Our Cramazing May, Episode XXXII: Mama's First Cuddle, Our First Night as a Family

Saturday, May 21--Back at the hotel, it was time for lice removal.  We were very glad that we had brought the kit, and it was pretty obvious from Tom's scratching above his ears that we needed to use it.  Daddy held Tom in the shower while I shampooed his hair...he did pretty well, all things considered, but my favorite favorite part of the day..............was this moment:

My heart sighs all over again when I see these pictures.  He had kept his distance all day--and probably would have continued to, had Daddy not stayed in the mean shower--but since Daddy wasn't an option at this moment, he decided to give Mama a try.

I guarantee you, it didn't last.  As soon as Daddy was there, he only wanted him, but I sure did enjoy my few minutes of snuggle time!

Combing nits (Gives a whole new meaning to the word "nitpicking".) was more of a bonding experience, as mom and dad had to really begin taking care of our new son's health and hygiene quickly.  Those first couple of hours together back in our room were so special...I just kept staring at him thinking, "This is really it!  He's really here!  We're really here!"

And then....exhaustion.  And the most amazing thing....Tom slept the whole night long!  (And really hasn't looked back....he's always been a fantastic sleeper!)  The funny thing about this picture that you might notice is that.......there's no room in the king-sized bed for me!  We had gotten a floor mattress for Rex to use, but he fell asleep, and the boys looked so comfy that I didn't want to disturb them.  I wasn't sleeping much anyway, so it made more sense.  But I like giving Hoffbeast and Rex a hard time about making the Mama sleep on the floor!  :)

Our Cramazing May, Episode XXXI: Lipily Meets her Mama and Daddy!

Saturday, May 21--This is another post that is almost too holy for words...this is the part of the story where Lipily meets her mama and her papa (and we meet the dear friends we had only known online until then), and this blog gets introduced to three very important people in our lives.  Scott, Karen, and Lipily would be our travel (and trusting-God-with-the-adventure) partners for the next 10 days.

No surprise here...Tom was snuggled up next to Daddy while we waited for Lipily to be brought to the Family Room.  He wasn't smiling at me much yet, but at least he would look at me...

...once in awhile.  It's amazing how comfortable he had become with his papa--and so quickly!

The orphanage kids knew what was happening...they were all pretty excited for Lipily!  This same exciting day would happen for R and for Laxmi, both below in blue, within the month or so after we left.  I often wonder what has happened with the girl in the Spiderman shirt...

This is Nimchemney taking care of one of the babies....

...and Spidergirl playing with another.  This is life at Basundhara, and everyone pitches in to help each other!

Up on the balcony, we waited, and our little photographer (Rex) roamed.  He did a good job capturing the moment! 

Meeting Scott and Karen was something I had been looking forward to with much anticipation!  Karen and I had spoken on the phone every other day or so in April and many times each day in May.  The back and forth, the should-we-or-should-we-not-go, the praying and fasting together--we had dreamt of being able to be in India together, and it was happening--we could hardly believe it!  To this day, I am so very grateful that we were all there at the same time--we each played unique and important roles, and we had so much fun together, too. Great memories, great friends...thank you, Lord!

Scott and Karen had intended to arrive in Orissa the same day as we did, but their plane from Mumbai had been delayed.  It was so amazing to finally, finally meet them!  When we were in Indiana, they were still at their home in Illinois, and when Hoffbeast forgot his contacts, my dad overnighted them to Scott, who packed them with his things to bring.  When we were in England, they were waving at us from across the English Channel in France.  And when we were in the air on our way to Delhi, they were flying to Mumbai.  But something happened, and they weren't able to continue their travels until a day later.  They were obviously disappointed and frustrated that they had to wait, but by the time these pictures were taken, the delays no longer mattered.  Their daughter was on her way to them...and to their forever arms. 

The amount of waiting pictures on here is supposed to communicate what the wait actually felt like.  It felt like it took hours!  Looking at this picture makes me realize that Rex wasn't the photographer...I must have given it to one of the kids!  :)

More waiting views from the courtyard...

At this point, the three siblings (P and her 2 younger brothers, B and S) went to get their photo album.  Up until then, we weren't sure what country they were going home to, but we knew that they were close to meeting their forever family because their names were on the passport site that I checked several times a day.

Turns out that they, too, were going to the United States!  Basundhara was, at the time, partnering with 6 different agencies around the world--just 2 in the USA--so we had had no way of knowing where home would soon be for these kids.  It's so exciting to know that they are here somewhere and yet again, I am hoping that one day we can see them again.  They were so proud to show off the pictures of their new family and their new home!  Such sweeties--I'm so glad that they have a family, as older sibling groups often have a hard time finding a home.

And then almost suddenly, Lipily was there, changed back into her pretty purple dress!  Holy moments follow....

And in an instant, from not knowing to known.  It's amazing.  I love this picture of Lipily and Karen...the love in the mama's eyes, and the uncertainty in the daughter's.  Within hours--and definitely within days--the uncertainty would fade, and laughter would again fill the face of this precious little girl.

Meanwhile, Hoffbeast and Tom were bonding...one of the sweetest moments of the whole day was when Tom took Daddy's face in his hands and kissed him.  Absolutely heart-melting!

Untitled from Hoffbeauty on Vimeo.

Scott and Karen had arrived at the very end of the work day at Basundhara, so they had to decide quickly whether or not to take Lipily with them to the hotel.  We had almost settled on leaving Tom there until Monday (The office staff wasn't there on Sundays, so we couldn't take him then.), but when we learned that Lipily was coming with her mom and dad and when we considered the intense liking that Tom had taken to his daddy that day, we decided that bringing him with us then was the way to go.  And we never regretted it--in fact, I can't imagine it any other way!

So we went into fast-mode of saying goodbyes and signing papers.  We had promised to come back on Monday, so we were able to leave with minimal paperwork this day.  Later, we would sit down with the office staff and get all of Tom's official papers.  There was a bit of confusion, and when I think about it, there were definitely some tense moments that I don't fully understand (I think that sitting around and taking awhile to do things is probably a cultural thing--maybe especially in the 100 degree heat!), but in the end, we were able to sign the paper and go...and we never looked back!

Soudemani is a beautiful lady, and we are so incredibly grateful for her.  Rex liked her, and I think she enjoyed meeting Tom's new big brother.  And she sure can make Tom giggle!

She loves Tom--loved him like her own for two years.  I have no idea how these women do it, care for these kids until they find forever homes.  Some of these children--maybe many of them?--will never be adopted.  But others will, and when they leave, it must be beyond painful.  Thank you, Soudemani, for loving our son and taking such good care of him.  You are right, he is a "happy, happy baby!"

A family pic!  :)

S, P, Soudemani, Tom, and B

A few more pictures before leaving for the day...

Laxmi was "seeing" Hoffbeast with her hands...I love that!  And I loved her and her beautiful light-up-a-room smile!  Absolutely contagious!

And that was our last image from Basundhara that day...a smiling Laxmi.  We walked to the car, got in, and drove away.  The car ride back to Bhubaneswar seems like a blur to me...I must have been super tired and/or my camera battery died.  No photos of Tom's first car ride, but all in all, it went okay because, well, Daddy was there!

Time with the Twins

On Friday, I went over to the home of our dear friends, Andrea and Tim, to babysit.  Andrea was a part of a S.A.Y. Yes! training that Here's Life hosted this weekend, so Beth, Tom, and I went over and hung out all day with N, their 2 1/2-year-old son, and S & E, their 7-month-old twins.  We love this family like, well, family!

But Tom has a particular affection for E.  As in, I think he loves her.

When we were at my parents' house in March, Tom spent 20 minutes stroking E's hair while she was in her bouncy seat--with his little legs pushed underneath the seat, he sat and talked to her and sang to her and made her giggle.  It was priceless.

Any other boys out there with their eyes on E had better watch out!

When we arrived on Friday, the twins were napping.  But soon after, E woke up, and when I brought her downstairs, Tom looked at her and said, "Baby cute!  That's my E, Mom!"

His intonation and determination were so precious.  Yep, I think he loves her all right.

Later, I was feeding E, and Beth was right next to me, trying to be so helpful in her own way.  So I asked her if she would help me if God gives us another baby.  She said that she wants twins and that if we get twins, she will take care of the girl and I can take care of the boy.

"Okay, Mom?" she asked.

I told her that she would have to talk to Jesus about the whole thing.  So she prayed...

"Jesus, please give us twins like NaunAnd (her name for Andrea)....they're really cute!  Don't give us boys.  No, no, no!  PLEASE??!"

"I think He heard me, Mama," she concluded.

Done.

Baby Lou

We've been discussing adoption (as usual) a lot recently, seeing as how we are coming up on Tom's first Gotcha Day, and the topic of "Will we adopt another child, and where will he/she come from?" was on the table.  Beth often reminds us that she wants a "little sister AND a big sister," and Rex reiterated that he is fine with us adopting an older girl, as long as she isn't older than him.

After that, the conversation went a little something like this...

"I like being the oldest, because I like teaching the little kids things.  As I told everybody last night after dinner when I was playing with [my friend, Andrea's] twins, 'They don't call me "The Baby Whisperer" for nothing!'  Then I imagined in my head that they were saying, 'They don't call you "The Baby Whisperer" at all!"

Later, he told me that he hadn't actually imagined that but was just saying it to make me laugh.  Which, of course, worked.  I laughed quite a bit, actually.  Not sure if it translates well in print, but it was funny!

Also, last night after dinner, Rex was entertaining with his antics, and somehow the topic of nursery rhymes/kids' songs came up, including "Skip to my Lou".  Rex wondered aloud, "What does that even mean, "Skip to the Loo?" as he goes skipping off....to the loo! 

(By the way, I looked up the origin of the song...fascinating!  Thank you, Google!)

Last night, a couple of our new interns were over for dinner, one of them meeting Rex for the very first time.  They were in for quite the comedy hour last night!

Update - 7 a.m. Friday, May 4

I was SO tired when I wrote that post last night, but wanted people to have at least some idea of what was going on.

Now for some details...

Tom was a trooper and did really well during the cast removal until...the saw hit his leg.  At that point, he went from a giggling little boy to a freaking-out little monster!  Poor thing.  He was very scared and mad, and the scary part only got worse as the bandages were being pulled off and he got a look at his hands...which are scabbed and stiched and don't look anything like he remembers.

We had thought that 4 weeks casted would be the bulk of his care.  And I suppose it is, really.  BUT it turns out that there is more.  This way makes more sense, really...how could we have expected that the bandages would come off and all would be done?  He had major surgery on his apendages, and time is needed for them to fully heal.

So.....now we have entered the next stage, that of band-aids.  Yep, just band-aids...pretty simple, right?  :)  Tom now is very colorful in his camouflage, Dora, Cars, Spiderman, and Toy Story band-aids...all 13 of them!  Each day he will soak in the tub for an hour or so until the scabs come off, the wounds heal, and the stiches fall out/dissolve.  We go back to the doctor on May 31.

We are grateful.  Tears flowed when I looked down yesterday and saw my son's 5 fingers on his left hand, all separated and moving independently of the others...it was amazing.  BUT they don't look so good right now, and each time he accidentally rams them into something, it hurts.

Please continue praying...thank you.

Update - 1 a.m. Friday, May 4

There were good things and bad things about today.  The good thing?  It's done.  The bad thing?  It was kind of rough going there for while.

Please keep praying for our little Tom.  Thank you!

Update - 8 a.m. Thursday, May 3

Today is the day......we've made it!  Tom's appointment for cast removal/doctor's checkup starts at 10:30 this morning.  We are SO ready!

I must say, though, that besides the fact that I haven't been caught up on housework/laundry since before the surgery, we have been fine this month....Tom is amazingly resilient, and his bright smile and cheerful spirit was not hindered one bit by the 3 logs he's been lugging around on his limbs.  (Okay, maybe it was hindered for a few days, but that was expected.)

I get a little knot in my stomach when I think about today, but I just take a deep breath, cry out to the Lord again, acknowledging my trust in His plan, and move on.  After all, whatever is underneath those casts is unfamiliar.  The way his hands and foot have healed will determine whether we go through this all again in a few months, or if we will wait a year or so for the next surgery.  Also, we aren't planning for any therapy, but we have to see...his right hand is the most likely to need some help, and if he does need it, we've already met the Occupational Therapist that we would work with, and she's great!

One prayer request for the appointment is that Tom won't be scared...apparently, cast removal is loud (They use a saw?!), and when he gets scared, his little nose beads up with sweat, and he fights!  And he's very, very strong for a 3-year-old, so a scared Tom having to sit through 3 cast removals could be....interesting.  Please pray that he would be calm and that he could continue being the brave little guy that he's been through this whole process thusfar.  I love him!

Stay tuned....