Complicated. That's the word the doctor kept saying.
Complicated.
I really don't care for that word right now. I would really rather that the situation not be complicated.
But this is the road that our Sovereign Lord has given us to walk...so we pray that we will walk it with dignity and grace.
Baby Aaron is very unlikely to be held in my arms in this life; he is likely to meet his brother, Hunt, in person before he meets his mom and dad. And I'm working on wrapping my mind around that reality.
Meanwhile, Bart is growing perfectly and looks amazing on the ultrasound screens. However, he could eventually be in danger, as well, if his heart continues to have to pump blood for both him and his growing brother.
Aaron, we believe, does not have a functioning heart; he is living on life support provided by Bart. It's a terribly sad situation. I was just looking forward to having twins running around here so much, but it's not gonna happen.
Unless God performs a miracle. Which He can do.
I am so grateful that His actions are not based on my faith, because I'll tell you that I don't have much faith right now that the situation will change. I think that at Friday's appointment, we will likely get confirmation that the doctor's assessment last week was right.
Oh me of little faith.
I want to believe my God for big things, and I do. But I'm just not sure His big things are the same as mine.
His big things are better by far.
And so we wait some more...
Complicated.
I really don't care for that word right now. I would really rather that the situation not be complicated.
But this is the road that our Sovereign Lord has given us to walk...so we pray that we will walk it with dignity and grace.
Baby Aaron is very unlikely to be held in my arms in this life; he is likely to meet his brother, Hunt, in person before he meets his mom and dad. And I'm working on wrapping my mind around that reality.
Meanwhile, Bart is growing perfectly and looks amazing on the ultrasound screens. However, he could eventually be in danger, as well, if his heart continues to have to pump blood for both him and his growing brother.
Aaron, we believe, does not have a functioning heart; he is living on life support provided by Bart. It's a terribly sad situation. I was just looking forward to having twins running around here so much, but it's not gonna happen.
Unless God performs a miracle. Which He can do.
I am so grateful that His actions are not based on my faith, because I'll tell you that I don't have much faith right now that the situation will change. I think that at Friday's appointment, we will likely get confirmation that the doctor's assessment last week was right.
Oh me of little faith.
I want to believe my God for big things, and I do. But I'm just not sure His big things are the same as mine.
His big things are better by far.
And so we wait some more...
3 comments:
Just read Psalm 73 today and took comfort in God being the strength of my heart and portion forever, which I think you mentioned in your last post. Love you, Shoffman. I love your heart and your faith, which glorify Jesus in all!
Ohh Sarah, we are praying for your sweet little babies. Trust me that your faithfulness is encouraging to me and I am thankful for this blog to keep in touch. The Stephens family loves you all!!!
Praying and hoping
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