes seminary classes in the weeks leading up to the "big conference".  This summer, we made the decision to only go out for July (rather than for the normal June and July) because of just recently returning from India.  It was a good decision, as we were able to bond together as a family at our home, be involved a little bit with summer project, and have time to unpack before packing again.

Okay, that's funny.  To me, anyway.  :)

So here we are, just inside Kansas, and I once again find myself in a dark, quiet hotel room with everyone sleeping soundly behind me.  I wonder how many of these posts have been written with that exact scenario?

We started our journey on Saturday.  Rex, Beth, Tom, and I left in our Buicci to drive down to southern Illinois, where my dad was born and my aunt and uncle still live.  On Sunday, Neil and Hoffbeast joined us.  Without a doubt, I drove through the worst rainstorm I've ever driven in on Saturday...it was a torrential downpour for about 3 hours, and we stopped under overpasses around a dozen times or so.  I have rarely been so happy to be somewhere safely.

The gang (minus me) with my Aunt Gela and Uncle Jasper (my dad's twin brother)...we love visiting with them and were so glad that Mom and Dad came over, too!  Uncle Jasper said that we have to come at least once a year...sounds good to me!

The reason we drove separately is that we had decided to give the Buicci to my mom, who, along with Dad, was meeting us in Dahlgren.  Now that we bought our new-to-us van, we didn't need it anymore, so it was a blessing to be able to pass on that gift to her like it had been given to us back in December.  Once again, we have seen God meet our needs...it was the perfect interim car for the months that we needed it.  Now we find ourselves with our Escort (still going after almost 13 years!) and our new van....the Hoffvan!  Almost a year after our beloved Town & Country was stolen, we can now spread out again!  :)  We are thankful!

Yesterday we left my family and headed a couple of hours west to the home of our fabulous India travel friends.  What a great joy it was to see them again!  We are incredibly grateful that we were able to share the trip-of-a-lifetime with them, and to see our families fully-together....fantastic!

Trampoline Fun with our friends...it was so sweet to see L and Tom together again!

This morning, as usual, Neil was the first one up.  I called him over to me and whispered, "Happy birthday, Buddy!"  I can't believe--literally can hardly believe--that six years have passed since he was born.  Five months later, we would first see his picture, and life would change...forever.

Pancakes for breakfast....thank you, Mr. McF!

We love you, Neil...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Next stop:  Our home for the summer....Colorado!!!

Our Cramazing May, Episode III

On Friday, May 13, we picked Neil up from school, said our goodbyes to Rex who would stay with a friend that night, and left for our friends' house, where Neil would stay for our first week+ gone.  We met John and Melanie through our first adoption process, and although we don't see them too often, we have a deep and special connection that comes from knowing that our sons spent some of their early days in the same orphanage.  We were in the same travel group in Ethiopia with Melanie, and all these years later, our boys are friends...it's wonderful.

About a year before, Melanie had told me that whenever we were able to go to India, we could feel free to leave Neil with them....so glad that we took them up on the offer, as he ended up having an amazing 9 days there.  He loved her cooking, and he loved riding "his" bike up and down their street! 

On our way, we stopped at a car dealership and looked at a 12-passenger van, which, yes, is going to be our next vehicle.  We loved it and are now kicking ourselves for not putting a down payment on it then, as it was the best deal we've found.  Oh well.  Anyway, it was fun to sit in this big van, imagining the reality that our family was growing and would soon be closer to actually filling up a van like that!  One more week, and we'd be meeting our Tom!

We got to their house, and Melanie had made (of course--she's a great cook!) a delicious dinner of spaghetti and meatballs and then had whipped up some equally delicious dessert.  She does all things kitchen so effortlessly...just one of the things I appreciate about my friend.  I want to be like her when I grow up!

Here are the boys...Mel's sons--S, D, and O--and our Neil, fitting right in! (with dads in the background)  The boys also have 2 sisters, T (pictured further down) and K.  It was a full house, and Neil loved it!

 And the silly face pose....why is it that boys always want the silly face pose?!

It was beautiful to see that God had prepared Neil for this whole thing...Mama and Daddy were leaving for over 2 weeks, and he accepted it with such grace.  He was ready--excited, even--for us to go.  He kept asking, "When is it time to go to O's house?!"  Well, finally it was time, and to see him sitting there, interacting so easily with his "brothers for a week", was a blessing to my heart, as I knew that he was going to do great while we were gone!

After dinner, the kids ran downstairs and played to their hearts' contents while the adults visited--for a little bit, but not too long...we still had lots of packing to do and needed to get home to do it!  But Neil made leaving our friends' house easy for us, as he was having such a good time with his friends!  In fact, I cried, but he didn't!  It took a whole bunch of effort on Melanie's part to even get him out to the porch to wave goodbye as we were driving away!  We knew that Neil was in wonderful hands, and we left with peace in our hearts. 

THANK YOU, John and Melanie, for letting God use you in this way.  Our son loved spending time at your house, and we are so grateful that he was safe and well-loved while we were gone!

16 of 31 - Gotcha Day Celebration Dinner

Gotcha Day in our family calls for a trip to the Ethiopian restaurants in town, so tonight, we went to dinner downtown.  It was delicious, as usual (although also, as usual, the littles didn't seems to like it quite as much as the big people in their lives)!

We feasted on lamb, beef, chicken (cooked with the traditional hard-boiled egg), lentils and, of course, injera...lots of injera!  My favorite were the beef cubes, but by far, Rex preferred the lentils.  Neil ate a little of everything, even some of the egg and the chicken on the bone.  Beth...well, hmm...Beth didn't like it so much.

Beth trying to figure out what to do with the injera

Our friend, Desi, came with us to dinner.  He was with us two years ago, and we thought it fitting to ask him again.  He's had a very rough go of life, but he sure does have an amazing, happy smile!

Kara and Neil sportin' their Packer colors while celebrating Neil's Gotcha Day and Kara's birthday, all rolled into one!  You've been home for five years now, Neil...we love you more than we can express.  And I love how you love the Green Bay Packers.  :) 

14 of 31

Some fav photos of our Gotcha Guy, taken in the last 6 months or so...

13 of 31 - Gotcha Day #5

You were laughing and giggling.  I'd never laid eyes on your face in person, but I knew that it was you.  My heart was convinced already.

We had slept for a few hours in a room on the floor above yours.  When she invited us to meet you, we quickly abandoned our breakfast remains in order to follow her.

A quick walk downstairs, a few steps to the end of hall, and the laughter--stopped once you saw us.

You didn't know what to think.  But we knew.  We would never be the same.

And it's true.  For five years now, our arms have held the precious gift of you.  Five years today.  You are a treasure, beloved through and through.

In some ways, you have been steadfast in your understanding, and in other ways, you question.  Push.  Pull.  Fight.  Fit. 

But we are here.  Always.  And at the point of acceptance and faith in a love that won't quit, you relent.  And rest.  And breathe.  And hug.....oh, you hug!  And sometimes, you even grow a little.

And there is peace in my heart.

I love you, Buddy.....with my heart heart.