Caringbridge - 23 Weeks (and counting)

Here I am again, sitting down at my computer, trying to figure out how to answer that question I am asked again and again, "How are you doing, Sarah?"

First, let me tell you how I'm doing physically....I have gained another 6 pounds, my blood pressure is good, and Bart's heartbeat remains strong.  We will see the perinatologist tomorrow and will get our first in utero glimpse in 4 weeks.  I am hoping that Aaron is still with us, but we will wait and see.  I have been told that travel should stop at 30 weeks (June 5), and I will likely start having NSTs (Non Stress Tests) twice a week, I think, starting at 28 weeks or so.  Sleeping isn't so easy, but that's sort of to be expected.  I have a couple of great sleep nights a week, but most are spent tossing and turning a lot more than I'm used to.  I still don't enjoy my nightly shots, of course, but I'm getting through that, too...I just remind myself that I'm doing it for my family!

Now for the emotional part...I'm doing okay.  Really, I am.  Jesus is meeting my every need, and for that I am eternally grateful.  I have an amazing family, great friends who have served in countless ways already (and I know that there's more of that ahead!), a big, beautiful, welcoming house, an exciting ministry I get to be a part of...the list goes on.  I am blessed.

And in this hardship, in this reality that we are facing, I am blessed still.

We've been studying Joseph in Bible study, and it's amazing to see how his faith and trust in God was seemingly unshakable.  Hardship after hardship, suffering after suffering.....it didn't change his trust or waver his faith in the work of God.  Over and over, the text in Genesis says that "God was with [Joseph]."

And that, I'm certain, is the Truth to which we must cling--we, meaning all of us....Jeff, me, our kids....and you.  For in reality, hard times come to all of us.  For some, it will be in the realm of childbearing, for others it will be the loss of a job, for a few it will be an explosion that strikes out of nowhere.  Tragedy comes in this broken world...we weren't made for this place, after all; we were made for Another.

But through it all, He has promised never to leave or forsake His children.  So when I am afraid, I remember that His perfect love is what casts out my fear; when I am anxious, I remember that I can't add time to my life by worrying; when I am paralyzed by the unknown, I pray, thank Him for His presence, and walk on.

Our babies--both of them--are precious, both to us and to the God who made them.  What a privilege I have to be their mama and to carry them for now.  Thank you, God, for choosing me for this honor.