It's been a hard week.  My emotions have been very, very raw.  Pain in loved ones all around, giving rise to my own pain of the past.  Frustrations have abounded.  My failures and failings have been on full display.

I have needed my friends.  And my husband.  And my children, especially my Heart who knows how to comfort me so well and can express what I'm feeling without being told.

I entered the battle zone, quite without warning, again last week.  I have missed my son, Hunt, more this week than I have in a long, long time.  I have cried.  A lot.  I have screamed on the inside.  I have vented my anger on the outside.  I have struggled to believe the truth.

It has not been pretty.  At all.

But God.  He is so, so gracious....loving....faithful....kind.  In love, He predestined me to be adopted as His daughter through Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will.  And as I talk to my mom, listening to her tears simply because of mine, I am reminded of His love.  And as I hold my daughter and love her with a love that she can't possibly know right now, I get it.  At least a little of it.

And my husband holds me and doesn't try to fix it.  And my son reads the Psalms to me and tells me that I can't let fear and worry run my life.  And my friend comes and helps me look through my files to find the important document.  And I read His words of life and His letters of love to me found in His Word.

And the glimmer of hope...the light of life returns.  Not completely.  Yet.  But it's there.  When I know the Truth, I am free.

Jesus, you are the Way, the Truth, and my Life.  Rule in my heart today.  Thank you for your love, your grace, and your truth....which clears through the dim and brings me back to life.