Our Cramazing May, Episode XXXVIII: Special Ceremony

In October 2009, the same month that we first saw Tom's picture, a family traveled to Basundhara to meet their daughter, and I followed their photo blog obsessively.  Among the many special moments captured in those photos was a ceremony where the women at the orphanage painted the feet of the mother who was there meeting her child.  It was obvious from looking at the pictures that it was a sacred, almost solemn ceremony.  For awhile, I thought that every mom probably got her feet painted, but over time, I realized that it was an Indian right-of-passage ceremony most often used for the girls at the orphanage as they are preparing to leave to go to their new homes. 

(To be fair, I still don't totally understand the custom--sometimes the little girls who aren't going home also have their feet painted, and once, even Tom's feet were painted in some photos we received, so I'm not sure exactly when and why it happens always, but it does seem sacred.  More to come on this later...)



Whatever the reason, on this day, Celina's caregiver looked at Swati and, in Oriya, must have asked if they should paint my feet.  Swati in turn asked if I wanted it done, and I was overwhelmed.  Yes, of course!  What an honor to be asked to participate in such a special ceremony...Basundhara was so important to our family, and the women who took care of Tom for those two years held such a special place in my heart!  Being asked if they could paint my feet was such an honor that I could barely speak at first except to say yes.

At my word, Swati called the older girls and told them that they were going to get to paint my feet...the girls were so excited!

I simply adored Swati and wished I could have stayed and spent more time with her!  She was the most gracious hostess we could have asked for!

I was so thankful to Celina's caregiver for suggesting the whole thing!  And she wanted a picture with me.  :)

The ceremony consisted of two of the older girls painting.  One used nail polish to paint my finger and toenails as well as to paint designs on my hands.

And the other, P, used a magenta henna dye to paint, with her finger, around the outsides of my feet.  It was beautiful.

One of the girls had my camera and recorded a bit of the ceremony as well as took lots of pictures.  This beauty ended up on my camera multiple times...I think she likes getting her picture taken.  ;)

All the little girls gathered around, too, including nearly-blind Laxmi (in the background), who led another sight-impaired girl to the celebration!  Look at how they navigated the stone steps!  Basundhara has steps everywhere, and none of the kids--no matter the special need--are hindered by them at all!

Laxmi was so sweet!  She wanted to know what was going on, so she rubbed my hair and my back to "see" what she could figure out.

Not sure what I was saying at this point, but it made the caregivers laugh!

Many of the older girls will never be adopted.  This shy beauty seemed particularly close to Swati...perhaps Swati has taken her under her wing in lieu of a mama.  She didn't ask me to take her picture, but I was pretty sure she wanted me to!

Young to old, beautiful women, loved by God and made in His image.  What a special, special time...I will never forget it.

Here is a video taken by one of the girls during the painting...

DSCN3536 from Hoffbeauty on Vimeo.

Life and Death

We were on our way to church--Desi, my kids, and I.  We passed a makeshift memorial that is all too common in our inner city--teddy bears and balloons attached to a tree or a light post, whichever is closer to the spot in which the (often) young person died.

This memorial was obviously rather new, and the flowers, cards, and stuffed animals were on full display...we knew.  So I asked.  I asked how he feels when he sees that.  "Sad," he said, "because that's the place where he died."

The "he" in that conversation was a no-name to Desi, but today, he told me another story, one that hits closer to home. 

We were sitting on our front porch, and she walked by, the mom of an old friend of Desi's.  They chatted briefly about which of his brothers is in jail for what, and off she went.  When I asked who it was, he told me that I knew her and reminded me that when we first moved to the neighborhood eight years ago, she had lived down the street.  Her kids used to come to our house to hang out and play games, especially on our Sunday evening game nights that we used to have each week. 

But now her son is dead.  Shot accidently by his friend after they had been messing around with a gun in their basement.  One friend gone; the other friend in jail.  He's been there three years so far with more to come.

Before telling me, he made sure I was ready for the story.  "You sure you wanna hear it?  You sure?"  So he told the story, and when he was finished, I asked him how he felt telling it.  "Like I don't wanna talk about it."  "Sad?" I asked.  "Like I don't wanna talk about it," he repeated.  That was all he could say as a description for how he felt.

They can mouth the words to the graphic lyrics about it.  They can watch movies about it.  They can play video games that play pretend it.  But death--and violent crimes in particular--is common here.  And when it comes to the reality of it, they don't wanna talk.  Who can blame them?

Oh, Jesus, how will they know about You unless they are told?  And how will they be told unless someone is here to tell them?  You want to give life when all around them, life is taken.

For Desi....I'm crying out for Desi's life...and for all the lives of the young men in our city...

What I Love about Soccer

I love how much Neil loves soccer.

I love how Desi gets to play basketball at the court during Neil's practice and we get to have good talks in the van on the way home.

And I love watching my littles play and enjoy the park together.

I love grass.

I love sitting outside, enjoying the beautiful spring days.

And I love watching my littles play and enjoy the park together.

(photos taken by Desi)

 

Did I mention that part already?!  :)

Our Cramazing May, Episode XXXVII: Sweet Girls

All Scott and I did on Monday was wait.  We were both aware that cultures operate differently and that we needed to be prepared for whatever!  In India, there is LOTS of waiting around--and for an outsider, the reason isn't always apparent...waiting because someone is late, waiting because it is hot, waiting because someone wants you to wait.  Who really knows?  But we had waited a lot during the whole adoption process, so the fact that we would have to wait that day didn't surprise us.

Being told (finally, after waiting for over three hours at our hotel for "the guy" to come pick us up and take us to the passport office) that passport officials are no longer seeing foreigners on Mondays?  Now THAT surprised us! ]
"Really?  So, when was this arbitrary rule decided upon?  This morning, probably?"

That's about how we responded.  

And then we got moving.  There was only so much waiting and doing nothing that we were willing to do.  We needed the Lord to move, and were taking whatever steps we could think of to see if it was that step that He would use to get our son and daughter home.  Scott went to call and update the orphanage as well as to let Tuna know what was going on, and I went to the computer to write and ask for prayer.  This link will take you to the post I wrote that afternoon.

There was nothing more we could do, so we went to Basundhara to say goodbye...

Arriving at Basundhara was like coming home.  I loved being there.  Taking in every second so as to remember it and treasure it in my heart forever.  One face that I will never ever forget is that of precious Naomi.  And soon after arriving, I went looking for her, and there she was...

Oh that face!  Seered into my heart...I wanted to scoop her up and bring her home with me, too, but as I knew that wasn't possible, I vowed to help find her a family.  And when I got home, I told everyone who would listen about this special little girl in India who needed a family.  She would be assigned a new family, but it wouldn't be one that I knew. 

(I've said this before, but I'll keep saying it...I so hope that one day I get to see her again or at the very least to hook up with her family so that I can give them all the videos and pictures that I have of their beautiful daughter.  And yes, we would go back in a heartbeat and bring her home if they needed us to!)

Next I was off to look for Santoshi--her mama and daddy had asked me to take pictures, and I was only so happy to do so!  :)  When I found her, she was wearing nothing but her birthday suit, so her caregiver quickly found her pretty pink dress (Remember the Pink Dress Trio?) to put on her.

Other friends from her room...

All ready!  Isn't she a beauty??!  :)

I absolutely LOVE this picture of Santoshi and her caregiver!

Then, it was more pictures of Celina!  Celina's mama wanted to sew her some clothes and had asked me to attempt to get measurements.  I didn't do a great job at that, but I did get some wonderful new pictures, including this one of her with her caregiver.

The caregivers were so sweet and the love was so obvious.  What a great place for our kids to be while they waited for us!

CamWow....WOW!

While waiting at the doctor's office, mama and the littles had some fun with CamWow.  These are too good not to share...they CRACK me up EVERY time I look at them!  :)

 I'm pretty sure that the creators of Shrek must have used this app before working up their drawings...doesn't Beth look like an ogre from Shrek--minus the green and the weird ears, of course!?

 Mind you, we often use the CamWow for entertainment while waiting, but few of the photos actually get saved.  These were worth saving.

Hilarious.

GOTCHA!

 You are FAMILY.  You are OURS.  We've GOTCHA...forever.

Our Cramazing May, Episode XXXVI: Monday Morning at Basundhara

Monday, May 23--“'The boys' are downstairs at breakfast, and I am packing up for our hopeful trip to Delhi tonight.  If all goes as planned, we will wake up one week from today with our whole family (minus our Hunt).  I can’t wait to get a Beth Hug and give my Neil a good back scratch while he squeezes me tight.  Things are going as well as could possibly be expected with little Tom.  It will be interesting to see how he reacts today at the orphanage….Lord, I pray that he would somehow, someway understand.  And I pray that we find our FLIP.  So many precious memories captured on there…

It is a new day, and the big item on the agenda is the passport office.  I am grateful that God has made it possible for us to go and pray that He will lead us to the right people and that it wouldn’t hinder—and would maybe even help—the adoption program through Basundhara, AIAA, and the other agencies.  What a wonderful place our son has lived for these past 2 years.  When I asked what they needed, Swati simply said that they needed diapers and formula.  No extravagant requests…not even the request of new beds, which in my opinion, they could sorely use.

My mind is set on You, Lord.  I know that any action at the passport office will come because YOU move them!  Lord, would you use us here somehow…however we can best bring your name glory and honor, do it!  Perhaps we should go to Delhi tonight; or perhaps you mean for our plans to change.  If so, that’s okay, and we rest in you."

I wrote those words in my India journal, knowing that I had no idea what the next few days would bring.  We wouldn't go to Delhi that night--in fact, it would be an extra two days before we could go, but God was so good and so faithful through it all, and seeing Him move in the end was worth the wait through the uncertainty.

The plan was for Hoffbeast, Rex, Tom, Karen, and Lipily to head back to the orphanage for the day while Scott and I went to the passport office.  We were hoping to get the passports before heading to Basundhara to say our goodbyes and pick up the necessary paperwork that would accompany us and our kids on the way home.

I was feeling sappy and nostalgic.  This was it.  Whether or not those passports would be in our hands by the end of the day, the adventure had begun, and we would never be the same.  I took some pictures...treasuring these things in my heart.

Our family needed three sets of shoes on the flight to Orissa...

...but would need four sets of shoes on the flight out.

These are the flowers that Tom had for me on the day we met...I knew that I couldn't keep them much longer, but I wanted to make sure to take them with me in picture.

So we packed up our room and parted ways, saying goodbye to Hoffbeast, Karen, and the kids, praying together that God would perform the miraculous at the passport office.  And Scott and I waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

Meanwhile, at Basundhara, fun was being had in the family room...

Lipily's new mama and Tom's new daddy were SILLY people that day!  Truthfully, they were both amazing, entertaining the kiddos and showering them with as much love as possible.

Rex had found a new book to look at...I think it might have been a book sent to one of the kids at Basundhara by her waiting family.  Either way, it's the only time Rex is pictured with any books besides Where's Waldo? and the Time 2012 Almanac for Kids.

I know that they were eager to hear news, but until they did, they were making the most of their time, enjoying the place where their son and brother lived for two years.

"Childline 1098 (the phone number) is a national, 24-hour, free, emergency telephone helpline and outreach service for children in need of care..."

Through Childline, our son and many other children like him are given the chance to live.  When Basundhara receives a call about a child in need, they immediately make arrangements to pick up the child and bring him/her to the orphanage to receive needed medical treatment and try to get him/her matched to a family.

The palm trees and other foliage there were beautiful...what a lovely place to spend the first two years of life.  If he couldn't be with us, I am glad that Tom was with Soudemani and others there who loved him.

And again, I remain so grateful that Lipily was with us on this journey.  She had known Tom for a long time, and she was so nurturing and tender with him whenever he was sad.

It was hot and they were tired.  So off came Tom's shirt and on came a nap!

Karen was well-stocked with art supplies for Lipily...but at least in this picture, it's obvious that they came in handy for the boys, too--for Rex as well as for S and B.  It was such fun for Rex to have other kids along...the orphanage was about 90% girls, but there were some boys around, and Rex made fast friends with them!