Yes, that's right. Our family is in Nashville, Tennessee, this long weekend for the 10th-anniversary celebration of Show Hope. We are so thankful that we were able to come, especially since when we first got the invitation in the mail, it seemed like such a long shot. I figured I would be on bed rest or something by now, but here I am, traversing the country with my family in our 12-passenger van!
Tonight, Steven Curtis Chapman and his family welcomed donors, grant recipients, and others to the anniversary concert, and it was wonderful! Full of amazing stories and testimonies of God's grace, we were again humbled to get to be a part of the special world of adoption. Neil has been particularly vocal this weekend about how grateful he is that we adopted him (If he only really knew how thankful we are that God chose him for us!), and we keep thinking of how this reflects our relationship with the Lord--how grateful we are that we've been adopted by the King!
There are many things I should share related to the babies. So without further ado and in no particular order...
-At last Thursday's doctor appointment, I met one of the new doctors at the practice. She was very nice...no surprise. Everyone there is fantastic. I was concerned about a couple of things, but we talked them through, and in the end, she was able to answer my questions in such a way that my concerns have faded.
-Also at last Thursday's appointment, I failed my glucose screening. I think this happened one other time. No problem yet, except for the fact that I need to return on Wednesday for the more extensive 3-hour glucose screening. She told me that 95% of people who fail the 1-hour test end up passing the 3-hour test. That's what happened with me last time, and I'm hoping for the same result this time around.
-Baby Bart is still very, very low. 75% of his movements make me feel like he is clawing to get out. This was part of my concern, but Dr. W assured me that some babies just find their favorite spot and hang out there. I guess that's Bart and Aaron for you!
-Last week (again!), we received some amazing blessings from some folks. On Wednesday, I hung out with a woman from church for a bit who had asked if she could meet with me because she had "a couple of things" to give me. We talked for awhile, and I got to hear her story, which was so good. I hadn't known before that their family had lost a daughter to Trisomy 18. Heartbreaking, of course, but good to talk to someone else who knew before she was born that their child wouldn't live outside the womb. It is a strange reality to know that you're carrying a baby who can't survive. She gave me a book, "I Will Carry You" written by Angie Smith, wife of Selah artist, Todd Smith. I am not a fast reader, but....I finished it yesterday. It was sooo good! Angie and Todd also had a daughter who died upon birth. Months before she was born, this sweet couple was told that their daughter had conditions that were "incompatible with life". I cannot express how much that book has ministered to me over the last few days.
-Also on Wednesday, we received an amazing gift in the mail that came to us from some brothers and sisters in Christ who lives across the pond. Jill (Jeff's sister) send us a prayer quilt made my members of her church, and it is beautiful. It has been prayed over by many, and included was a card with the most dear sentiments--from people we don't even know. How blessed we are to be walking this road, despite the uneven terrain.
My favorite moment of tonight was when Casting Crowns was on stage performing, "Praise You in this Storm". As often happens when I hear that song, tears started falling as I chose again with my will to praise the God who gives--and takes away. I used to hear that song and think of Hunt; now I think of these precious babies I'm carrying today.....
Tom noticed my tears immediately, and with his sweet little hand, he began to wipe the tears from my face. Then Beth noticed and got in on the action. "Why are you sad, Mommy?" she asked.
"Well, Beth," I explained, "I'm just thinking about how sad I am that we have to say goodbye to Baby Aaron. I miss him already. But I'm also thankful because we can trust God with our sadness. He hears our cries and understands."
And then...out of the mouth of my sweet babe...with her hands cupping my face, she looks at me and says, "Don't be sad, Mommy. We will see him again soon!"
Amen, little one. You understand words that beguile the smartest of men and the most powerful of kings.
Because we will. See him again soon, that is. This life is but a breath.
So for the breath, I grieve. But for eternity, I rejoice.
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