Reading through the beautiful comments here tonight, it occurs to me yet again......
"This. is. happening."
This is really happening.
I remembered something tonight, and I'm thankful to God for bringing this to mind...
During the course of our dating relationship, Hoffbeast and I broke up a couple of times. The second time was even more painful than the first because, of course, by this time, I had thought that we were surely meant to be together.
I remember sitting in my room one night praying, "Surely you're not the kind of God who would dangle a carrot out in front of me, only to snatch it away at the last minute...right? You're not that kind of God!" This confident assurance on my part led me to move forward with confidence.
How foolish I was.
Here's the kind of God we serve: Faithful, Loving, All-knowing, All-powerful, Wise, Holy, Gracious, Compassionate. Those are some of His perfect attributes.
Nowhere in the list of Who He Is will you find the words Non-Carrot-Dangler. But because Faithful is there, we can trust that the carrots have purpose. And sometimes they're not actually carrots at all.
Am I making sense here?
It's how I feel now. "Surely You are not the kind of God who would fulfill my life-long (but almost entirely unspoken) dream of having twins, only to rip one of them away from me...right? You're not that kind of God."
Careful, daughter, that you don't make Me into something I'm not, promising you things that I've never actually promised.
Faithfulness. THAT is promised. Never leaving us, even in the trials. THAT is promised. Giving me what I think I want? No.....that was never promised.
I do not understand His ways. I wish His desires were the same as mine...but then again, I don't....because His are better.
So I will not cling to the carrot, this time of my boys playing together, sleeping in the same crib, and nursing side by side.
I will cling, by His grace alone, to the Truth.
"This. is. happening."
This is really happening.
I remembered something tonight, and I'm thankful to God for bringing this to mind...
During the course of our dating relationship, Hoffbeast and I broke up a couple of times. The second time was even more painful than the first because, of course, by this time, I had thought that we were surely meant to be together.
I remember sitting in my room one night praying, "Surely you're not the kind of God who would dangle a carrot out in front of me, only to snatch it away at the last minute...right? You're not that kind of God!" This confident assurance on my part led me to move forward with confidence.
How foolish I was.
Here's the kind of God we serve: Faithful, Loving, All-knowing, All-powerful, Wise, Holy, Gracious, Compassionate. Those are some of His perfect attributes.
Nowhere in the list of Who He Is will you find the words Non-Carrot-Dangler. But because Faithful is there, we can trust that the carrots have purpose. And sometimes they're not actually carrots at all.
Am I making sense here?
It's how I feel now. "Surely You are not the kind of God who would fulfill my life-long (but almost entirely unspoken) dream of having twins, only to rip one of them away from me...right? You're not that kind of God."
Careful, daughter, that you don't make Me into something I'm not, promising you things that I've never actually promised.
Faithfulness. THAT is promised. Never leaving us, even in the trials. THAT is promised. Giving me what I think I want? No.....that was never promised.
I do not understand His ways. I wish His desires were the same as mine...but then again, I don't....because His are better.
So I will not cling to the carrot, this time of my boys playing together, sleeping in the same crib, and nursing side by side.
I will cling, by His grace alone, to the Truth.
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