BASKETBALL!

Neil is playing ball, and he loves it.  In fact, tonight he told me that he is done with soccer.  We'll see if that sentiment holds once soccer season rolls around.  ;)  For now, though, he is loving playing on the Pacers Upward team and so far, is the high scorer of the season!  Last week, he only scored 6 points...I think his high so far was 20 points!!  Pacers are 3-1 half-way through the season.  Way to go, buddy!!!

The story--a catchup (from Caringbridge)

I have decided that I want to post our Caringbridge updates here, too, if even just so I have a record of what was happening at this time in our lives...and also, I suppose, because some people may choose to come here instead of to the Caringbridge site.  Either is fine.  This is a post from Jan. 20...

Hello, faithful friends, family, and prayer warriors--

I don't know how much to say...there is so much.  But I am going to attempt to get something on paper and into your hands so that you know at least some of the specific ways to be praying.

For a little catchup:

-Dec. 11--found out we were pregnant!

-Dec. 20--found out there were twins!  One of the heartbeats was stronger than the other, and a vanishing twin situation was suspected.  It was excitement with a little bit of reservation (and a lot of excitement--we are parents of TWINS!).

-Dec. 26--found out that one twin hadn't grown in a week.  It appeared that we were miscarrying one baby.  We began to pray and wait for our next ultrasound 2 weeks away.

-Jan. 10--Both babies were there and growing!  Our doctor still suspected a miscarriage, but for us, it was excitement all around!  One baby's heartbeat was still weaker than the other.  More waiting.

-Jan. 18--Saw the perinatologist for the first time for the purpose of getting started on Lovenox, the blood thinner that I'm on when I'm pregnant (because of my genetic propensity to clot and my history).  Found out the terribly difficult news that one of our babies doesn't have a functioning heart and is being kept alive by the other baby who is doing all of the blood pumping for both of them.  Heard clearly that not only will one not survive, but the other will eventually be in danger if the other one continues to grow.  It's a horribly sad situation, and we begin to process all that this diagnosis means.  The decision is made to wait on the Lovenox, in case an intrauterine surgery is needed in the next couple of months.

-Jan. 24--My OB sends me to the ER due to persistent headaches, concerned about possible blood clots.  The ER doc considers various tests involving various risks but eventually decides that it's best to start the Lovenox.  Daily injections, here I come!

That gets us to Friday.  You can already see some of the many ways to be praying....

I'm exhausted, and, by the way, JT has pneumonia and has been throwing up on and off for the last 10 hours or so.  Please pray for him, too.

Thank you for your love, prayers, kind words, and all the support you have given and will continue to give.  This is the beginning of a long road....

Love, Sarah (for Jeff, Seth, Thad, Hannah, JT, and the twins)

It's...

Complicated.  That's the word the doctor kept saying.

Complicated.

I really don't care for that word right now.  I would really rather that the situation not be complicated.

But this is the road that our Sovereign Lord has given us to walk...so we pray that we will walk it with dignity and grace.

Baby Aaron is very unlikely to be held in my arms in this life; he is likely to meet his brother, Hunt, in person before he meets his mom and dad.  And I'm working on wrapping my mind around that reality.

Meanwhile, Bart is growing perfectly and looks amazing on the ultrasound screens.  However, he could eventually be in danger, as well, if his heart continues to have to pump blood for both him and his growing brother.

Aaron, we believe, does not have a functioning heart; he is living on life support provided by Bart.  It's a terribly sad situation.  I was just looking forward to having twins running around here so much, but it's not gonna happen.

Unless God performs a miracle.  Which He can do.

I am so grateful that His actions are not based on my faith, because I'll tell you that I don't have much faith right now that the situation will change.  I think that at Friday's appointment, we will likely get confirmation that the doctor's assessment last week was right.

Oh me of little faith. 

I want to believe my God for big things, and I do.  But I'm just not sure His big things are the same as mine.

His big things are better by far.

And so we wait some more...

Over and Over

I have gone over every scenario in my head, it seems.  But each time I do, I come to the same conclusion.

"I am the LORD, and you can trust me."

I don't need to figure it out, or prepare perfectly, or practice my reaction to any given scenario.  I simply need only to trust Him.

We received good news a week ago when I went for my third ultrasound.  It was nothing short of awesome to see two babies who were growing and moving on the screen.  God answered the prayers of His people in the affirmative, and we are so grateful. 

But Aaron's heart is still very weak.

And so we have continued to pray.  Tomorrow we go for our first perinatologist visit of this pregnancy.  They are specialists in pre-natal care; it's what they do.  So I am counting on the fact that they will have a lot of insight into what's going on. 

Still, they don't know everything.  But HE does.

So I'm looking forward to the appointment and to, like before, seeing God at work, no matter the outcome.

He is our rock, our strength, our portion forever.

Amen.

A and B Name Update

Last night while watching the Packer game, genius struck.  How about "Aaron" and "Bart", in honor of our two favorite QBs??!

Our Growing Happy Little Fleet

Sometimes, I can't believe I'm really pregnant.  Carrying a child inside your body is, without a doubt, one of the most amazing things a women can go through.  (Many would say it is THE most amazing thing, but I know different, thank you Neil and Tom.)  The reality that life is happening inside and, in a sense, separate from you, is astounding, miraculous, and mind-boggling.

And I am experiencing it yet again.  Amazing.  Really, really amazing.

The Hub and I spent almost a whole year hoping to be pregnant, but it wasn't happening.  Month after month, the answer was no.  God was good in His answer.

And then He said yes.

Twice.

He is still good in His answer.

As we have told people our news, some have called us crazy.  We have even looked at each other and joked, "Are we crazy?"

But no........no, we're not crazy.  We are walking with Jesus, choosing to trust that when He says that children are blessings from Him, He means it.  Choosing that HE is the One who makes and takes life, that HE knows what is best for our family, that HE has the means and ways of making His best known and providing for us in the midst.

Will I be tired?   Yes.  Does "retirement" get pushed back a little later?  Yes.  Will our resources be stretched a bit thinner?  Yes.  Will I regret one single nanosecond of holding my children in my arms?

Um........a resounding no.  No, no, no.

Two babies.  What a profound miracle!  Our babies are most likely identical.  One egg which just happened to decide to split and become two.  God is awesome.

I go back to the doctor on Thursday.  She is expecting to see one baby thriving and one baby dying.

I am expecting to see God at work.

God, the Maker and Taker, Sustainer and Life-giver, Breath and Health, Great Physician, All-knower, All-lover, and All-trustworthy One.

I'm not sure what exactly my eyes will see as I look on the ultrasound screen, but I know for a fact that I will be watching the work of a Sovereign God, the One I serve, love, and to whom I have given my life and my dreams and my future and my all.

Because I can trust Him, all is well with my soul.

New Year News

It is late.  Early, really.  The wee hours of the morning on January 2, 2013. 

2013.  How did we get here?

I'm not sure, but I'm not gonna lie about the fact that I'm fine seeing 2012 go.  It was a hard year for me personally in a lot of ways, many of which are parts of the reason that I basically became a non-blogger for the 2nd half of the year.  Rex told me today that I should quit my blog.

No, son.  This blog is here to stay.

It still is my attempt at capturing in words and pictures the life of our family.  And seeing as how the scrapbooking materials that I borrowed from my friend years ago are still sitting in the same spot they were at the beginning of 2011, I'd say that this is a way better venue for capturing family moments than that is.

I guess my friend isn't that great at scrapbooking either, huh?  ;)

For example, where else can I record, for my children and their children to read in years to come........that we are pregnant.  With twins.

Yes, I said it.  And yes, it's true.

WE'RE PREGNANT WITH TWINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We haven't told everyone yet, but seeing as how my 3 blog readers already know, I think I'm safe here.

It's an unbelievable blessing.  Two babies, precious lives formed by God inside my womb.  I can hardly believe it.

But the fact that I can barely keep any food down helps me believe it.  Oh, I've been sick.  But it's been oh. so. worth. it.

The reality is that as of last check, one of the babies ("Angel" or "Andy", depending on who you're asking) wasn't doing very well.  So we are praying fervently that God would touch him or her and continue to give life and breath.  We go back on Jan. 10 and will know for sure then.

Until that day, I am grateful to the Lord for His incredible mercy and undeserved gifts.  I am a MoT.  A Mother of Twins.  And I am blessed.

Happy 2013.........welcome, new year, and all you will bring!