Our Cramazing May, Episode XXX: Afternoon at Basundhara

After lunch, he was Daddy's.  And Daddy was his.  Period.  Daddy got himself a little Shadow, and he never let go--for most of the rest of our time in India.  :)  My husband was a rock star, holding Tom, comforting him, entertaining him, and in every other way taking care of him.  The fact that Tom had chosen Daddy as his comfort person was such a blessing, as I had so many details--paperwork, communication, and the ever-elusive passport--to take care of.  But it is worth saying that Hoffbeast was sooooo patient.  Sooooo patient!!!!  I feel like it would have been exhausting to have Tom attached to me constantly, but Daddy never seemed to mind, and if he did mind, he didn't let it show.  This was his son, after all!  :)  He would do anything to keep him safe and help make him feel all the love that his new family had for him!

While walking back to the "family room", we saw an SUV parked in the courtyard downstairs and were told that an Indian family had come to adopt one of the babies.  Basundhara has an active campaign of trying to educate families in India about adoption, and only the children who find no family there will be allowed to be adopted internationally.

The separation from Soudemani had exhausted Tom, and he quickly went to his go-to how-to-deal-with-stress M.O.--sleep!

So Hoffbeast napped, too!  :)

After naps, it was lunchtime for us,  Swati and her helper brought in delicious food as well as the thing we were craving most--water!  (I'm not really mentioning the heat much because it's not what stands out in my memory about our time there......but it was HOT!  Totally worth it, but HOT nonetheless!)

One of the beautiful teenage girls at Basundhara...if she isn't adopted, she will go to the older girls' home soon to either learn a trade or perhaps, to come back and nanny at Basundhara.  She was embarrassed and didn't want me taking her picture, but I'm so glad that I insisted!  What a gorgeous smile!  :)

Next, it was time for a tour of Basundhara....this is the medical intake room where kids are first examined by a doctor when they arrive at the orphanage.  The wall decorations were...interesting...and kinda funny.  It was strange and wonderful to stand in that room, knowing that our little guy had been examined there as a baby and that all the information we had of his medical history had started there.  Like much at the orphanage, it was sparse....sparse, but adequate.  Again, I'm so thankful for this place!

One of my "assignments" for my time at Basundhara was to find Celina, this sweet little girl who was being adopted by my internet friend, Molly.  Celina was preparing to meet her 4 new siblings, 3 of whom had also been adopted from Basundhara.  I had been asked to take pictures and to measure her so that Molly could get/make clothes for her.  Celina, who is mostly deaf, joined her new family a few months after we met Tom.  Again, Rex loved her, and she seemed to enjoy him, too--he was so good with all the kids!

We had brought stickers and silly bands, and BOTH were big hits--even with the caregivers!  (Notice that L had changed into a different outfit while waiting for her parents to arrive.)

Next on the schedule....snack time!!  We went back to Tom's room to watch the action and found a sleeping baby Sanatana, another one of the kids I was supposed to be checking on.  He came home in October and is doing great!  What a sweetie!  To this day, Tom is really good with babies...I think he got lots of practice with Sanatana!

Two videos follow.  In the first, Tom says "mama" clearly.  It is PRECIOUS!  In the second, Soudemani has him on her lap for porridge feeding...it's a short version of the longer video we have that was taken when he was just seven months old.  It's how he had always been fed, and it worked for him, although it looks SO strange to us!

The last stop on our walk around Basundhara for that afternoon was a visit to Laxmi.  Before leaving for India, Laxmi's family had recorded themselves reading a story to Laxmi and had sent us the book to deliver in person.  Laxmi's parents traveled to India just about a month after we did, so it was important that Laxmi, who is blind, be able to HEAR her family's voices.  Rex took video while I held the book and turned the pages, and the smile never left her face!
 

This is the last picture of L that I took before she met her parents and life changed.  Here she is, pictured with R and one of the caregivers, who isn't much more than a child herself.  I don't know this, but I assume that this caregiver grew up at Basundhara.  I love this picture of R and L...and I sure would love to see one of them together now!

Our Cramazing May, Episode XXIX: Lunchtime for Tom

Shortly after the video shoot was over, it was time for Tom to go to his room for lunch.  This would turn out to be a pivotal time for us as we sat on the floor with the kids and with Soudemani, their caregiver.  It was during this lunch that Tom looked at his daddy with those adoring little eyes and seered the words, "I choose you!" onto his heart.  You see, Hoffbeast already loved--by choice--his son with a passion, but the son had been an unwilling participant in this arrangement until this point.  But over the course of a few short minutes, the love of the father drew Tom in and won him over.

This is one of the many pictures of the heavenly Father that we see in this beautiful story of adoption.  Once an orphan, I, too, like Tom, was chosen for love by my Father.  But I didn't know it.  Nor did I know how to receive the love being offered.  But His Spirit is patient, and He wooed me, drawing me to Himself.  And, one day, I knew Love.

I'm pretty sure the other sweet little kiddos in Tom's room got a picture of a daddy's love that day, too.  I pray that they all will one day know that kind of love...forever.

While sitting on the floor, watching the lunchtime routine, I talked with Swati, who sat next to me.  It was in this casual, normal, everyday-to-them environment that she told us Tom's story.  The story that never made its way to his paperwork.  The story that he will be free to tell one day if he wishes.  The story that likely would have been lost in the shuffle had it not been for the relationship that had already been established.  Swati and I had an immediate connection, and I felt free to ask the questions I needed to ask.  What did his name mean?  What were first few days like?  How did he get to Basundhara?  This information, shared that afternoon around the dinner "table", is so precious, and we will always be thankful that we were able to learn some of these answers. 

It was also during this time that we heard the story of precious little Naomi, the little girl I've thought of nearly every day for the last year.  Naomi's story will not be shared on here, but suffice it to say that her story is a painful one shared by all too many little girls in India.  Naomi's life is a miracle, and I pray that the Lord is preparing her for her family and her family for her.  And I pray that she will be home soon, and that one day I can see her sweet face again in person.  She had grabbed my attention early on in some of the pictures and in one of the videos that we had received of Tom...it was wonderful to sit in that room with her beside me, knowing that she was being left in a good place until a good family could be found for her.  If they called me today and asked if we would adopt her, we would say yes, but they won't; Indian adoption doesn't work that way.  And besides--she has a family, so we've been told.  Naomi and Tom spent a year-and-a-half of their lives as roommates, so I would love to get in contact with her new family so that we can stay in touch over the years.

Other things to note in the following video...I love that we have Soudemani on camera, telling us what to feed Tom.  She says that he should have one hard-boiled egg per day and fish once a week.  And she was rather adament about it!  :)  Also, sitting in the background is a little girl in blue, R.  R was pictured in many of Tom's photographs that we had received from Basundhara before we arrived, and our understanding is that she was the little girl assigned to live in that room and help Soudemani with the babies.  That might not be quite right, but it's something like that.  R's story became very intertwined with ours later, so stay tuned!

There is much to be said about our time at Basundhara that fits in the category of "When in Rome, do as the Romans."  We didn't know what to expect, but we know enough about become third-culture people NOT to go in and pretend that we...knew what to expect.  It was important that we took things as they came, that we got down on the floor, that we didn't react to the fact that Tom was both feeding himself and getting food shoveled in by Soudemani (We're pretty sure that he was a bit favored, being one of the only boys...he got a LOT of food!), that we listen hard to hear through the accent and appreciate that they were trying to speak English...I certainly didn't know a bit of Oriya! 

Our time at the orphanage was as good as it was partly because we made our time there be more than just about meeting Tom.  Yes, that was why we were there.  But if we had taken him and run, we would have missed out on the relationships, on the experience, on the simply being there and seeing life as he had known it for all those months.  He took his first bottle there.  He rolled over for the first time while there.  He spoke his first word there.  He took his first step there.  This was and IS a very important place in our son's life, and taking it all in was not going to be missed by me.  I don't regret one second of our being there...in fact, I wish we could have stayed longer, and I'd love to go back someday!  Basundhara is a place where children are well loved and cared for....and we are so grateful that this was Tom's home while he was waiting for us.

Update - 10 p.m. Tuesday, April 24

It's been six days since I've written an update...where has the time gone?  We are down to single digits....just NINE days to go 'til the casts come off!

Tom is doing great overall!  We seems to be in a pattern of 2 or 3 really good days, followed by a day where anything sets him off and he's frustrated about everything.  Friday was tough, the weekend was good, then yesterday was rough again.  But today was a great day, with our little trooper full of smiles, hugs, and kisses!  :)

Please keep praying for our family....we are all ready to see what's under those casts, but we're doing fine while we wait!  Praise God for answering prayers!

A specific prayer request right now is related to finances.  We have been waiting to hear whether or not there is financial assistance available to us relating specifically to the physician's fees.  Today, the person I need to talk to called me, but I missed her call.  Please pray that I'll be able to talk to her tomorrow and that we will find favor with the powers that be.  So thankful that God is in control and that He is continuing to meet every one of our financial needs related to Tom's adoption and now this surgery....He is so faithful! 

Presentation Day for Neil

Presentation Day in Neil's kindergarten class. Seen here with Mrs B. and with George Washington, whom he portrayed in the class play.  "Presentation Day" is a day at our school at the end of the year where each class gets to show off to the parents all they have learned during the year.  As is traditional at Presentation Day, Neil's teacher presented him with a book complete with an inscription--a character trait seen in him and a Bible verse to go along with it.

Mrs. B chose "enthusiasm" for Neil, and it is so perfect!  Neil IS enthusiastic about just about everything--granted, enthusiasm isn't always a good thing, but the Daddy and I get the privilege of helping him learn how to use his enthusiasm for his good and God's glory!

Mrs. B is going on maternity leave at the end of the week, so Presentation Day came a bit early for Neil's class.  She has been the perfect teacher this year for our son, and we are so grateful.

Thank you, Mrs. B., for all that you have poured into your students this year!  You have been a great blessing to Neil and to our whole family!  We will miss you next year!!!

Our Cramazing May, Episode XXVIII: Cuttack Tigers

After our time in the playroom was over, we followed Swati (our gracious host) out to the courtyard area, where many of the children were gathered.  We just watched, not really knowing what exactly was going on, until Swati finally told us that there was a cricket ad campaign going on that included various teams' flags and logos being seen in various parts of Orissa.  The Cuttack Tigers had chosen to film their ad at least partly at Tom's orphanage, and the children had been given flags to wave and were parading through the courtyard, waving the flags and cheering for the Tigers!

We got there just in time for the big entrance!  P was happy to hold her little buddy, Tom, and Tom was happy to be held. 

We are SO thankful for P....she was a godsend, comforting our precious boy before we were really able to do so.

Trying to get lined up, shortest to tallest...

A little cutie peaking out at the camera...I LOVE this shot and wonder, every time I see it, if this sweet little girl has a family yet...

All lined up and ready to go!  The girl in purple is L, our friend's daughter with whom we would spend much of the next week and a half.  Her parents were arriving this day, so she was dressed in her prettiest clothes and was on. the. lookout.  Nothing got past her!

Eventually, P put Tom down, and he got into the action...just a little bit.  ;)

I absolutely love the above pictures!  This is Laxmi, and she was set to go home to her family about a month after we were there.  As it was, we had been connected with her parents, and they had sent us a gift to give to her.  Spending time with Laxmi was one of the great privileges of our time at Basundhara.  She is a beautiful girl whose smile can light up a room!  Laxmi is missing one eye and is quite near-sighted in the other, so while we were with her, we got to witness her tenacity and curiousity as she didn't let her special need slow her down for one second!  She was always leading other kids around and would use her sense of touch to "see" whatever she needed to see.  In the first picture, she is "seeing" Rex by touching his arm...it was so cute!  Then, once they had been "introduced", they had a wonderful time together!  Rex really grew to adore Laxmi, and I hope that one day, we will get to see her again and meet her family in person...what a lovely little girl!

A Little Pre-Surgery Lovin' for your Morning!

Update - 11:30 p.m. Wednesday, April 18

Hello, praying and caring friends and family!

It's been a good day on the Tom scene, and I have good news to report.  I am tired and should go to bed (Sorry, Mom, that I'm not in bed yet!), so I will try to be brief...

-After getting my schedule rearranged for the day (Thank you, Emily, for being so flexible!), I talked to Dawn this morning, and they were able to get Tom in today for cast reinforcement.  It went very well--the Occupational Therapist was great!--and Tom now has a very reinforced cast that this mama feels MUCH better about.  Run all you want, kiddo!  But please don't jump still.

-After said appointment, we came home, where Tom promptly decided that today was the day that he would crawl up the steps.  We have a lot of steps, people!  He's amazing.

-Late this afternoon, a scene that made my heart melt....Beth and Tom were playing "mama and daddy", just like they did pre-surgery.  It was the sweetest thing!  They were walking around, talking pretend and taking care of their "sweeties" just like they did before we entered Castland.  I thought to myself, "We are back to normal."

I am so grateful.  The worst (for this time around) is behind us.  The pain is gone, the cast is reinforced, the swelling is down, and the frustrations are manageable.

Praise the LORD, for He is good.  His love endures forever.  Goodnight.

Update - 11 p.m. Tuesday, April 17

Quick little update before bed.

Not long after writing my last post, I picked up our home phone and heard the familiar "beep beep beep beep" on the line, telling me that we had messages.

I can't believe that I missed Dawn's call yesterday!  Turns out that Dr. Daley's medical assistant had called back late yesterday morning wanting Tom to come in for a cast reinforcement as soon as possible.

Oops.

It's mostly good news, though.  She said that Dr. Daley isn't too concerned about the fact that Tom is walking so much (That's good, cuz he's walking a lot!).  He is concerned, however, that they are able to get the cast reinforced from the ankle down.  So more good news in that they won't have to remove the cast and start all over.  Hurray!  I'm assuming that reinforcing will be much more tolerable than recasting.

Tomorrow is nearly impossible for me to get him in because I keep my friend's son on Wednesdays, and I'm not hauling 3 kiddos in there for the procedure.  No way.  So we will wait 'til Thursday and hope that no more of the cast is ripped away during his near-acrobatics.  Today he was jumping--jumping!--on his cast, and he tried to climb up on the arm of the couch for a jump off.  Nope.  That's where I draw the line.  Not happening.

So we will likely go in on Thursday morning.  Dawn is going to call us back in the morning with a specific time.

Thanks for praying for this.....we have seen answered prayer!

And now back to our regularly-scheduled program...

Some of you have just begun reading my blog in the last few weeks in an effort to keep up on Tom and his surgery/recovery.  Thank you so much for joining us!  I will continue updating here with his progress.

However, I will also be doing something else again.  For the last 11 months, I have been working to document our travel to India last year when we first met Tom.  I have given myself 'til his Gotcha Day (just a mere 1 month and 3 days from now) to finish.  And considering the fact that I am currently on Day 8 of a 24-day adventure, I'd say I have a lot of work to do...good thing I've always worked well under pressure!

So, if you want to just get updates on Tom's current situation, click "Surgery" in the list to the right or simply scroll down 'til you see the word "Update" in the post title.  But if you'd like to follow on our journey to India and back, read along!

(And don't forget to comment here and there...it's nice to know who's reading!)

Update - 3 p.m. Tuesday, April 17

It means so much to know that so many of you are praying and checking in on Tom....thank you.

Today is a big day around here because........it's Tom's BIRTHDAY!!  Last year on this day, I was at an HLIC intern training weekend with our new interns, and they very sweetly brought me a cheesecake (my favorite!) with a candle on top to celebrate the little soul I loved on the other side of the planet.  We wanted to be in India by then (and had thought that we would be), but God's timing was perfect, and we didn't meet Tom until May 20.

This year, May 20 will serve as our major celebration, mostly so that he can actually dig into his cake and rip open his presents with his own hands.  Last night (my mom's last night here visiting), we had cupcakes, and Tom blew out his 3 candles with much fanfare before opening the present from Grandma.  It was a perfectly small and appropriate celebration for a guy in 3 casts.

But wait 'til May 20.......it's gonna be fun!  A Gotcha Day/Birthday/Casts are off combined celebration......can't wait!

Yesterday was a better day, and today, Tom went down for his nap without incident.  Yesterday was the first day that he was medication-free...I won't hesitate to use it if he starts complaining again, but he seems to be doing fine so far.  I also called the surgeon yesterday about the cast situation.  Dr. Daley was in surgery, but his medical assistant seemed to think that he would probably want to recast Tom's foot, but she also told me that her call back to us would dictate the urgency.  She said that we would hear back by Wednesday at the latest.  So far, nothing.  So I'm guessing that it doesn't seem urgent, which is great!  Maybe it's fine so long as he's not complaining and isn't showing signs of an infection?

Again, thank you for your prayers and your concern.  I am incredibly grateful that my mom was able to be here for 5 days and for all of the friends and "family" that we have around here  You know who you are, those who have brought meals and done our laundry without being asked....thank you.

Smells like Dirty Laundry

I told Rex that one of Tom's medicines tastes like cloves.  And Tom obviously doesn't like the taste of cloves because of how he reacts whenever I give it to him.

Now, Rex is telling everyone that, "Tom doesn't like his medicine, because it tastes like dirty laundry."

I was confused at first, but then I got it.  Clothes.  Cloves.  Dirty Laundry.  That's funny.

I love that kid.

Update - 10 p.m. Sunday, April 15

I realize that as the days go by, my updates are less and less frequent.  Makes sense, I suppose...we are embracing our "new normal" and are trying to resume life with son and little brother in casts.  We have just 2 1/2 weeks to go before they are removed, assuming we make it that long.

Tomorrow I will be calling Dr. Daley because...Houston, we may have a problem.  This weekend, what began on Friday as a wobbly walk has turned into an almost-run in said cast.  Dr. Daley had told us that he had bent Tom's leg at a 90-degree angle specifically so that he couldn't walk on it.  He said that the more weight that is put on the foot, the more scar tissue.  Um, the bend is not slowing him down.

He can roll, and he can crawl.  But what's the point of all that if he can also RUN!  Did I mention that he caught his foot cast on something, and a large piece tore off of the bottom?  Yep.  To the point where I can now tickle two of his toes without trying very hard.

So I think we need a convo with the doc.  I certainly don't want to have him re-casted....I'm sure that that would be awful.  Not a fun prospect.  But even less fun is the idea that he is developing excessive scar tissue and/or that he is injuring his knees because of the weird way he is walking (He has been complaining about his left knee.).

Prayer requests:
-that we could get a clear answer from the doc about the leg cast situation.
-that the pain both in his right hand and at the circumcision site would cease.
-that any muscle spasms he's having in his right hand would stop.
-that Tom's frustration level would be contained.

Poor guy....it IS frustrating to go from being such an active guy to being told that you have to be carried everywhere; to want to play with your cars that you love but realizing that you can't grip them; to love to eat but have to wait for someone to feed you every single breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack and to not even be able to take a drink of water without help.

We love him so much............thanks for praying for him and for standing with us.  God is faithful and good and enough.  And we thank Him.

Here is a short video of Tom walking on wobbly legs late last week.....rest assured that he is wobbly no more!

Parkin' it up!

Grandma and Tom at the park this morning.

We made it out of the house!  :)

Update - 7 a.m. Friday

It's 7 a.m., and I am waiting for the big kids to get downstairs so that they can eat breakfast before heading off to school.  The Littles?  I expect that they will sleep for another hour or so because.....they've been sleeping late every day since the surgery!!!  NICE!

I really think that Tom is just completely wearing himself out during the day and so is exhausted by the time nightfall comes, so he just sleeps away at night.  Fine by me!  I thoroughly expected that we would be doing middle-of-the-night wakeups with him for the first week or two....kind of thought it would be like having a newborn in that way.  Nope.

But in other ways, it actually has been.  One of the fun things about this week has been seeing Tom accomplish some "firsts".  Of course, we missed seeing his actual first rolling over, crawling, and walking.  But this week, we have celebrated each milestone with smiles, claps, and jumping up and down!  Yesterday, he almost RAN!  I actually am having to slow him down now and tell him to crawl instead of walk because 1) the doctor said that the less weight on his casts, the less scar tissue and 2) he actually tore a part of the bottom of his cast off yesterday!

THANK YOU for praying and for following along with Tom's story!  I know that the Lord is sustaining us, and I am confident that He is using the prayers of His people.

Yesterday, I made his appointment to get the casts off....we are at 20 days and counting.  Our sweet HLIC staff Tang and Bridget made a paper chain to count the days down--it took two people because it was so creative and fun!  He's doing great, folks!

(Maybe in another post, I'll write about the frustrations....because there are some.  But overall things are going so well that I don't want to focus on the negative for too long.)

Update - 10:30 p.m. Tuesday

I was not so naive to assume that it would all be roses, so in some ways, today wasn't a huge surprise.  On the other hand, it sure was nice to write all happy posts!  :)

This afternoon/evening was rough.  Real rough.  I think that I made a mistake in taking him off of the pain meds as quickly as I did.  I mean, I'm not sure if he's technically in pain or if he's just really uncomfortable.  Either way, his agitation level increased a lot this afternoon around lunchtime and really kept going for much of the day.

Could be pain and/or discomfort.  Or could just be a general frustration.  Today, he learned all sorts of new things!  And while that makes the mama very happy, it almost made Tom more frustrated--maybe like since he can figure this thing out, why can't he figure that one out, too?

For the sake of documentation, I should tell you that today, he let Beth put the goldfish in between his thumb and his cast so that he could feed himself.  He crawled into his "car" and on his "tractor" by himself.  Yes, by himself!  And he rolled all the way from one room to a far-away other one, just to get to where sissy was playing.  He's making great progress.

But tomorrow, the return of the pain meds.  Not the heavy-duty stuff, mind you, but at least some consistent medicine that doesn't completely wear off before the next dosage.

Sleep well...I'm hoping for another good night of sleep here, too!

Update - 9:30 a.m. Tuesday

Ten hours, folks.  He slept for 10 straight hours last night, all in his own bed.  And this morning, he says that his right hand is better, too!  God be praised....he is healing and getting us through these first few rough days.  WOOHOO!!!  So far this morning, he and Beth are enjoying their tv time today (Thank you, PBS Kids!) with very few complaints.  Hoping the day continues to go this well...

Update - 11:30 p.m. Monday

Heading to bed soon, but first, an update on our day/night.

Oh wait, before that, an update on my nap.  It. was. wonderful!!!

Today found some big progress coming Tom's way: 

-Today was his first day with only ibuprofen for pain (still on the valium for the muscle spasms in his right hand, but hopefully that will only be for a few more days).  I think that's pretty amazing.

-He ended up figuring out how to not only pick up goldfish crackers today, but actually get them in his mouth!  He picks up the cracker with his left hand and pushes his left hand to his face with his right arm.  The resiliency is astounding!

-Tonight, he decided that he would practice moving from one place to another by rolling.  And before we knew it, he was rolling all around the room!  And army-crawling a bit, too.  When he crawls, he mostly goes backward (It's easier that way.), and sometimes he says "beep beep beep" like a truck going backward.  Hilarious.

Thank you so much for your prayers and encouragement.  We are grateful........and Kash, thanks for the meal tonight.  It was delicious!  :)

Update - 1:30 p.m. Monday

Just got Tom down for his nap (which he went to easily--praise God!), and I'm about to lie down for a nap myself.  But before I do, I wanted to quickly report that last night's sleep was wonderful...in fact, I'm kind of surprised I'm so tired still.  It's all catching up to me, I suppose.

Tom slept from 10 last night to 2:30, when he took his medicine, then again from then until 7:30 or so.  So good!

This morning, he figured out how to pick up cereal pieces by squeezing them between his thumb and his cast.  Problem is that becamse of the bend in his cast, he can't reach his mouth...but he could reach Beth, so he was "feeding" her.  It was great!  Then a friend of mine came over and entertained him for awhile, and I think she wore him out!  He is letting me feed him without a fuss, so that's good news....his favorite meal these days is soup with rice in it, so we're going with that for now.

He's still compaining about his right hand hurting, but he's taking much less of the pain medicine, so I think we are making progress there...keep praying--the little guy had so much work done on his right hand that it must be very painful.

And now--my nap...zzzz....

Update - 10:30 p.m. Sunday

We are home, and Tom is asleep in his crib!  Best part about the night was when he fell asleep on his floor while I was reading stories to him and the other kids.  Oh--and having his purple leg cast signed...that was a high point as well.

Other than that, a lot of the evening was tough...I lost track of how many times tonight he said "I can't do it!"  He is brave and strong and creative and curious, and I have no doubt that in very short order, he will figure it out.  But for a few days at least, I think it's going to be difficult.

I got word today that my mom is coming up for a few days starting on Thursday, so that will be wonderful.  And our team has taken over the task of providing dinners for us this week.  Praising God for our sweet little community here--our "family" in Milwaukee.

Getting home was challenging--I'm not gonna lie--on a bunch of fronts.  We are at the beginning of this long month.....we need perseverence for the task before us and patience with one another as we tackle it.  Thank you again for your prayers!

Update - 4:30 p.m. Sunday

I'm amazed at how little time there is here at the hospital to hop on here and give a quick update. Between feeding and changing Tom, giving him meds, interacting with the medical staff, and just the general doing-whatever-I-can-to-make-Tom-comfortable, there is simply not a lot of down time.

Today has been about 10 times better than yesterday...maybe 20 times better! I didn't get to sleep until 6 a.m., but was able to sleep til about 10, and since then, Tom has eaten 3 eggs (and lots of other stuff--his appetite is returning!), banged on some toys from the playroom, and even figured out how to stand on his left leg using his right cast for balance. We have his pain managed much better today, so that is good. The new challenge is that, with feeling better comes new frustrations that he can't do all the things he is used to doing, like getting out of bed on his own, picking things up, and feeding himself.

We are heading home in about an hour. The daddy came with the kids earlier today, and we had a nice little Easter lunch in the hospital cafe with just our family. Rex stayed with me to help entertain Tom while I packed up and Hoffbeast took the others home for the afternoon. Soon, he will return and pick us up...it'll be good to get home!

Update - 5:00 a.m. Sunday

It's nearly 5 a.m. He just fell asleep (Praise the Lord!) after being awake since midnight. I think I'll stay up to watch the Easter sunrise, and then I will sleep as long as he/they will let me...

Update - 8:30 p.m. Saturday

It has been a very long day. Tom was in a lot of pain for much of the day but is finally sleeping. First time he's slept since 9 a.m. We finally feel like we have his pain management under control, but we've decided to stay here one more night. This is The Long Saturday for us for a different reason, and I pray that God will continue to teach me of His love for me as I love on my little guy. The spiritual analogies are flowing here, people! I'm missing my other kids but feel really good about this decision. When you pray, ask the Lord to heal his right hand in particular....because there was so much work done on it, it is the one that is causing him the most discomfort. Thank you so very much!

Update - 6:00 p.m. Saturday

The daddy and I make a pretty good team...I hold Tom and comfort him all I can, and Hoffbeast tries relentlessly to entertain him and make him laugh. Looking like we will be here another night...pain is just not under control enough yet. It was a really rough day, but the evening is looking up. Keep praying...God is sustaining us.

Update - 11:30 a.m. Saturday

Okay, folks, pray us up, please! I haven't been able to be on here today because I've been busy being bossed around by my toddler. I certainly don't mind that part, but the reason he's bossing me around is because he is. just. so. miserable. It's pretty awful. And so sad for the mama's heart. Daddy is on his way, and I'm hoping that he will be able to comfort Tom. When he's sleeping, it's a beautiful thing, but when he's awake, he's so sad. We have had some small successes, so that's good.....it's going fine, but it's hard. Okay, this is the sweetest thing....the kids sent Tom a video text, and he is watching it over and over. He just looked at it and said, "I love you, Beth!" It's the ONLY thing that has made him happy so far today. Yay for technology!

Surgery complete!

Praise report: The surgery went very well, and Tom is sleeping peacefully here in his beautiful hospital room. We are grateful for so many things about today. The hospital staff was (is) wonderful, our surgeons were top notch, and our friends went above and beyond to care for our other kids. Tom is quite a colorful kid now--one blue, one green, and one purple cast!

Surgery is underway...

We are at Children's Hospital in the surgery waiting area...surgery has been underway for a couple of hours now, so we are starting to look up each time a doctor walks in here.  The time estimate for surgery is around 3 1/2 or 4 hours, but we know that it could, of course, be sooner.  The nurse whom we met with told us that our surgeon is very meticulous, so it could easily be on the longer end of the time frame. 



Tom was just a champ this morning!  He was so brave, and he never once complained about the fact that he couldn't eat or drink anything.  Woke him up and immediately tried to get liquids in him as he could drink clear liquids until 8:30 a.m.  After that, we cut him off, and for the next 5 hours, he uttered not one word about wanting something to eat or drink.  That seems like a small miracle, so I am grateful to the Lord for that.



Some funny things from our time waiting for surgery to start.....The nurse gave Tom a stethoscope, and that was a huge hit and entertained him for quite some time.  Only problem was that he chewed on it a bit and then another nurse came and borrowed it--and promptly gave it to a little girl across the way who also put it up to her mouth!  Gotta love germ-sharing at the hospital!  The hospital gown he is wearing is purple and has koala bears riding in spaceships on it...I love the randomness found on children's fabric!  And the best--the surgeon came in to us to talk and sat down on the hospital bed.  Tom was standing on the floor at this point, and while we weren't noticing (happens a lot), he quickly bent down and took the wheel lock off, sending Dr. Daley and the bed flying into the wall.  Okay, it was only about 6 inches, but it was funny still.  He is SO quick!



When they gave him the pre-op medicine, he turned a little bit tired, then a little bit hyper, then a little bit loopy....Daddy can always make him laugh, but he barely had to do anything, and Tom was giggling!  Pretty funny.



Mostly, we are doing fine.  It's only when I think about what is happening inside that OR that I get nervous.  One strange thing is that when they wheeled him away, the surgical fellow had come in to introduce himself, so we didn't really get to say goodbye.  I'm thankful for the hours of snuggling and kissing and smooching and hugging that we had this morning during the wait.



Thankful for all the prayers and kind thoughts...

The Why Behind the What

The what is becoming known by now....Tom is having surgery.  Word is spreading.  People are praying.  God has been preparing us for and leading us to this operation for a very long time now.

But many of you reading don't know why and are, understandably, wondering.
Tom was born with a birth defect known as Amniotic Band Syndrome.  Amniotic banding occurs in all countries, in all populations.  In the USA, when a baby is born with banding, a surgical plan is devised soon after birth with surgeries usually beginning around age 1 and being completed around age 2. 

In India, when a baby is born with banding, he is often thrown away.

As my (sometimes) keen little memory goes, I remember the exact converation where Hoffbeast and I discussed Amniotic Band Syndrome and talked about whether or not we would mark "yes" on our special needs openness form during the adoption process.  I said that, well, I wasn't sure; amniotic banding seemed like kind of a big deal and I didn't know if I was up for it.  My husband said something to the effect of, "So what if she's missing a hand?" and my mind rushed back to the little girl who had lived in our apartment complex in Colorado that summer.  She, in fact, was missing a hand, likely due to amniotic banding, and she was precious beyond measure.

He was right.  It wouldn't be that big of a deal.  At least, not big enough of a deal for us to say no.  We would confidently mark "yes" on that one (at least, as confidently as you possibly can when walking by faith and filling out that awful form).

Two short days after checking that box, we first saw the face of our baby Tom.  We saw his face in a full-length shot, his feet in a blurry photograph, and then clear as day, we saw the teeny tiny hands of our baby boy.  They were banded, and we had specifically been asked to consider his referral because of his special need.

Amniotic banding occurs when there is a tear in the amniotic wall.  Tiny protene fibers break away from the amniotic lining, float around in utero, and often end up wrapping around the baby.  If the tear occurs early in the pregnancy, a miscarriage can often occur because the baby simply can't develop.  But if it occurs when the limbs are developing, the baby will often be born a congenital amputee.  If it occurs later in the pregnancy when the digits are developing, the baby can have fusion in the finger/toe bones and/or webbing on the hands and feet.

The protene fibers literally wrap around part of the baby's body and become a part of the growing skin.  That would be fine except that the fibers ("bands") are not elastic, so the skin can't grow, and overall growth of the affected part of the body is stunted.

(Please keep in mind that I am not a doctor; I only play one on my blog.)

Tom has banding on all four limbs.  So while he functions just fine in most areas at this point, there are things that he simply will not be able to do in the future.  As our surgeon put it, "He'll never be a concert pianist, but he should be allowed to try."  That was one of the most precious statements the man could possibly have made, and he said it in an email way back when we were reviewing Tom's referral information.

And I agree.  Right now, the only thing he can't do is hold up his hand and say that he is two years old.  Or make a peace sign.  (I'm exagerating...there are other things that he has trouble with, namely things that require tight grip for small movement, like zipping.  But for the most part, he astounds us with his ability to function in spite of his disability.)

But someday, he will want to play the violin.  As it is now, that would not be possible, as the three middle fingers on his left hand are joined at the tips.  After the surgery, however, he should be able to do that--and many, many other things.  He loves Rex's violin, and he already has told us that he wants to play it someday!

On Friday, Tom will be having surgery on both of his hands and on his right foot.  Next time around, the plan is to have the second surgery on his right hand and also to operate on his left foot and ankle.  We are hoping for only two surgeries, but we will have to wait and see what the future holds.  Our surgeon feels pretty confident about the surgery and the likely outcome, so we are grateful and are hopeful about how the procedure and follow-up will go.

Thank you to everyone for your many prayers and kind words....we are thankful for so many who love and care about our sweet, happy, giggly little Tom.  I will try to send out a specific prayer request list tomorrow evening before bed...until then, goodnight.

Surgery Time!

Just off the phone with the hospital....surgery is scheduled for 11:30 a.m. on Friday.  We have to be there at 10 a.m.  It's happening....48 hours 'til go-time!

Our Cramazing May, Episode XXVII: The Playroom

Upon arriving at the orphanage for our second visit, we were taken to the playroom, where Tom's "class" was gathered.  It was such fun to walk into the room and see it finally...it was so familiar to us because one of the videos we had received of Tom had been filmed in there.  As soon as we walked in, we saw him....but he was quite content on a riding toy and didn't seem to want much to do with us.  That was okay, and we just let him take his time getting used to the strange new people who seemed to be so interested in him.

One of the great blessings of our time at Basundhara was getting to take videos and pictures for other waiting parents of their beautiful children.  One of my adoption friends was watching my blog closely and praying for our time in country, knowing that we would see her precious girl.  I had a list of children to ask about, but when I mentioned her name, they took me right to her.

Isn't. she. gorgeous??!  Those eyes!  She didn't seem to understand why the workers wanted her to smile so badly for the camera.  So she didn't.  Smile, that is.

Eventually, she let Hoffbeast pick her up, and at that point, all was well.  Rex gave S and the other children lollipops that we had brought, and she (and all the other kids, too) loved it!  We didn't ever get big smiles from her (at least not at this point), but we sure did get a lot of beautiful photos and video for her mama back home!

All the while, there was Tom, riding away and loving lollipop land, too!

One of the kids who immediately got my attention was this beautiful girl, seen here holding Tom.  P was the oldest of 3 siblings, and I knew their names from my passport application site searches.  They, too, had gotten caught up in the passport nonsense and didn't know when their parents were going to be coming.  But in the meantime, they were loving on the babies and looking forward to their own homegoing.  Tom absolutely adored P!  In fact, next to Soudemani, his nanny, P was the person he obviously trusted the most.  I love this photo...I haven't been able to connect with P's new family here in the States, but I hope to someday.

Before we left home, Rex chose a stuffed animal to take with us to give to Tom.  Jingles was a big hit from their first meeting...Daddy was even able to get a smile out of Tom by being silly with Jingles!  Big brother, Rex, was a big hit, too!  He was so, so good with Tom right from the start, always giving him space when he needed but also always looking for ways to reach out and love on him.  And he loved getting to interact with all of the other kids, too!

This man is the physical therapist who works at the orphanage.  From what we understand, about 90% of the kids at Basundhara are classified as "special needs".  No doubt, he spent lots of time with Tom, helping him learn to walk and learn to use his little hands.  We are so grateful for him, as Tom is almost fully functional at this point.  I wish he was here now to work with Tom after his upcoming surgeries!

Notice in the background the sweet little girl in pink.  We'll call her N.  She stole my heart.  And I've thought about her nearly every day since our return.  We have been told that her family is on their way to get her soon...I do hope so!  Here are some of the other beautiful kids we saw in the playroom that day...

The Pink Dress Trio, as I like to call them.  The girl on the right, I know nothing about.  But the girl in the middle came home in November, and the girl on the left--well, her parents are arriving in India TODAY to meet her and bring her home!

The Flower Girl

Just got this ahold of this picture from Noel's wedding.....could it possibly be any more precious??!